Page 219 of Falling for the Wife

“And Gian Luca was a gift, a beautiful blessing, so please don’t see him as an exchange for anything else. Your brother wouldn’t be happy that you’re thinking of such things. And I know nothing I tell you will help at all, but at least know that he’s in a peaceful place without pain. He’s free from the physical constraints that held him down all his life.”

She shook her head, as if what I had just told her were lies. “I should’ve done more, but I didn’t, because I was too preoccupied with the drama of my own making, and I will never forgive myself for that. Never.”

She was adamant in her belief of the lies she had fed herself. Maybe, once everything registered and she’d had time to cope with the loss, she would come around. For now, no matter what I told her, it would not make a difference.

“I love you. The more you hate yourself, I’ll simply pour more love into you. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you whenever you need me.”

After making sure she had cried her eyes away and she had fallen asleep in my arms, I gently scooped her soft body into my arms and situated her on the bed.

While she slept, I stood there, looking down at her tearstained cheeks and swollen eyes, feeling so utterly useless. I wasn’t sure how we would be able to get through this, but we would. What she needed most was security and the knowledge that she had someone on her side.

Death was tragic. But in the most peculiar way, it brought back perspective about how much one should truly appreciate and live life without regrets. One never knew when their time was at an end.

After leaving her room, I immediately went into the nursery where the nanny was in the rocking chair, feeding the little fella. She was a nice British woman who didn’t hesitate to say her condolences when she spotted me.

“Grazie …” I thanked her before striding towards where my son was being fed by a bottle. “I’ll take it from here.”

The nanny didn’t hesitate to carefully get up and gently lay the baby in my arms. Gian Luca was swaddled in green plush cloth that unmistakably brought out his eyes—my eyes. Emerald green eyes. Although they had that hint of cloudiness around them as if the pigmentation hadn’t been decided just yet, I knew in my heart my son would definitely take after me. My Italian genes were strong, so I didn’t doubt my DNA would fight its way to victory. It was how we were made, and I couldn’t be more proud of it.

The baby was a blessing. To even consider something else was abominable.

Gian Luca was a fervent eater. The little man barely paused to breathe before getting back to business. Watching him gave me such unconditional euphoria. Everything he did was beautiful in my eyes. This feeling couldn’t compare to anything else, so even if my heart was heavy, I put on a smile for my son and sang him a lullaby.

With him … I found peaceful silence.

Sette

“She’s gone through a lot. Post-partum depression can happen when you least expect it, and after experiencing losing a loved one, I guess that pushed the condition forward.”

Post-partum depression?“Is there a cure for this …condition?” I hadn’t been aware there was such a thing, and I felt undoubtedly unprepared for this.

Was her life in danger? I had all these questions, yet I couldn’t coherently say them aloud for some reason.

This was all surreal.

“I believe time is the best healer, but I can also prescribe some medication that might alleviate most of the symptoms if that’s something you both want.” The doctor gave me an apprehensive look. “May I kindly suggest something, Signore di Medici?”

“Yes.” There was no need to be coy. This was her welfare, and I wanted the best for her. So if he had better alternatives than drugs, I would take them.

“A lot of women who are left to their own devices tend to fall into depression. The things I’ve noted are better dealt with when the person is surrounded by friends and family. Large families, like we Italians, don’t normally deal with such conditions particularly, because we’re always having gatherings and family dinners. And I’m not saying this could be the cure, but it could help, along with plenty of sleep. She’ll be back to her normal state before you know it.”

Nodding, I took a hefty lungful of air. “I’ll surely take that into consideration.” At this point, I had to think of things that would keep her occupied as well as give her time to heal her body, mind, and soul. Having a baby wasn’t a simple process for a woman to go through; that was for sure.

After ushering the doctor out, I personally tended to my son and his voracious appetite. He was the first thing I checked on in the morning before waking Kimberly up. Some days, she would wake and send me a wan smile before resorting back to sleep. I normally spent my hours in the library, handling business; spent lunchtime with Kimberly if she were up to it; spent an hour with Gian Luca; and then headed back to the library to work. Then there was dinner with Kimberly, checking in on Gian Luca, and sometimes, when I had enough time, I would sneak in a few more hours of work before calling it a night.

It had now been several weeks since Kimberly’s brother’s funeral, and it was about the same length of time I had been keeping this tight schedule. I wasn’t complaining at all—far from it. Gian Luca needed me just as much Kimberly did, and I had vowed never to neglect either of them. Whatever they needed, I would deliver at all costs.

Sometimes, I ended up sleeping in the nursery, taking over for the nanny and making sure the baby was okay. Kimberly didn’t want to pump milk, so I had to go to formula.

I knew I didn’t have to do any of this because of the nanny, but I believed a child should have one parent to tend to them, if not both, especially at this delicate stage. Gian Luca’s memory might not be developed just yet, but I was sure he knew his parents’ smell and warmth, and I didn’t want him to feel abandoned since Kimberly barely checked on him any longer. Although it was beyond sad, I kept telling myself that this too would pass. It was a temporary state of mind, one I was hoping wouldn’t last years.

One of the things I hoped would cheer her up was that I had spoken to her father. Since he had been renting out an apartment and the villa had a lot of unused bedrooms, I had suggested he live with us for as long as we wanted. As the doctor had suggested, having family around could be vital to her mental health. Besides, not only would it benefit Kimberly, but it would also be great to have him around Gian Luca.

Sparing her father the hassle of packing, I had Gino tend to that so he didn’t have to lift a finger at all. His bedroom suite should be ready upon his arrival around dinnertime tonight. This was a surprise for Kim.

It was after feeding Gian Luca that afternoon while I was on my way back to work in the library when I was informed my father was in the living room, waiting to see me.

Besides sending flowers to Kimberly after her brother’s loss and a few phone calls asking about Gian Luca, I hadn’t seen him since his last visit. As a result, this impromptu showing placed a massive smile on my face.