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“But I need you to understand... It means my kids are my life. They come first. And I’m not going to start a relationship, a serious relationship, with someone who isn’t all in. Who doesn’t understand that my kids and me are a package deal.”

I stood, crossing the room and taking her face in my hands. “Farrah, I’m all in, with you and your children. How can I prove it to you?”

“You’re saying everything I want...”

“But.” My chest felt tight. I felt so close to falling, hitting the bottom.

She looked up at me with big doe eyes. “You’re saying everything I want, but... I promised myself that when I dated for real again, I wouldn’t settle. Caleb only married me because of Levi. And I don’t regret my kids at all, but if I do it again, I promised myself that my man would put me first. He’d spend evenings with me, weekends. He’d encourage me in reaching my goals, support and love my children as if they were his own. He’d have a family that loved me and my kids equally, didn’t look down on me for my previous marriage. And if we ever got married, it wouldn’t be out of obligation, but because I was the one he wanted by his side forever.” She barely paused long enough to take a breath. “And I know it’s a lot to think about before we’ve even gone on a real date, but it’s what I need, Gage. And if you can’t give that to me long term, just tell me now before I get more invested than I already am.”

Her words did strange things to my heart. “You’re invested?”

She let out a mix between a laugh and a cry. “Of course I am. How could someone not fall for you, Gage? The real question is... why me?”

“Why you?” I stared at her, incredulous. “Can’t you see what you do to me? I’m not the kind of guy who buys flowers and tries to impress a woman. I’m not the kind of guy who shows up at a bar because I’m worried a woman will be interested in someone else. I’m not the kind to do this and beg for you to be with me. But here I am, Farrah. Because it’s you. Ilikedmy life before I met you. I never dreamed of having a relationship, but you marched in with your coffee and your laughter and your sunshine and you showed me the darkness I was living. And now the thought of living without you is eating me alive.”

Her lips parted, and I knew I had to talk fast before she came up with any more doubts about me. “And you want a family behind you? Ever since you’ve started working with me, my siblings have been begging me to ask you out. If this turns into something real, you have nothing to worry about, because they’re already your biggest fans.”

“Really?”

I nodded. “And I promise I’m better with kids than you’d think.”

She chuckled, coming closer to me and putting her hand on my chest. “I know you have a good heart, but it would have to be serious, really serious, before we integrated our lives that way.”

My eyebrows drew together, and I covered her hand with my own. “Look at me, Farrah. I’m as serious about you as I can get without dropping to my knee and putting a ring on your finger.” And if that’s what it took for her to give me a chance, I’d do it.

She searched my eyes for a moment, and I knew before she spoke the words that I wouldn’t like them.

“If you want to take this to the next level with me, involve my children, you need to make amends with your parents, and I need to meet them.”

My heart stalled in my chest. “It’s been years, Farrah. Too much water has gone under that burning bridge.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I promised myself I wouldn’t settle, Gage. Don’t make me choose. Please,” she added in a whisper.

There we were. All our truths, our desires, laid bare. And Farrah was asking me the one thing I wasn’t ready to do. Not right now. “I will, but... Will you give me some time?” I asked.

Taking her smiling lips between her teeth, she nodded.

My smile had never been this big. I almost didn’t believe how lucky I was. I bent, taking her lips with mine and kissing her deeply. Excitement mixed with apprehension whirred through my veins. Because even though I’d gotten the girl of my dreams, I had to face my nightmares.

38

Farrah

Even if nothing came of our relationship, this would stand up as one of the best weekends of my life. Gage and I spent all of Saturday in bed, kissing, hugging, making each other feel good. Talking about our families, our lives. Getting to know each other, every piece of information an exciting discovery.

But on Sunday morning, I learned one of my favorite parts of Gage’s apartment: his shower.

There was so much room in here, the water pressure was incredible, and you could even make water and steam come from different directions aside from the rainfall showerhead. Plus, he had fresh eucalyptus hanging from a hook, making the whole place smell like a spa.

If I didn’t have a job, kids, a hot man waiting for me—I might never leave.

But eventually I got that hot, sweaty feeling you get after too long in a shower and stepped out into the steamy room, reaching for Gage’s terry cloth robe. The man may have kept his decorations sparse, but he did not skimp on luxury items. This thing was softer than a baby kitten.

Smiling to myself, I walked out of the bathroom to his bedroom, trying to decide if it was worth it to change into fresh clothes or if I should just slip under the covers and wait for him to come back from working out and continue what we started earlier this morning.

I heard the elevator ping and then the doors slide open “Did you order takeout?” I called. “Because I amstarving.”

Footsteps sounded over the wood floors, and he came into the room carrying a box wrapped with a ribbon, a sly smile on his lips.