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“So, the picture was sent via email, right?” CJ says out loud, not talking to anyone in particular.
“Hey,” Mum scolds playfully when he ignores her death glare.
“Soz, Mrs M,” he apologises, but doesn’t look away from his laptop screen.
Cole takes that moment to walk in after taking a phone call from his mum. He sees CJ with his laptop and his eyes turn serious. It happens so quickly I nearly miss it. It’s like one moment he was calm and collected, and then the next, he was on high alert.
“The picture was sent via email…” Allie repeats, getting him to snap out of his trance.
“Oh, yeah. The picture was sent via email. Two email accounts actually. One is Logan’s, and one belongs to an Alec Redman. That’s your ex, right?” he asks, glancing up at me, his eyes softening like they’ve done every time they’ve landed on me.
I nod, swallowing. “Yeah.”
“Well, anyone who opens the email now, or reopens it, will get a nasty virus thanks to yours truly. I’ve also managed to put a block on both accounts. The only thing is, it was also sent via picture message, and there’s nothing I can do about deleting those. I can erase the picture if it pops up anywhere on the internet. I’ve sent out a message alert so I’ll be notified as soon as it does.”
“But people will still have it on their phones?” I whisper. I knew this would happen, but it still hurts all the same. Once a picture is out there, there is no stopping it. No matter what I do in life, from now on that picture will haunt me. It will always be there reminding me of what happened to me and who did it.
“Yeah,” he sighs, exhaling in defeat. “If I have to take everyone’s phone and reset the fuckers then I will,” he promises, and I can see he’s telling me the truth.
“Thank you,” I say through a watery smile.
“Right. Is anyone else up for eating Indian for dinner?”
I hear everyone telling Mum yes, but I’m staring into space. My mind is on CJ and everyone else’s support.
“Low?” Mum calls gently. I shake my head before turning my attention to her.
“Sorry,” I mutter, still lost in thought. “I’m really not hungry.”
“You need to eat,” she says softly, walking over to me.
“I’m really not hungry, Mum. I just want to go lie down. It’s been a long day.”
“Why not try something small, just to put something in your belly,” Cole tells me, his voice low.
Looking up at him, I give him a small smile. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stomach it. If I’m hungry later, I’ll just grab some toast. I’m going to go lie down.”
“Do you want some company? I’ll put a movie on while you sleep,” Cole offers, and CJ starts coughing into his hand.
“Sorry, tickly throat,” he wheezes, pointing to his neck.
I scrunch my eyes up at him but look back at Cole, wishing more than anything for him to stay with me. But I’m being selfish, and leaning on him the way I have been won’t do me any favours in the long run. I’m surprised I’ve managed to stay calm around him and CJ. Sam is like the dad I never had, so he’s different. I guess there’s just something about CJ and Cole that makes me feel safe. I hate the fact Logan has me questioning everyone and everything.
“I’ll be fine,” I whisper. “Thank you for being here for me.”
“It’s okay,” he rumbles, staring at me with a deep intensity.
“I’m going to grab a shower,” I mumble, walking off. I can feel the heat from my mum’s stare on my back. It’s not the first intense stare someone has given me and I don’t think it will be the last.
“Okay. I’ll plate up some food and pop it in the microwave for you just in case,” she offers, her voice soft.
“Okay.” I shrug, walking in a daze to my room. The whispering starts as soon as I escape, and my eyes fill with tears. I just want this feeling to disappear. I want to feel like me again.
*** *** ***
I jump when the handle on my door presses down. Every inch of my body tenses to the point of pain.
“Hey,” Mum whispers, and I relax as she steps into my room. It’s dark outside, the moon shining bright through my bedroom window. I’ve literally been wide awake the whole time. I’ve not been able to shut my eyes without having little flashes of memories or remembering the pain I endured. It’s killing me.