Page 42 of Falling for the Wife

“Whose perspective,yoursormine? Because I can tell you now, Jared St. James, I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone in my life. Life’s been crazy, and the only time it isn’t…It’s when I’m in your arms. I need you. Desperately. So, don’t take this away from me, too…It’s the only thing keeping me sane. Please, don’t leave.”

Please.

One word and it was threatening everything I stood for. Bloody hell. Why must she be so…so every goddamn thing that was all sorts of bad for me? There was a reason I kept her at arm’s length for years. In this very instant, I was being reminded why. Gisele Weber had the gift to make me doubt myself, and being the man I prided myself to be, it rocked my perfectly stable, work-driven, uncomplicated life.

There was a decision to be made—be her pillar of strength or save myself from damnation. Planting a firm hand on my hip, my brows furrowed while being contemplative. Find a new course or retreat, my mind perpetually deliberated.

I caught sight of her soft bottom lip trembling as she hopelessly regarded me. It gutted my insides to see her in pain.

Overawed with consuming guilt, I quickly rushed to her side, situating myself next to her on the ottoman. Shifting her body so we faced one another, I was momentarily overwhelmed with a need to pacify her.

“Gisele…”Don’t cry. I won’t be able to take it.My body having a mind of its own, it instinctively took hold of her soft hand, drawing it to my lips. The feel of her skin against my lips jolted my body to life. Captivated by the sensation she affected me with, I kept it there. My lips pressed, faintly brushing against her skin, kissing her palm, trailing onto her wrist.

“I warned you, didn’t I?” A pained smile crossed her pink lips. “That night, I said it…but you didn’t listen.”

She did, but her words had hardly penetrated through my brain since my cock had done the thinking for me, ravenously dead-set on one thing and one thing alone—her body. “You did, and I’m sorry for that.”

“How long will you be gone for?”

How long? The time frame I had yet to decide. “A few weeks. A month. Maybe more…it depends.”

She grimaced. “It depends on what, Jared?”

Brutal honestly—it was what she and I had agreed on, even though the other wouldn’t be too pleased with the outcome. It was an essential ingredient to our complex relationship. Of vital importance to supporting our extraordinary union. Without it, we’d have nothing to stand on. And even though divulging the truth was the last thing I wanted to reveal, I was left with no choice.

“It depends on…when I’m unreservedly certain I’ve flushed you out of my system.”

“Where will you go? Oh, wait,” she scoffed mockingly. “Why even ask? Of course, it’ll be with Rose and her sparkly vagina.”

She wasn’t amused. Neither was I.

Gisele scornfully glowered at me. And even when angered, she was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever set eyes on.

“I should’ve known…I don’t know why I fooled myself into thinking maybe things had changed between us—that we had something good, something special—but you’re just as fickle as they come.”

“Youarespecial.” No woman dared me to think twice. That in itself was rather telling. My body raged on while my mind struggled for regularity.

“Yeah, not special enough for you, apparently.”

She wastoospecial for my liking, so much so that I was willing to move homes to expunge her from my system.

“You have men falling at your feet. I doubt you’ll even remember me.”

Her eyes sparkled defiantly. “If believing that helps you, then go on ahead. They did say some men were plain idiots. You can add yourself to the tally, Jared. I heard the registration’s free in the ‘dumb as fuck’ record,” she spat disdainfully, challenging me.

The spitfire had wit, and I admired her all the more for it.

“I’m doing this for you—for us, but mostly for you. You’re blinded from losing Peter. You believe losing me, too, seems abhorrent to you, but I’m a call away. If you need me any time, any day, all you have to do is pick up the phone. My decision will benefit you in the long run, Gisele. You’ll thank me someday. You might not see it now, but you will.”

Gisele vehemently shook her head, making a few strands of her blond locks slide out of the loosened bun. She opposed, leaning her forehead against mine. Though her eyes were closed, there were no tears shed. However, I had an inkling that they would come soon enough. “Why can’t we just go back to how it was, Jared? I won’t sleep naked anymore.” She made an inaudible whisper, barely to be heard from the loud thumping, vibrating sound in my ears.

Her closeness did all sorts of maddening things to me, none of them good. There was a reason to fear the safety of my sanity and my heart. Life with Gisele was unpredictable, and that put me off kilter. Everything I held dear and proudly protected against the world would all be vulnerable.

“You can go back to Rose to satiate your sexual appetite, and you come home to me. Why can’t we just go back to that?” She delivered her speech with a straight face without batting an eyelash, serious as a heart attack.

If only it were that easy… “You can go back, butI can’t, Gisele. I won’t be able to do that. I want you too fucking much. I’m in pain.”

She made a loud gasp upon hearing my unabashed admission.