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“She’s got her own date. She’ll be fine. You should be more worried about Josie. Think she’ll be mad that we ditched the party?”
“She might be, but I’ll make it up to her. She’s probably occupied with her date, anyway.”
“How did it feel to be my date? Rocked, didn't it?”
“Get over yourself.” She rolls her eyes as her shoulders quake. “I still find it hard to believe she’s your cousin. She seemed into you.”
When I arch a brow, she adds. “Trust me, I can tell when a girl’s into a guy.”
“Well, not Mandy. She’s a natural flirt, and we’ve hung out a lot in the past. Besides, I’m still not into her, and I wouldn’t be, even if she wasn’t related to me. I’m not into anyone at the moment, except you.”
The last bit of my sentence isn’t meant for her ears, but there’s no taking back the words as soon as they leave my lips.
“Yeah, right,” Nelly answers with an icy drip of sarcasm that shows her resistance. “You’re not into me,” she continues. “Why would you be? I’ve known you for how many years now? And not once have you noticed me.”
“Are you kidding?” She arches a brow, and this time I don’t resist the urge to stroke her cheek. “No red-blooded man wouldn’t notice you. You’re beautiful, Nelly. You know that.”
“Then you knew I had feelings for you?” She questions, and her words knock the air out of my lungs, leaving me with a deep gasp.
“Five years ago,” she continues. “I was going to tell you the night before your trip to New York with Tom. We’ve been flirting for weeks, and I thought that you liked me too because … it felt like it. You were with someone else that night at the restaurant, kissing, and I just …” she trails off, and the look in her eyes makes my heart sink. “I walked away.”
It would be a lie if I said I had no idea, so I press my lips together and avert my eyes from hers. Flirting with Nelly back then was spontaneous. She drew me in like no woman ever had.
Not even Julia.
A woman like Nelly deserved more than what I was willing to give at the time.More than I am still willing to give.
She deserves happy ever afters and romance with the promise of a future.
I am too broken to give her any of that.
After Julia, I made a vow to never fall in love again. I can’t let myself be that vulnerable to anyone and I can’t get hurt like that ever again.
It’s why I ignored whatever Nelly made me feel back then, and why I still need to fight how she still makes me feel.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper to her in a hoarse voice. “I was hurt back then, Nelly, and I couldn’t … It was never going to work out between us.”
“I know that,” she answers with a laugh. “You have your … Desires,” she adds. “I now know that you’re not the kind of guy who can settle for one woman. The more the merrier, right?”
Her words sting, but I force on a smile. It’s easier if Nelly thinks of me as the kind of guy who can’t be faithful to relationships. That way, the walls between us stay up and the struggle will be easier.
“It’s the past, though,” Nelly says now and punches my arm playfully. “Don’t let things get weird because of what I just said. I moved on by dating a few other guys, and that’s that. I don’t have any feelings whatsoever for you anymore.”
Her smile is believable, and I lighten the mood with a chuckle of my own. “We should get out of here before the sun starts to set.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, and I get on my feet before extending a hand to assist her. Nelly ignores my hand and rises to her feet on her own.
She sways, and nearly staggers back, but I swoop my hands around her waist to keep her steady and close.
Her breath hitches when her chest presses into mine, her eyes widen, and the surrounding air tightens with a jolt of electricity that I feel all the way down to my bones.
My head pounds with a logical warning to let her go, but my hands refuse to listen. Nelly doesn’t pull away from me, and her lips stay parted in anticipation while her cheeks flush.
The deep scarlet shade there shows her passion. I want to kiss her lips and indulge in the sweetness it has to offer. The roar of my blood intrudes on the rest of my reasoning and I’m lost.
Thankfully, a gust of wind blasts against us and sends a chill right through me. It snaps me back to reality and reminds me of everything my brain tries to process.
We jerk away from each other, and she turns away, plastering both her hands on her cheeks. When she clears her throat and smooths her hands over her neck, I notice her trembling fingers.