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The madness lasts a second before she pushes against my chest and staggers away from me. Her hand moves to her lips, and she lifts her quivering gaze to me.
“This is it, Gracie … This is why I can’t have you here. I want you so much it’s driving me insane, and I can’t … I can’t let myself … I just can’t.”
She’s quiet as she stares at me with tears in her eyes, then she presses her lips together. “You’re gonna regret this,” she whispers a second after I lower my chin to avoid her gaze. “I’ll leave, Trevor, but you’re gonna regret this, and it might be too late when you do. I’m not going to wait around for you forever.”
She heads into her room and closes the door. A hollow feeling sinks deep in my chest. This should be a relief, but for reasons I don’t understand, the air around me becomes thick with the weight of my loss, and I have a deep feeling it’ll never change.
***
Zane drives Gracie to the airport the next morning, and we don’t even say goodbye before she leaves. I’m in my living room tryingto enjoy the recap of last night’s soccer game, but the silence in the air torments me, and I can’t bear it.
It’ll pass after a few days.When I first left Golden Bay, I thought about her all the time. Not a single day passed without me missing her, but I got over it in the end. I’m sure it’ll be the same thing this time.
My doorbell rings later that day, and I expect to see Zane on the other side when I limp over to open it.
“You’re in so much trouble,” Jace says, and he flashes the bottle he’s holding at me.
“What are you doing here?” I question once I let him in. We haven’t spoken since the last time we fought in Golden Bay, and this is the longest we haven’t spoken since we first became friends in high school.
“You screwed up,didn’t you? That’s why Gracie left.”
It’s not Jace’s first time visiting me in New York, and so he leads the way to my kitchen while I limp behind him. “It’s better that way.”
Jace arches a brow when he turns to me. “Yeah right. What did you do?”
I don’t answer him at first. Jace will only freak out if I tell him the thoughts running through my mind.
“It’s not important,” I say to him instead. “What matters is that you were right. I shouldn’t have dragged Gracie into my mess. I made her leave. She doesn’t belong here.”
Jace doesn’t reply, and I nudge towards the drink in his hand. “Pour me some of that, will you?”
“Isn’t it too early for that?” he questions, eyeing me suspiciously.
“You brought it though,” I retort, hating the ache in my heart and the lump thickening in my throat, making it difficult for me to say anything.
Jace finally pours some and slides me the glass before filling his.
“What happened? Why did you fly all the way out here without calling me first?”
“Thought I’d talk to my best friend,” he shrugs. “I missed you and figured with all that’s happened over the past few weeks, we should talk.”
I lick the droplets of brandy off my lips after taking a sip, and Jace delivers the final blow with his words. “We should talk about Gracie, and what you’re going to do about your feelings for her.”
“What feelings? What are you talking about?”
I set my glass on the table and clear my throat to hide the huskiness in my voice.
“Cut the crap, Trevor. We’ve been friends a long time, and I’m done pretending I don’t see the way you look at her. You two have been in the media a lot these days, and it’s clear that you have feelings for her. The only ones who don’t know Trevor is into Gracie are Trevor and Gracie. The entire world is raving about you two and what, you just let her go home?”
“What does it matter?” I eye Jace suspiciously. “I thought you were against it anyway, so what’s your deal?”
“I’m against you hurting my sister, Trev,” he answers. “And let’s face it, you don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to women. You have a new date twice a week, and Gracie’s not that kind of girl …”
My dry chuckle stops him from saying anything else, and my lips twist as I say. “Trust me, I know what kind of girl Gracie is.”That’s what makes this so difficult in the first place.
“Trevor …”
“Can we talk about something else, please?” I snap. “I made a mistake, okay? I shouldn’t have brought her to New York to help with my stupid plan when I knew very well that I wanted her. I should have stayed away. I screwed up and ruined things, and now she probably doesn’t want to ever see me again. I know all of that, okay?”