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“I did,” he answers in the same edgy tone. “I meant every word, Gracie, because it’s the truth. Love only exists in fantasies and the books you write. In the real world, when you love someone, they hurt you. They cheat till you’re broken or try to control you and beat the living daylights out of you when you refuse to do what they want.”
Tears form in his eyes as he speaks, and he lets out a pained sigh before backing away from me. “My father beat my mother so badly that sometimes she couldn’t see when she ended up in the hospital. He was never faithful, he never cared about me or her … and when he finally left, I thought it would be better. She was too broken to even realize she was wasting away in his absence. She loved him that much, Gracie. She loved him to death, and it ruined her!”
He took a deep breath and watching his expression crumble as he withdrew from me sent a searing ache right through my chest.
I move toward him without hesitating, wanting to only comfort him.
“Trevor …”
“I never talk about this,” he says as he squeezes his eyes shut and lets out another deep breath. “Jace’s the only one who knows about this. He knows me better than anyone. He knows why I’ve vowed to never let myself love anyone and be weak.”
My arms wrap around his body before he can withdraw from me completely. Trevor stiffens as I envelop him in a warm hug. I smooth a hand down his back to comfort him.
“Love doesn’t make you weak, Trevor,” I murmur as I pat his back. “It makes you stronger.”
“I can’t ever go through that, Gracie,” he murmurs against my neck as I hold him close.
This insight into his soul helps me understand him better, and in that moment, there’s nothing I can say to Trevor. So, I hold him tight against me and savor the warmth of being in his arms.
***
Later that night, after dinner, Trevor and his boys are hanging out in the living room while I get on a video call with Natalie. Her eyes sparkle with excitement, and she’s grinning wide the entire time as she grills me about New York.
“The entire town’s raving about you two. They say you’ve been in a secret relationship with the basketball star for years, and thepaparazzi won’t stop dropping by to take pictures of Espresso Books.”
“How’s the shop doing?” I haven’t had the time to worry about the bookstore in the past week, and I’m hopeful that Natalie will keep things running in my absence.
“We’ve had way more sales in the past week than we’ve had in years, Gracie. Everyone’s suddenly interested in our coffee and books. Guess what? Jace’s back in town for the weekend, and he’s thinking of hiring a new manager. Did he tell you about it? I put him in charge of the store to handle things, and he can’t be there all the time, so he needs someone to keep an eye on things.”
I shake my head as a sinking feeling weighs on my heart. My brother and I haven’t spoken since our last argument at the bookstore. Jace is angry at my decision to help with Trevor's ruse.
“He’s always been protective of you,” Natalie answers with a light chuckle. “He’s probably worried that you’d run off into the big city and fall for the jock while forgetting that all of this is fake and it’s not going to last.”
Natalie’s laughing while speaking, but her words are so true that they leave an unsettling feeling in my gut.
She notices my silence and arches a suspicious brow. “No way,” she gasps, her eyes widening into round saucers.
“What?”
“Oh my … You’re falling for him!” she squeals.
Heat flushes down my neck and steals my breath away with a force that I’ve never felt. “Don’t be silly, I’m not,” I deny fervently, shaking my head to prove my point. “Trevor’s a friend in need and nothing more.”
“Yeah right,” she says. “That flush on your cheek tells me otherwise, Gracie. Have you two kissed yet? How steamy have things gotten between you two?” She starts making smooching sounds with her lips, and I burst into laughter before she settles down again.
“Don’t fall for him, Gracie,” Natalie says after some time. She sounds more solemn now, and the look in her eyes is serious. “He’s not the kind of guy you fall for. He’s just like candy. You have a bite and let go because you can never get enough, even though it’s bad for you.”
“I know,” I say to my best friend with a sigh that renews the hollow depth in my heart. “That’s what makes this so hard.”
My smile turns wistful as I replay Trevor’s earlier outburst in my mind. All I knew about his parents before now was that his dad left when he was thirteen, and his mom was rarely ever around to care for him.
I suspected in the past that he’d been hurt before, but I could never have imagined that his wounds ran so deep.
Deep enough to make him swear off love forever.
Chapter 12
Trevor