Page 196 of Falling for the Wife

The past didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter.

Not breaking eye contact, I cleared my throat, hoping I wouldn’t break down before him. “I was merely stating that you had women on the side. It’s confusing for me because you’re acting as if I was the only at fault here. I was basically one of many, so for you to act as if I was the love of your life is ludicrous.”

“Youwerethe love of my life!” he roared, his eyes clashing against mine, penetrating into my soul, my existence. “You still are …” Green jewels sparkled before me, impassioned.

I remained unmoved as I drew in shallow breaths, taking in the powerful, beautiful man who had just declared how much he loved me.

“You never gave me a chance. You could’ve confronted me about that kiss with Grazia, and I would’ve told you what happened, but instead, you chose to drop everything with me and marry someone else.” Everything he was feeling compounded into one look as he gazed into me with love in his eyes. “I’m not going to lie, my feelings for you were scaring me, but I had never once considered leaving you.”

No matter how much I tried to hide from the past, it still haunted me. Question after question remained unanswered as I recalled the early days between us, the final days culminating in our demise, and the few reasons that had made me decide to leave one of Italy’s beloved playboys behind.

“What happened with her, Luca? What was that trip to Grazia about?”

“She and I had a complicated relationship, but that trip was specifically for her to get some much needed help. Leaving you then was a hardship; however, I felt obligated to do something for her. She tends to always seek drugs and alcohol whenever she feels as though no one pays attention to her. I didn’t see her to go back to her in that sense; I was there to help. It was all platonic, but I suppose it doesn’t matter now. What happened in the past can’t be undone.”

There was something significant about his tone and stature that made my heart constrict to the point where it was becoming hard to breathe. He looked so lost, so hurt and broken, and I had no idea how to take the pain away.

I loved him, even after things had fallen apart between us. Regardless, bigger things were in play.

Sometimes, real life came knocking hard on your door and made you realize love wasn’t enough to survive on. Sometimes, you had to make life-altering choices for the benefit of everyone. At certain critical times, you had to stand by that decision, even when it tore at your soul, draining the life out of you.

Cinque

LUCA

Glassy-eyed with unshed tears, Kimberly gave me the most heartbreaking of faces I had ever seen from her, stripped bare from all of her defenses, her resistance. It was full of immense fragility and innocence.

“You must understand … everything that happened between us … It was real,” she uttered in an unsteady voice. “I’ll always cherish those memories … I will never forget it, nor will I be able to forget you, Luca.” She sniffed while using a melancholy tone. “I’m sorry you’re hurting so much, but there’s nothing I can do to remedy it, not in the way you want or picture.”

Something snapped inside of me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it felt lethal, destructive, and utterly reckless. Her sad story gutted me alive, yet what she had done was far worse. Moreover, no matter how she painted it, no matter how she admitted guilt, nothing lessened the poison that had tainted my mind, my heart, my life. It was all ruined. Everything was shattered.

“Shut the fuck up,” I said gruffly before shutting down my brain and letting everything go as my lips sought refuge in her kiss, her warmth, and the simple need to hold her in my arms for the time being.

Fuck the bloody world. Fuck the consequences. I was just going to live with right now, with this very moment. Her and I … and no one else in between.

“I love you …” I cupped her face before once more kissing her senseless. “Forgive me …” My eyes scanned hers. Back and forth, they went.

Each breath I took, each thud of my heart, it all lived for her and the life growing inside of her stomach. Our child—my family.

Gazing at her fragile form, my eyes lingered on her lips before they travelled towards her tear-filled eyes. “But I can’t help myself …” I trailed off, feeling at a loss for words as my eyes relayed what I was feeling, how I was feeling. It vibrated off her, the connection so palpable. Undeniable.

Right then and there, I realized one thing: if there was something in this world that would make me a better man, it was her, the love of my life. Her laughter was my glimmer of hope. Her innocence gave me faith in the future. Her love brought light into the very lonely, guarded life I led. She was the cure in the maddening circus that was my life.

“Luca …” she whispered hesitantly, heavily drugged by the kiss we had shared.

“Per favore… Don’t think … Stop thinking and let it happen,” I roughly demanded without leaving her lips because I was too afraid it might give her time to think. I simply wanted for us to feel each other and the type of magic we weaved together, beautiful and perfervid. “Let me love you, amore.”

With pure determination, my mind shut down as my body took over, taking charge of the situation, filling my senses at full throttle.

My loins were on fire as my nostrils took her in, breathing her scent as if she was the most beautiful, fragrant thing I had ever beheld. Seeking her, my hands went past her breasts, heading downwards before landing on her prized possession, leaving me even more breathless, speechless.

A heavy lump lodged in the back of my throat, noting the form that shaped her body to accommodate another life. Her tiny baby bump made her all the sexier in my eyes. My gaze hadn’t graced such loveliness such as this—seeing the woman I loved blossom into motherhood. It was the most precious thing to see, to feel, and it took the wind out of me.

“My baby …” I whispered, leaving a soft kiss on her heated skin.

If I had considered myself possessive with her before, I should think again. The emotions that ran amuck inside of me were stupefying. However, despite it overwhelming me, I felt humbled, honored even.

I wanted to devour her, yet at the same time, I was careful not to hurt her. It was a combination of pure torment and awe, and when I heard her sigh—the melodious sound of complete surrender—I didn’t hesitate for a second.