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Cole smiled at me. “We make a pretty good team, don’t you think?”
I grinned back. “I sure do.” I could feel the hope rising in my chest, that pesky weed that cropped up regardless of its surroundings. Mentally, I plucked it. It was time to keep my eye on the ball.The balls.
I had work to do, not the least of which was helping my best friend.
The private planewas impressively luxurious, of course. The chairs were wide and comfortable-looking, with plenty of space to spread out. We followed a stiff-looking James and Audrey to the back of the plane, and I sighed in relief that we had a few rows to ourselves. I was psyched to get away from Celia Preston.
We flopped down across the aisle from Audrey and James. I stared at my friend, but she was avoiding me. She probably didn’t want to talk, but too bad. That’s what friends did.
“Where’d you run off to last night?” I asked. “We had to watch James drown his sorrows in about ten bourbons.”
“I had a thing,” she said, that same strained smile on her face.
I frowned at Audrey and then turned to James. “Hey, James. Wanna switch seats for a minute?” He nodded, gratefully sliding in next to Cole, who punched him on the arm in greeting.
I turned to Audrey as the flight attendant went through the safety presentation. “What’s the matter with you two?” I whispered.
She leaned over to check that James and Cole couldn’t hear us; they were deep in conversation. “A lot,” she said. She looked miserable. “I’m thinking I just need to be his escort. No more feelings. It’s too messy. There’s too much at stake.”
I raised my eyebrows. “He was a mess last night at the reception, Dre. Seriously. He was miserable without you.” Cole had told me how many bourbons James had banged through just at the start of the reception. “And he still looks like that today—like he has an emotional hangover. You need to make that right.”
She started fussing with her outfit, a nervous habit. “I don’t know if I can do that, Jenny.”
“Dre.” I waited until she looked up and met my eyes. “Don’t you try to fool me. I know you have bona fide feelings for that man.”
Audrey raised her chin, looking defiant. “I thought you said thoughts and feelings were invisible, Jenny. No one’s supposed to be able to see them.”
“They’re not invisible when they’re written all over your face,” I snapped.
We just looked at each other for a beat.
“I’m trying to do the right thing,” she said. “For both James and me.”
“Did you talk to him about how you’re feeling? Did he tell you whathewants?” I asked.
She shook her head. “He tried to. But honestly, I don’t want to know. Because no matter what he says, I know I’m not the best thing for him.”
I squeezed her arm. “You’re such a good person—one of the best people I know. When’re you going to give yourself a chance?”
“A chance for what?” she asked miserably.
“To be happy,” I said.
“Iamhappy. At least I know what it feels like now,” she mumbled.
I frowned at her again. “If you love him—and I’m guessing that’s what you mean—you’ve got to give him a chance,” I said.
“I can’t, Jenny.” Audrey looked like she might start crying. “I’m just trying to keep this from going from bad to worse. Bad is where I’m at. I love him, and he’s totally out of my league. His mother hates me, and she’ll never accept me into their family. My mother’s already tried to blackmail him. That’s why she came to the wedding. It’s not like we’re ever going to be one big, happy family.”
She took a deep breath. “And it could get so much worse—that’s why I don’t even want to know how he feels. What if he loves me back, huh? It’ll never work out and that would break my heart. Or what if hedoesn’tlove me back? Thenthatwouldbreak my fucking heart. You get it?”
“I get it,” I sighed. “But you gotta stop this overthinking. And you gotta let him have a say. Otherwise you’ll never find out.”
“Find out what?” she asked.
“Who heis, Dre.” I patted her hand. “If you don’t let him tell you how he feels about you, you’ll never get a chance to know. And that might seem safe and perfect in that little airtight container that you’re trying to create for yourself, but it’s not right.
“I know you. You want everything in order. You want to take care of Tommy and keep your mom out of trouble and keep James up on a pedestal. But that little airtight container’s not big enough for you, girl. It’s not big enough for you to have alife.”