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Audrey hugged me hard. And did I imagine it, or were her tears leaking into my curls?
“I do know, Jenny,” she said, “I sure do.”
Two hours later,I was at the airport waiting for my flight.
I’m waiting for my update, Lewis Bryson texted me.
I don’t have one for you,I furiously typed back.So you can go die in a hole.I hit send before I chickened out.
Cole’s father responded immediately.By the time I’m through with you, you will know what being sorry really feels like.
They called my flight. Relieved, I shut my phone off.
The devil had my number, but the one person I wanted to hear from would never call me again.
COLE
I was on the plane,halfway back to Boston, but my heart still pounded like I’d just finished a harsh workout. I’d put space between Jenny and me, but I didn’t feel any better. I felt worse.
Was she safe? What would my father do to her once he realized that I’d discovered her transgression and that he wouldn’t get what he wanted? What was the price Jenny would pay for her incompetence?
Guilt flooded me.I shouldn’t have left.But at the time, there seemed to be no other choice. I knew what they called it—fight-or-flight. I’d read about it on some psychology website. So I could have fought with Jenny, but I chose to run.
Now that I was alone, my heart still pounding, things shifted in my thoughts.
I’ve been so angry at Jenny. I felt so violated when I saw her on my phone. And when I realized she was working on behalf of my father, I literally felt my heart split in two. The woman I loved was going behind my back with a man I loathed—the man who was trying to run my life and simultaneously destroy it.
How had I been so blind? That she’d even mentioned closing my deal the day before was a huge red flag. I’d chosen to ignore it. I’ve been so naïve. I would never in a million years haveguessed that Jenny was speaking to my father behind my back. It made me sick to think about him having contact with her.
He sunk to a level I hadn’t known him capable of. And as soon as I realized Jenny had gone behind my back and was talking to him, I felt the same way about her. She wasn’t trustworthy enough to be in my life.
But maybe, now that I had a little space, I hadn’t exactly been fair. My father was a billionaire. More importantly, he was excruciating to deal with. He typically stopped at nothing in his negotiations. He had threatened her, and when she’d tried to talk to me about it, I turned on her, too. I’d left her crying in the hallway, in her bare feet and a crumpled T-shirt. I was so cold to her. If Jenny never forgave me, I would understand.
I didn’t think I’d be able to forgive myself.
I expected integrity from those around me. I demanded it. And I hadn’t wanted to get close to someone for so long because I genuinely didn’t believe I could ever trust anyone. I didn’t think I would ever be able to trust that someone wanted me for me, even though I was awesome.
It was the money. Money was a blessing, but it was also a curse.
How would I ever know that a woman I was involved with was more concerned with my bank account than anything else? Things were different with Jenny because our relationship began as a business deal. When it grew into something more, it felt genuine. I opened myself up to a relationship for the first time.
But at the first sign of her disloyalty, I cut her off and shut her out. I truly believed you had to be honest to have a real, authentic connection. Now that I was having a real relationship for the first time in my life, this was something I truly believed. I didn’t want to be with Jenny if she wasn’t honest with me. But that didn’t mean I didn’t owe her the opportunity to defendherself. Honesty was a black-and-white issue, for sure. But it was also true that people did bad things for good reasons. Jenny said she was protecting me. Before I threw her out with the trash, perhaps I should have listened to her side of the story.
I could do nothing while I was in the air, but once I landed, I needed to call my father. I should never have let him get to her. In the dim light of the cabin, I saw clearly for the first time that morning. I shouldn’t blame Jenny for what my father had done to her. He had money to burn—she was no match for him. And she’d said that he’d threatened to hurt me.
Jenny didn’t know my father well enough to gauge whether or not he was being serious. She’d done what she thought was right. Like she said, she did it to protect me.
And how had I repaid her? By shaming her. By running away.
By abandoning her.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men weren’t going to be able to put us back together again. So what the fuck was I going to do?
As soon as I landed, I picked up my phone. “Shirley,” I said, “I need your help.”
JENNY
The plane ridehome was the worst. All I could think about was Cole and his face when he left the resort.