Page 69

“I know, but I can’t even look at a sprint car without bursting into tears. And he’s the same way. He was literally shaking when we pulled up to the shop and couldn’t look at the motor home. He laughs and smiles, tries to act like it doesn’t bother him, but that was his dream and it was taken from him.”
I felt like fucking shit when she said that. I knew it wasn’t directed at me, or Rager, but still, it didn’t make me feel any better. We said our goodbyes after that. I offered to send Rosa over to help them but Caden insisted, or rather begged us not to.
“I wanna keep her,” Hayden said once we were in the car.
I checked my phone to see if I missed any calls from Rager. Nothing. “She’s not a pet, Hayden. We can’t keep her.”
Hayden scooped out the cookie crumbs from her bra. “Do you ever think about it?”
“About what?” I knew what she was talking about, but I didn’t want to think about it.
“Them dying? How quickly their career could end. I mean, it’s a miracle that Rager survived that one. You know?”
“I know. Believe me, I know. I’ve thought about it constantly since my grandpa died in one, but then again, you can’t think about it… if that makes sense.”
Hayden nodded. “I know.” Sighing, she reached for her sunglasses, staring at the track in the distance.
“What about you?”
“I… didn’t used to. Now I do and it’s scary. I’m not meant to be a single mom.”
I laughed. There was certainly some truth to it. If it hadn’t been for my parents through all this, there would be no way I could do this.
As we pulled out of the parking lot, Hayden stared at their apartment. “Do you think he can still have sex?”
I nearly choked on my own spit. “Why would you even think that?”
“Well,” she sighed, “I don’t know. You didn’t?”
“No, I didn’t. And I kinda hate you now because I’m curious.”
“Would it be inappropriate to text her and ask?”
“Yes, don’t do that.”
She held up her phone. “Too late. I already did.”
“Hayden,” I sighed. “You didn’t.”
“Actually, I asked if his camshaft still worked. Think she’ll know what you mean?”
It took me a second to catch onto what she said. “WhatImean?” I panicked. “What? Did you say I wanted to know?”
She grinned. “Oh, well, I didn’t want to ask so I sent it from your phone.”
“You fucking asshole. Are you serious?” I nearly swerved my car into the oncoming lanes. “You did not send that from my phone.” Ripping my phone from her hand, I stared at the text message. Yep. She sent it. Dropping my phone in the cup holder, I punched Hayden arm as hard as I could. “I hate you so much for that.”
She cringed, rubbing her arm. “Oh, relax. You’re being dramatic. I doubt she’s even going to know what I mean.”
We didn’t talk. For ten minutes. Until… my phone beeped. “Don’t you dare touch my phone,” I scolded when she reached for it.
“Then tell me what she said.”
“No.”
I wasn’t going to look. I was going to keep driving and ignore it for now. But then I caved and glanced at it.
“What’d she say?” Hayden asked, trying to peer at my phone.