Page 82 of Falling for the Wife

Strenuously, it took a great deal of effort to slip out of bed then drag my bloody arse to the bathroom to shower, needing to wash the heavy stench of alcohol off my skin. Once done, I strode out with a towel carelessly slung around my hips as I headed towards the door. Before I did so, I quickly glanced at Gisele’s closet and found my clothes strewn on the large ottoman. Was she trying to move my things into her own space? I snickered, amused by her keenness to truly welcome me back home.

Walking out of her bedroom, I directly went into mine, only to find her in the middle of my closet space, gripping the frame I’d hidden in my drawer. My heart lurched into my throat, halting my world altogether. Gisele’s glacial stare went straight into my bones, freezing my ability to function.

“Skeletons in the closet,” she uttered in a chilling, hair-raising manner. “Who’d have thought you’re one for banal adages.”

Dread ricocheted all over me as I cautiously took a few steps with my arm stretched out, needing to get to her before she pushed me away. “I can explain.”

“Explain?”she faintly hissed as her eyes pinned me on the spot.“You’ve kept this a secret!”Her arm raised in the air, gripping the weathered frame I was actually quite terrified she’d drop and break.

My eyes speedily shifted from her face then towards the frame. “Be careful with that, Gisele. Don’t you bloody drop it!” I thundered out, about to lose my bloody mind.

She tauntingly cocked her head, loathingly glaring at the frame. “Will it break your cold, lying heart, Jared?” She audaciously pouted, mocking the fear she found in my eyes.

Damn it all to Hell.

“I beg of you. Her memory doesn’t deserve to be disrespected in such a way.” My eyes frantically pleaded as I remained frozen, too horrified to move another step in case she dropped the precious memory of my past. “Her name’s Paige. We married when we turned seventeen because I’d gotten her pregnant. She was the love of my life, and I was hers. Something went horribly wrong during childbirth. Everything was so chaotic then, but my daughter, my little girl, my baby…Penny…She came out a stillborn. Paige died from complications right after. My life ended with them up until your father showed up to give me a helping hand. Now I’m here with you, married to you. I’m sorry. You have no idea how grave it feels to see you like this. I never intended for you to find out this way. I was going to wait for the right moment to reveal my past because it hurts to speak about them after I failed them both. I’m gutted that I can’t take the hurt away. I’m so terribly sorry for that.” I felt humbled as I spilled the painful memories I’d heavily carried in my heart. Paige and Penny were my shroud, my heavy cross to bear, reminding me of my failure. But most of all, they were the loves of my life. Losing them meant losing myself as well…up until fate had brought me Gisele. And it seemed I was given a taste of paradise before it was being threatened once again.

I understood the gravity of my inaction, but was it enough for her to leave? Surely, after what we’d been through, she wouldn’t easily give us up? I had to believe we were stronger than that, because if I didn’t, I had nothing left to hold on to.

The woman who had such a profound hold on me remained still as she silently fumed before she ever so slowly placed the frame atop the drawer. “I apologize. Had I known—I’d never dare think of it.” Silently, her tears fell, but her gaze never met mine. “I need to think. Please, don’t follow me. Don’t do anything. I just want to be alone and to be away from you.”

“Gisele…”If she decides to leave me…I’d bloody go mental. “Please, talk to me,” I despairingly beseeched.

She vehemently shook her head without bothering to wipe her tears as she carefully went past me. Unwilling to let her go, my hand hastily grabbed her arm, yanking her against my body, her back crashing against my chest as I wretchedly clung onto her.

“Forgive me, kitten…please.” Imploring, my face buried in the crook of her neck, breathing her in. The gutting pains in my chest continuously eviscerated me each time she hiccupped. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you…never like this…I’m so sorry.”

“Let go!”

I didn’t budge. “If I do, we’d be separated, and I’d rather deal with your anger and deal with this together instead of worrying if you’re okay.”

“Why the fuck do you have to be so freaking crazy!” she shrilled, her wails escalating as she tried to punch my arms, begging for release to no avail.

Closing my eyes, I stuck to her, gripping her thrashing body, holding her closer, locking her down. “I’ll bear your pain. So, hit me. Give me your best shot. Hurt me, kitten! Do what you must,butI’m not letting you go.Do you hear me?I’m. Not. Letting. You. Go.”

Gisele was past livid. She released a long, guttural cry, showcasing the pain within her. “Jesus! You drive me crazy!”

Though she tried to hurt me the best she could, my arms wouldn’t relent. She threw a good deal of weight, too, and I was sure I’d get bruises from her consistent blows lasting for over an hour or so. But I dutifully fastened, banding my arms around her with unbreakable strength. And as for the bruises, those would heal, but her heart, I wasn’t quite so sure.

“You’ve broken my trust…Your words hold no meaning anymore.” Her voice snapped into a broken cry, sounding beyond depleted, irreparably defeated.

Exhausted from fighting me off, she sagged against me. Her cries turned to hiccups. Her struggles turned to passivity. Murmuring soft words into her ear, I tried to pacify her before slowly gathering her in my arms and bringing her towards the untouched bed. I carefully placed her placid form down before joining her, my arms gathering her worn-out body, quietly holding her until her hiccups fully subsided.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I do have an idea what you’re feeling,” I softly said, the ache in my throat making it difficult to breathe evenly. “This is all my fault. I’m not asking for your forgiveness, Gisele. I don’t deserve it, but I’m pleading to your heart; don’t give up on me just yet.”

This new relationship required time to blossom. We were simply ironing the kinks and curves. Disclosing my past wasn’t an easy task, even though it had happened years ago. I hoped she understood that much. It might take time for her to forgive me, and I deserved her disdain, but all I wished was for her not to shut me out.

The tremors in her body slowly began to ebb away. I heard her take a deep breath. I wasn’t sure if it was due to annoyance or relief.

“I’m sorry about what took place earlier. My guilt’s eating at me. I’ve been so blinded by hurt I didn’t fully analyze any other possibilities as to why you’d be keeping an old wedding picture. As for you not telling me about your past…It sucks to find out this way, but at the same time, I understand it’s hard to recall hurtful memories, most especially since you lost two of the most important people in your life. My insecurity—my jealousy got the best of me. It shouldn’t have, but it did.” Her tiny voice echoed in the still silence of the bedroom. “There’s nothing to forgive, Jared.” Hearing her say it was a balm to my soul. It eased the tension that racked through me. “Just no more secrets, okay? I don’t think I can cope if you bombard me with another,” she added with an edge to her tone, as if sending me a warning.

“None. I have nothing left to hide.” Relief washed over me as my lips kissed the skin on her neck.

We stayed in this position for another hour, simply absorbing each other and revitalizing our drained energies. We stayed silent, but this time, her arms stayed atop my own, reassuring whatever qualms I had left.

After we left my bedroom, Gisele quickly freshened up before we strode hand in hand towards the kitchen to satiate our grumbling bellies. The rest of the day, we spent it catching up on films we hadn’t seen. Entwined in our home’s movie theater, we made love in between films.

I realized what it meant to almost lose her. I wouldn’t let anything—or anyone—come in between us. It was rather a tall order, but giving up on her was out of the question. Not now, not ever. She was mine, and she would remain mine.