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I lean back against the desk where our phone sits, crossing my legs at the ankle. Rodney steps over to me, leaning just the same, mirroring my posture. He’s much taller than me but like this, side by side, it feels like we’re equals.

Rodney is always here, always right next to me. It feels so domestically natural. What was I supposed to do, other than fall completely and utterly in love with him?

“You’re always doing that,” I murmur under my breath, feeling my heart pick up speed.

“Doing what?” Rodney asks, just as softly, nudging my arm with his elbow.

“Taking care of me.”

“Obviously,” he says, turning to look at me. His face is so close, close enough I can feel his breath on my face. “You’re easy to take care of, Pete.”

It’s been years since I fell for Rodney and in all those years, I’ve done my best to keep those feelings pushed away into a little box at the back of my mind. I’ve kept them locked away so they wouldn’t fuck up our friendship. But right now, as we’re side by side in my little pizza shop as the snow outside continues to pour down, all of those feelings come surging up.

I raise my right hand, touching his cheek. His permanent five o'clock shadow is rough against the pad of my thumb. His eyes are locked onto my face. He’s so still, like he’s afraid to move, afraid to break this little spell.

Has he been holding himself back just as much as I have?

I feel like my eyes are clearing and I’m seeing him for the very first time. Sure, he might just be a very dedicated best friend but the way he’s always going above and beyond for me, the way he’s so gentle with me, the way he’s always taking care of me, it feels like maybe there’s more than friendship here. For the first time in years, I let myself hope.

“Thank you,” I whisper, my eyes snapping up to meet his. “Thank you, Rodney.”

His lips quirk up and I’m hit square in the chest with such intense longing it steals my breath. One moment, I’m holding his face and the next, I’m inching forward. Rodney doesn’t move, doesn’t pull away. That’s all the permission I need.

My lips press softly against his cheek, touching the very corner of his mouth. If he asks, I could simply tell him it was a thank you kiss, that it didn’t mean anything. I know that's a lie. This is everything I’ve wanted for so fucking long. It’s better than I’ve dreamed because it’srealand it’sRodneythat I’m kissing.

I pull back, both of our eyes blown wide. I open my mouth to say something, to sayanythingwhen the phone rings.

“Fuck,” I breathe out before picking up the phone.

Rodney jumps back in surprise and I immediately miss his warmth pressed against my side. I let out a long breath, trying to will my hands to stop shaking. I pull the phone off the hook, ready to tell whoever it is that we’re closing early for the night.

“Thank you for calling Pete’s Slice, how may I help you?”

“Hi, Pete! This is Candy! I’m so sorry but there’s no way I’m going to make it to pick up my order tonight. I thought I could nip out before the storm got too bad but my car is legit stuck in the driveway.”

“Oh gosh, that’s totally fine, Candy.”

“Can I still pay for the pizza over the phone? I feel so bad that I’m not able to come get it.”

“Absolutely not,” I say with a warm chuckle, shaking my head. “You don’t have to pay for something you can’t eat. You just promise me you’ll be safe and we’ll call it even.”

“Are you sure? I’m happy to pay!”

“Nope,” I say right away. “This is actually perfect because I forgot to have dinner so I’m going to eat this instead. It wouldn’t be right for me to eat the pizza you paid for.”

Candy lets out a long sigh. She’s one of my regulars and I can’t imagine taking her money like that. “Fine. Thank you, Pete. Next time I come in there I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

“We both know you don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but you’re the sweetest and I want to,” she says. “You be safe, okay?”

“I will. You have a good rest of your weekend, Candy.”

I hang up the phone and turn towards Rodney. He’s got a soft smile on his face that quickly disappears when I look over at him. His cheeks flush and he quickly looks away.

Fuck.

I can’t help but feel like I’ve fucked everything up by kissing him. Are things going to be awkward now? Are we going to fumble at being friends now that he knows I have feelings for him? Have I ruined everything?