Page 232

I followed him into the living room, and as much as I wanted to sit beside him, I chose the chair across from him. I held out my empty glass. “Marti needs yum juice.”

“If we’re going to do this, you have to promise to call it that every day.” His smile made my heart skip a beat. “You always find a way to surprise me.”

“What if I stop surprising you? What if you start to think I’m as boring as I feel?”

“What if I get a beer gut? I’m tired of working so hard to stay in shape.”

“What if I get as bitchy as you know I am and you get tired of dealing with my shit?”

“What if I spiral into depression and mope around and stop being me for a while?”

“We’ve dealt with that off and on since I first met you.”

“We’ve dealt with both of us going through boring moments.”

“We’ve… You’ve always stayed in shape, but I don’t love you because of your pecs. I mean… I am sure they are very nice, but they are not you.”

“You’ve always been a bitch. It’s one of the reasons I love you. I adore your snark and sass.”

“What if…”

“What if we stop worrying about the future? Life and a happy ending are never guaranteed. But I can promise something.”

“What?”

“I love you and I will always love you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it – involved in a very meaningful way as it has been for over twenty years. I will not allow you to lose me. No matter what. Do you understand?”

“I… I do.”

“I know everything about you, Marti. Every sick little detail of your sordid, amazing life, and I am not worried. You are the same. You know me in ways I probably don’t even realize myself. I trust you more than I have ever trusted anyone, and I know you feel the same.”

“I do. But doesn’t it scare you? I’m terrified.”

“What are you so scared of, Marti?”

“You have to answer my question first.”

“I’m not scared… but I’m… I want us to be honest with each other every day. I just can’t believe it’s real, and… I want this. Now you.”

“I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared that you’ll realize you’re dating a nut and want to run away.”

“Marti… Honey, I know you’re a nut. I’ve always known that.”

“Smartass.”

“Look, we’ve both been the problem with some of our… dalliances or… dates. But it hasn’t always been our fault. We’re not to blame for every failed relationship that we’ve had.”

“A few of them. More me than you, I think.”

“Anyone who wouldn’t fight for you was a fool. Except for Thomas. He really was sweet, wasn’t he?”

“I scared him away easily enough. He was wonderful, but I didn’t love him. I let him go without a thought. I probably turned him straight.”

“No way. He was just too green and couldn’t handle the sass of all of us.”

“We really are a pair, aren’t we?”

“Most definitely. But I am ready to see where this goes.”