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I never meant to hurt her, but I had to.Pushing Gracie away protects us both from unnecessary heartbreak. I know this.So why do I keep looking at her?Why does she stir this innate longing deep inside me?
It’s like I can’t control myself, and I clear my throat, hoping to get her attention, to no avail. “I like to run a tight ship, and so the next time you two waltz in here like you own the place, it’ll be your last day. Got it?”
“Yes, sir,” the sales reps chorus.
“Thank you. I hope we have a good time working together!”
I dismiss them and smile at Natalie when I catch her eyes on me. Having women glancing at me all the time is nothing new. “Can I get a cup of espresso?” I ask her.
“Coming right up, boss,” she answers with a wide grin.
“Please … it’s Trevor,” I tell her, and I notice Gracie glaring at us. My smile widens because I finally have her attention. I find her frown cute and those tiny crease lines on her forehead are even cuter.
Natalie scurries away, and Gracie focuses on the books she’s reshelving. After replacing the stack of books in a carton next to her, she moves to another section of the shelf and tries reaching its top for another book.
I walk over to her and reach the book with ease. Gracie turns towards me and lifts her chin to look at me. “Thanks,” she murmurs, licking her lips.
I’m intensely drawn to her, and the scent of lilies that clings to her teases my senses, making me lean closer. I remind myself of all the reasons I should stay away from her.
Gracie is too much for me … too many emotions, too many feelings.She makes me experience sensations I had never expected to feel for any woman.
“Espressos are really strong,” she says as I step away from her, putting a safe distance between us so I don’t lose my mind.
“What?”
“You ordered an espresso,” she continues, those wide, innocent eyes on mine. “You’re not the kind to take strong coffee, and our espressos are really strong. Besides, you have a sweet tooth. You should go for a creamy mocha latte instead. I recommend that to customers who want something on the sweet side.”
I know espressos are the tough stuff, but I opt for it anyway because I need an extra caffeine boost to get me out of the daze I’ve been in since I walked in here yesterday.
I don’t say these things to Gracie, though, because I love her honest concern. “Will you sit and share a latte with me?”
“No way!” she snaps, then clutches the book she’s holding to her chest. “I’m staying as far away from you as possible, Trevor.”
“Why?” I can’t help my light chuckle because I love our banter. I have always loved it. Gracie is the only woman who has ever stimulated me this way.
“Does it have something to do with the fact that you’re excited to have me back in Golden Bay?”
Her cold laugh holds a sarcastic bite. “You haven’t changed. Cockiness isn’t that attractive, Trevor.”
“Really?” I glance at the coffee counter and find two girls waiting, glancing at us and blushing at me. “They beg to differ.”
Gracie rolls her eyes while my amused smile widens. “They don’t know you like I do. If they did, they’d realize you’re a cocky guy who thinks he can charm his way into anything and make anyone forget all about how he hurt them!”’
Her outburst attracts attention, and I know that wasn’t her intention when she turns pale immediately. Her eyes widen, and she nibbles on her lower lip.
“Forget I said that,” she murmurs and lowers her head. “I meant ...”
“I know what you meant, Gracie. You have every right to be pissed at me for what I did six years ago.”
She shakes her head as my regret overshadows every other feeling and leaves me with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Gracie will not believe this, but I spent many nights thinking about why I lied to her that night.
I’ve also wondered if my life would have turned out differently with her. But these were mere thoughts because I could not let myself want her.
Do I regret it?No! I would do it again to protect her from a man like me. Gracie deserves sunshine and happiness. The kind of man who would love her and never feel guilty about it.
The kind of man not damaged by his past demons.
I can’t give Gracie the life she wants. Seeing the flicker of hurt in her eyes reminds me of that. My heart is a battleground of sorrow and remorse. The turbulent storms deep within leave me with an unsettling feeling in my soul.