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While Tyler fist-bumped me, Henrietta groaned. Chuckling, I walked back to my car and didn’t leave the spot until they drove away.
The looks on their faces had me sporadically bursting into laughter the rest of my shift, but the closer it got to quitting time, the more I thought about Larkin and what I wanted to say to her. I just knew, deep in my soul, there was something more than a crush between us. I was falling for her. And I wanted to do whatever I could to make her smile, to make her laugh.
So on my way home, I made a few calls. And then I walked to her front porch, where she was already sitting under the light’s glow.
26
LARKIN
I saton my front porch after the kids had gone to bed. It had been a hard morning with them.
Regardless of what society thought or all the reasons I needed to get him out of my head, I couldn’t stop thinking about Knox.
Couldn’t stop wishing that we could be together.
That it wouldn’t break my children’s hearts to lose him if things went south.
His headlights panned over the street and then his driveway as he got home from work, and he got out of his cop car, looking sexy as hell in his uniform. The black material hugged his strong biceps, and something about knowing he could protect me, would protect me when the chips were down, made my heart beat faster.
He caught my gaze and started walking my way. “Hey,” he said with a gentleness that belied the brute force of his body.
“Hey.” My voice was weak. Maybe all of me was weak when it came to him. Or maybe I’d used all my strength standing up to Seth today. Saying the words that were true and holding back even worse things I could have said to him.
He sat beside me on the front steps and glanced to the monitor where my sleeping children lay in black and white. With the volume up, you could hear the soft sounds of their noise machine playing peaceful lullaby music.
“How did they do today?” he asked.
My heart fell for him even more. Because with all the stuff going on between us, he put my babies first.
“It was a rough day for Emily,” I said. “All the feelings, all the behaviors. She kept asking to talk to Seth. I called him for her, and of course he didn’t answer.”
Knox let out a low swear.
“I know. And Jackson feeds off Emily so much that he was a Velcro baby all morning. But after they napped, I took them swimming, and I think that helped take their minds off things. And it tired them out, so they went down pretty quickly tonight.”
He reached out, touching my hand where it rested on my knee. It sent warmth flowing from the point of contact. “And how are you?”
How was I?I hadn’t even thought to ask myself that question today, knowing I needed to be strong for my children. But here Knox was, looking out for me when I had never asked him to. It took a second for me to feel my feelings and articulate them. “I’m hurt, disappointed. Seth and I didn’t have a perfect marriage, but I never envisioned it spinning out like this. I feel guilty, like our problems are keeping my kids from their father. Being a mom is... It’s my most important job, and I feel like I’m failing.”
“No,” Knox said firmly. “You set a boundary that needed to be set. Behave respectfully and he’s welcome over. Your kids don’t need to hear their dad badmouthing their mom or the other way around.”
He saw me through the best possible lens. When all I could find was my dirt, he saw the gold, and it made me feel so much better in a way I couldn’t put to words. “I made brownies for you,” I told him. “I wanted to thank you for—well, everything. And I wanted to talk to you about...”
“Everything?” he said with a lopsided smile.
“Yeah, that,” I replied. “The brownies are inside.”
“Let me change, and I’ll come over?”
I nodded, taking a breath to steel myself. While he walked back to his place, I stepped inside, propping the front door open to let in a breeze. Utilities were no joke in the summertime.
While I waited for him, I couldn’t just sit still. Especially knowing the type of conversation we were about to have. It felt like one of those moments that would change everything. So I made myself busy, getting out plates for the brownies and trying to dish them up special like he had the other day.
I’d paid so much attention to him then, I knew each step, starting with microwaving the brownies. I had to fumble through my cabinets for chocolate syrup but realized that I’d used it all making chocolate milk for Em earlier. Luckily, I kept extra on the top shelf. My fingertips brushed the bottles, and I stretched a bit taller, wondering if I could wiggle it out without getting a chair. I wanted the brownie to be heated and topped with chocolate for Knox when he was done changing and came inside.
But then I felt a warm chest behind me and his arm brush over mine as he easily grabbed the bottle. My heart hammered forcefully as I turned to see him so close to me, heated blue eyes on mine. “Is this what you were reaching for?” he asked, his voice husky.
I swallowed. Nodded. “For the brownies.”