Page 60

My heart ached for him. I knocked on his door and said, “Drew, can we come in?”

“You can,” he replied. “Not Dad.”

Caleb looked pissed and opened his mouth to say something, but I just held my hand up and said, “Give me some time with him.”

I pushed my way inside Andrew’s room, noticing that the baseball bat and glove were nowhere to be found. Then I spotted the end of the bat sticking out from under his bed. I let out a soft sigh, and my eyes landed on the framed painting above his bed. The one that Gage had paid for an instructor to make with Andrew.

It hurt my heart that someone who’d known Drew for thirty minutes was more considerate of his interests than the man who gave him life. “Hey,” I said gently. “I'm sorry about the fingernail polish.”

Andrew held his pillow to his stomach. “It just looks like so much fun when you and Cora do it and make little designs. I thought it could be fun for me to have my own.”

I reached out, rubbing his shoulder. “I didn't know that you felt that way. But next time Cora and I do nails, you can join us, okay?”

He nodded. “Thanks, Mom. Did you know that there’s a glow-in-the-dark kind of polish?”

“Glow in the dark? That's amazing.”

“That's what I thought,” he said. “But Dad said fingernail polish was for girls. He said I could do baseball instead.” His little lips screwed up, and I could tell he was on the verge of tears. “I told him I hate baseball, but it didn’t matter.”

“Babe, you don’t have to play baseball if you don’t want to. And anyone can paint their nails, okay? It’s literally just colors. Not a boy thing or a girl thing.”

He looked up at me. “I don't have to play Little League this summer, right?”

“Not if you don't want to,” I said.

He nodded, looking down at his bed. He'd gone for a bedspread that was designed after one of his favorite video games.

“Drew, Dad isn’t perfect, and neither am I. But he’s here now, and I know you’ve missed him.”

Andrew nodded, wiping at his eyes. “Dad said he's sleeping on the couch. Does that mean that we can play video games until he goes to sleep?”

“I think that's up to Dad,” I said. “I might just spend some time in my room.”

“Can't we be together like a family?” he asked.

My heart ached for him. He was just too young to really understand. And to be fair, no eight-year-old shouldhave tounderstand. “We are a family, Drew, but not the same kind that we were before. And that's okay.”

His lips trembled slightly, and I pulled him into a hug. After a few minutes, he took a deep breath and said, “I'm going to ask Dad about the video games.”

“I think that's a great idea.”

He pushed himself off the bed, giving me a playful look. “Maybe our new family can play more video games?”

I chuckled, walking behind him. “Nice try.”

We walked to the living room, where Caleb and Levi were battling each other in a video game while Cora played with one of her dolls on the floor.

“Can I play with you?” Drew asked, sitting by Levi on the couch.

“Sure, buddy,” Caleb said. “You can have my controller.”

I folded my arms across my chest, hating the sight of Caleb in my place. It felt so wrong for him to be here, taking up space in my fresh start. But I knew it was best for the kids if he had time with them. “I'm gonna go to my room,” I said, putting my thumb over my shoulder. “I figured you could put the kids to bed tonight and I will see you all in the morning.”

I was about to walk away when he said, “Wait up. I want to talk to you about something.”

“What’s up?”

“Privately.” He stood from the couch.