Page 144

He bursts into laughter that makes his eyes twinkle, and his brows shoot up to his hairline before he cocks his head to oneside. “Your company,” he finally says, and his words make me suck in a deep breath. “I’ll miss having you around the most. It doesn’t matter if we’re just sitting quietly, or if you’re scolding me, or being cute. I’ll just miss everything about you, Gracie. That’s the truth. Sometimes, I wish this wasn’t a farce. I wish you could stay here with me like this always.”
His words make me forget why things are different. “What if we could change that?” I whisper without thinking, and the remaining flicker of his smile disappears.
“Gracie …” he mumbles in a shaky voice. A shadow crosses his features before he looks away from me and then shakes his head softly.
“I know what you think, Trevor,” I continue, my heart in my throat. I shove my seat back and walk over to touch his chin. “But we have a chance here, and I think we’ll be good together. It’ll be just you and me. Nothing else would matter but the two of us. We’ll take each day as it comes, and who knows, it might just be the best thing that’s happened to you in a while.”
“And what happens if it doesn’t work out? What happens when either of us wants out? I could never hurt you like that, Gracie, and I don’t think I’d survive if you hurt me like that.”
“But we don’t know that we will,” I insist with a shaky smile. Tears shimmer in my eyes and blur my vision. It matches the reflection in his, but he still looks away from me.
“You’re too good for me,” he concludes before pushing back his seat. “With everything that has been happening in the media, your privacy is at stake and things could get messy and I … I can’t put you through any more of that.”
Trevor leaves the kitchen, and the ache in my chest threatens to swallow me whole. Right then, I realize there’s no hope.
Trevor will never change his mind or give us a chance, and shutting out my feelings for him is the best option.
For both our sakes.
***
I spent most of the next day focused on my book. The fourteenth chapter should have been the turning point between the lovers in my story, but somehow, I’m stuck.
What happens next? Does love win, or do these two need more time to figure out what they want?
I didn’t base my characters on me and Trevor, but they are starting to feel a lot like us, and I don’t know what to do.
Every part of me wants them to give love a chance, but I’m torn. The voice in my head insists that taking a step back is the best thing to do.
If Trevor’s never going to want me, then I should let him go, right?
I’m still lost in thought when my phone starts buzzing. I smile when I realize it’s a video call from Natalie.
“Hey, you,” she greets, then shows me around her surroundings. “You’re missing out on a lot, Gracie. The bookstore is swamped with customers every day of the week. Someone posted an article saying that Trevor Hawkin’s wife works here, and we have many basketball fans coming in hoping they can meet you.”
“That’s crazy,” I comment and join in her laugh.
We quiet down after some time, and then she asks, “How are you holding up? I see you two on television, and I can’t help but think, damn, they look perfect together. You two aren’t a thing yet, are you? It feels like he has eyes only for you.”
I chuckle quietly and recall Trevor’s eyes on me each time we’re out in public or giving an interview.Why does his eyes say one thing and his lips say another?
I sense he wants me from the way he looks at me, but he’s never going to let himself feel that.
“We aren’t,” I admit to Natalie, and her smile falters.
“And that’s a good thing, remember?” she reminds me. “Trevor’s not the kind of guy you want to fall for, right?”
I know she’s going to say he’s like candy, and that all I need is a taste of him, but to me, he’s not. Somewhere among the glitz and glamor of Trevor’s superstar life, there’s still the boy I knew.
There’s still a kid who’s hurt, too. One who needs love to heal.I desperately wish he would let me in, but knowing Trevor, I also know it might never happen.
“Yeah well,” I say to my friend. “It’s a good thing.”
“Good,” she says with a smile, then grins again. “Because I’d hate to see you get hurt, Gracie.”
After ending the call with Natalie, I decide to find Trevor, as I haven’t seen him all day.
I approach the door to his home gym and overhear the whisper of voices coming from inside that make me freeze.