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Axel leaned close in my ear, his voice shaking. “It’s bad” was all he said to me as we exchanged a look. Zac had his arms around Kinsley, trying to soothe her, but nothing was working. I knew I had to do something more for her.
I turned to Axel. “Get Lily and take the baby from Kinsley.” I reached for her, instinctively aware this was her first time in a position like this, and wrapped my arms around her. “My dad is going to get us to the hospital, and we’ll take it from there, okay?”
She nodded, her eyes so wide and tears falling, but no words. It was then it dawned on me while my entire family was here, Kinsley and Caden didn’t have that. They traveled by themselves with their baby. His mom lived in California and Kinsley’s parents in Oregon. They hadn’t seen them since the start of the season when we were on the West Coast. And now her phone call to them tonight wouldn’t be a “hey, he won again.”
Mom met us in the pits. “Hayden has the kids with her. We’ll keep them with us until we know more.”
Dad nodded to Mom. “I’m taking the girls with me and heading to the hospital.” The roar of the helicopters began to drown out his voice as he held my mom close to him, kissing her lips once. “I’ll keep you posted. Lane, Tommy!” Dad yelled. “Get the haulers out of here and back to the hotel.”
Everything burst to life around us at my dad’s voice. They loaded up the cars without another word and Dad took Kinsley and me into Dayton. Nothing was said the entire drive.
It was on the drive I realized that I had two responsibilities tonight. My husband, and my job. By the time we reached the hospital, both Rager and Caden were already being treated. We found out quickly that Rager was in surgery for a head trauma and Caden the same. The severity of either was unknown.
Immediately, a crowd had gathered outside the emergency room. Everyone wanted to know what was going on. I didn’t know what to say.
Between the drive and the arrival, I called Alley to see what I needed to do. “What do I say?” I hadn’t dealt with this yet and had no idea how to word any of it with the press. My entire body broke out in a cold sweat and I cried with tears of fear.
The last couple of weeks I’d been so caught up in not wanting to leave my kids or husband and fearing the worst that this was the last thing on my mind. And should have been in the forefront given on my husband’s career.
Alley drew in a calm breath. “You tell them that JAR Racings’ Rager Sweet, driver of the Solar Seals number ninety-nine, and Caden Carson, driver of the nineteen Carson Construction, are being treated at Miami Valley Hospital. They’re in stable but critical condition for their injuries sustained during a race at Eldora Speedway. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers and ask that you respect the privacy of their family during this time. We will update you when more information is available.”
I wrote down everything she said and typed up my press release.
“Stay calm, Arie,” Alley reminded me. “That’s all you can do in these situations. I’m on my way to Dayton.”
My voice shook. “Okay.”
For the next three hours, I talked to the press. I answered phone calls and relayed information to the track where everyone had been waiting on their conditions. It all happened in a blink of an eye and felt like it was moving quickly. In the private waiting room I was in, I glanced up when the door opened, my phone in one hand and tissues in the other.
Dad entered the room. He looked about the same—fear in his eyes and patience only he’d mastered over the years. “You should go talk to Kinsley.”
“Why?” My heart kicked hard in my chest. “What happened?”
“Caden’s out of surgery. Doesn’t look good. I’ll finish up with the press. Kinsley needs you.”
Kinsley needed me? My heart dropped to what felt like the floor. Immediately my mouth was dry, throat tight.No, please no. Don’t say he’s gone. Not Caden. God, please don’t take him from her. Not before their life even began.For seconds before the words came, I prayed.
I reached for his forearms. He held me steady as I stood and dropped my phone on the table. “What do you mean it doesn’t look good?”
Dad’s gaze shifted from the floor to mine. “He has a skull fracture,” he told me, drawing in a quick breath. “It’s relatively minor. They went in and got the bleed taken care of. His neck is fractured at C7, but he broke his back, completely shattered T5 and 6, ribs, collarbone….” His voice trailed off.
“Is he paralyzed?”
Dad nodded. “There’s damage to his spinal cord. He’s leaking spinal fluid at T5, but they won’t know the extent until the swelling goes down and he’s breathing on his own.”
There was some good news, but not what we’d hoped for. Of all the hundreds of scenarios we played out in our heads on the way here, at least this version he was alive and breathing.
Immediately my thoughts went to Rager, knowing my dad hadn’t said anything about him. There was a loud whooshing sound in my ears when I asked, “And Rager?”
Dad shrugged and ran his hand over his face. Stepping forward, he yanked me hard against his chest. I listened to his breathing and the sudden pounding of his heart when he whispered, “I haven’t heard anything yet, sweetheart.”
I didn’t realize until my dad wrapped his arms around me, how badly I needed that hug from him. We’d never been in this position together. When Grandpa died, Dad had been dying. When Jack died, I had kept my distance and dealt with the press. And now here we were, together, navigating the unknown.
I cried big fat ugly tears—tears that felt like they were never going to end when Dad held me closer. “I know this won’t mean much right now, but this is the race we’re in. It’s meant to be. You can’t change your finishing order. Every pit stop, every caution flag, every minute spent in the work area, and every lap led is for a reason.”
Holding on to him tighter than ever before, I sunk into my dad’s embrace, his shirt smelling of methanol. It took me a minute, probably with more effort than I needed to process those words. It hit me in the stomach. Like a punch. A blow I hadn’t prepared for. No matter what we did, it wouldn’t change what happened to Rager or Caden.
With my heart in my throat, I moved from the room to the third floor where Kinsley was with Caden. My eyes moved around the familiar dimly lit room. I’d seen my dad in a room like this, after a race, after tragedy and barely hanging on. I flashed back to him lying helplessly in the bed, hanging onto to what was left of his life while we worked through those caution laps.