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“I wasn’t going to deny it,” I murmur, removing my arm from around her. I look down at the ground, like she was before, and I question if this is it. If this is my undoing. “I didn’t know if I should’ve said anything.”
“How did you even know?”
“I saw them.”
“What?When?”
“The night you moved in,” I answer truthfully. “I watched your house from outside my bedroom window, and I saw them. You wouldhave too, if you were two minutes later to come outside to find my basketball. I know you have it, by the way, and you lied to me about it.”
I can hear her frustration when she says, “That’s hardly the same, Jace.”
“Sorry.”
“So what? You saw them together?”
The ache in my chest forces my eyes shut. “She came out of the house right after you went in, and she knocked on his RV, I guess. He stepped out, they kissed, and then they spent the night together.”
“Jesus,” Harlow whispers. Then lets out a humorless laugh. “They were that brazen, huh?”
“Sorry,” I repeat, and I don’t even know what I’m apologizing for. I just know that I should.
After a few seconds of silence, she asks the same question from earlier. The same question I’ve been dreading. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrug, force myself to look up. Not at her, just ahead. “I researched it.”
“Researchedwhatexactly?” She’s mad, it’s obvious, and I don’t know if it’s at me or this new information she must’ve just discovered or both.
Probably both.
“I looked upwhypeople cheat, and then it led me to why people stay together while one person is cheating, and I read this piece about parents staying together for the sake of their kids. Usually until they leave for college. I didn’t know if your dad knew about the affair, and I was going to tell him—that day when he knocked on my door asking me to look out for you—and I realized how much he loved you and how much you meant to him, and if anyone was going to stay in a shitty, toxic relationship for their kids, it was him. And so I kept my mouth shut, and I’ve kept it shut, because I got to know you and him, and I care about you both, and I don’t…” Just the thought of it creates an ache in my chest, making it hard to speak. “I don’t want to be the cause of your pain, Harlow. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”
For the longest moment, Harlow doesn’t speak, doesn’t move, andso I finally face her. Tears stain her cheeks, and as hard as it is, I force my hands to stay right where they are. “You researched it?” she asks.
“Yeah…”
“You’re such a little nerd.”
I laugh, made of nothing but pure relief.
“I could never hate you, Jace,” she says, and then she kisses me, and I feel every inch of muscle unfurl within me. Mouth still on mine, she whispers, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I pull back, just so I can breathe easily for the first time since I saw her sitting here. “Swear, I thought you were going to be done with me.”
“Your reasoning was pretty solid, so I’ll give you a pass on this one, but… you’re still not getting your ball back.”
I chuckle, weightless in her presence again. “You can keep it.”
“You don’t have a choice.” She stands, offering her hand to me. “But as punishment, you have to let me watch you practice shirtless for the next two hours.”
“Small price to pay.”
We head back to my van, my arm around her as she nestles in close. “Hey, will you come over for dinner after work on Sunday?”
55
Harlow
There’s often a calm before a storm, and that’s exactly how I feel leading up to Sunday’s dinner. Jace and I worked, and afterward, he dropped me off at home before popping back to his house to check on his grandpa. He returned ten minutes later, parking his van behind the house as he always does. Usually, we cook together, but tonight, I suggested Jace and Dad continue theirMario Karttournament that’s been going for months. I would’ve suggested a game of one on one, but I feared Mom would lose it and flee at the meresoundof them playing, and I need her here.