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His mum knows. So what? Isn’t it better that someone I kind of know, someone I already know I can trust, sees me?
Look where trusting someone got you.
Shaking the unwanted thoughts from my mind, I glance up at Cole with a soft expression. I know he didn’t tell his mum to be a gossip or to hurt me; he was just trying to help. I won’t lie. The idea of Jackie knowing scares me. What if she doesn’t want me around her daughter anymore? Or she tells me to get lost and to stay away from her son?
You’re being stupid, Willow.
“It’s fine. You just surprised me. Will she help me?” My voice is hoarse with emotion, my eyes watering once again.
“Yes, Willow. She will help you. I promise,” he tells me brokenly, looking unsure about what to do. He reaches for my hand again, his eyes silently checking it’s okay with me. When I don’t flinch or step back, he takes it as a good sign. He takes my hand in his and leads me towards the entrance. I see Jackie straight away, wearing her blue scrubs. A worried expression mars her face when she looks between me and her son.
“What’s happened?” she whispers, looking around to make sure no one can hear her.
“I need you to help me,” I plead.
She looks at her son again, and from the corner of my eye, I notice he bows his head, not answering. “How? What’s wrong?” she asks gently.
“I need a blood test,” I whisper, finding it hard to tell her the rest.
“Blood test?” she asks, seeming more confused.
Looking at her through watery eyes, I tell her everything I can’t say through one look. I see the moment she gets it because her eyes sadden and she pulls me gently away from Cole and into the hospital.
“Let’s get you a room and you can tell me everything,” she soothes, and numbly, I follow, giving her control.
I’m surprised when she steers us into a private room on the first floor of the hospital.
“Take a seat,” she tells me softly. I move to the bed, sitting down on the edge, clutching the carrier bag with my clothes inside to my chest. “Do you want to give us some privacy?”
When I find she’s talking to Cole and not me, I panic. I need him here. I need him for support. Just until I get this out.
“No, please don’t leave me. Not yet,” I beg, silently pleading with him. He looks over to his mum with troubled eyes, still looking unsure.
“It’s fine. Take a seat.” His mum nods, and I sag in relief. “I know this is hard for you, Willow, but I need you to tell me what happened, okay?”
I nod, my hands shaking. I have to put the bag to the side before I tear into it. “I don’t remember anything, not really. It’s more like experiencing flashes of emotions, but ones I don’t remember having.” I stop, feeling weighed down. “He was my best friend,” I cry, tears falling helplessly down my face. “We’ve been friends since we were babies.” I shake my head, going off topic, but I need her to understand I’m not who he said I am. I’m sensible. I don’t drink more than I can handle. I’ve always been cautious. I was raised that way. But I never felt threatened by Logan, not once.
“It’s okay. Take your time,” Jackie soothes.
Taking in a few steady breaths does nothing to calm my rapidly beating heart. It takes me a few minutes to catch my breath, keeping my eyes closed tightly as I struggle to get my breathing under control.
“He invited me to his house party. I’d had an argument with my boyfriend so I wasn’t really feeling up to it, but I still went. I’m so stupid. If I had just stayed in…” I breathe.
“It’s not your fault,” Cole’s deep voice rumbles, and I hear him move right before the bed shifts. His hand strokes gently up and down my back. “You can do this.”
“I went, but like I said, I wasn’t feeling up to it. I finished my first drink, then I told him I was going. He managed to talk me into staying for another hour and having one more drink. I don’t remember anything after that. I don’t know what’s real or what’s not. Then I woke up this morning,” I choke out, a sob tearing from my throat as I remember how sore and confused I was. I’d never been so petrified in my life.
“I remember thinking about how much I drank the night before because my head was hurting so bad, and my mouth was dry and heavy. Then it was like everything hit me at once. I had a hand on my bare breast, my body was completely naked, and I was sore all over. I panicked, jumping from the bed. There was blood on the sheets.” I gag, knowing that it came from me. It’s the reason I feel like someone has taken a razor blade between my legs.
Cole’s entire posture stiffens, a dangerous energy filling the air around us. His mum looks at me with encouragement, a soft, sad expression on her face. It makes me feel worse.
“He was supposed to be my friend. I was so confused. I trusted him. I had no reason not to. He’s only ever looked out for me. But the more he told me I begged for it, that I wanted it, the more I knew he was lying. I’ve never seen him like that. Not once. How could he do this to me? What did I do? And why don’t I remember?” I cry, meeting her gaze and pleading for answers.
“Firstly, this is not your fault. You’ve done nothing wrong. Secondly, I can see you’ve showered,” she comments.
“I couldn’t stand him on me anymore,” I break, wiping at my tears. “I didn’t even know what I was doing until it was too late.”
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s fine,” she hushes me, stroking her fingers through my damp hair. “We have a sexual assault forensic examiner on duty. With your permission, we can do a rape kit. I’m not qualified to do the kit, but I can assist if you’d like.”