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The fact that despite all of that, she still wants me to fuck her.
That’s what I was going to do. Why I brought her in here. I was going to bend her over the sink and fuck her. Treat her like I’ve treated every other woman I’ve brought in here.
Like she doesn’t matter.
But I can’t.
I can’t fucking do it.
Reaching down, I push her hand away from my cock. When she makes a small frustrated sound in the back of her throat and reaches for me again, I block her, knocking her hand away while nailing her with a hard look. “Don’t.”
Her dark eyes flare at me, confused by my reaction. “But I—”
“You said yes.” Gripping her thighs, I open them wider. Stepping into the warm space between them, I press myself against her, letting her feel what I won’t let her touch. “If you’ve changed your mind, you better tell me now.”
Her chin tips up, so she can look at me. So I can watch the tip of her tongue skim the line of her upper lip while she shakes her head at me. “I already told you.” The words come out on a breathless rush, the hot desperation of them pushing against my chest. “I won’t change my mind.”
Dipping my head, I cup my free hand under the soft globe of her breast and lift, circling her nipple with the tip of my tongue. Nipping it with my teeth until she’s writhing.
I reach down, fitting my hand around the back of her knee and lift. Opening her wider. Grinding the hard length of my cock against her clit. Pumping and stroking her through her panties until she’s panting and straining against me. Until her hands come up to fit around my ass, trying to pull me closer. “When you saw Kaitlyn come out of this bathroom, you expected me to be right behind her.” I stop moving, lifting my head to look at her. “You thought I was fucking her. And you wanted it to be you.”
Her breath catches in her throat and she opens her mouth but nothing comes out, her head shaking, fast and tight. Despite her denial, I can see it on her face. Finding me with another woman is exactly what she expected.
“I warned you…” Releasing her breast, I skim my hand down the length of her until I feel the swell of her hip. Following the curve of her thigh to the place where I’m pressed against her. “You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean, Henley. Not to me.”
“I didn’t...” She shakes her head. “I don’t—”
“You said just friends.” I put just enough space between us to give myself room to push the crotch of her panties to the side. “Just. Friends.” I can’t keep it out of my voice. The confusion. The hurt.
I press my lips to her neck. Feel her pulse under my mouth, banging against the side of her throat. Finding the soft, warm center of her, I skim my fingers along the hot, wet seam of her pussy. Feeling her, so ready for me, I groan, the hot breath of it skating across her collarbone. “That’s what you asked for. What you said you wanted.”
“No.” She whimpers the word when I apply pressure, pushing past the swollen folds of her pussy. “That’s what you said—” Her hips buck forward, looking for more. When I sink deeper, the tips of my fingers finding their way inside her, she moans.
“You said you wanted things back to the way they were before—” Before what? Before she gutted me. Left me. Broke my heart. I push it away. Focus on now. Here. “What do you want from me, Henley?” I whisper it in her ear, stroking my fingers into her so deep she gasps, the slick walls of her pussy clenching against their calloused length. “Who do you want me to be?” I push the words through clenched teeth, straining for control. “You need to tell me because I can’t keep guessing. I can’t.”
“I want—” She moans it softly. “I want this.” Her hips retreat from the press of my hand between her thighs only to advance again, fucking herself with fingers. “I want both.”
Both.
Hearing her say it nearly cleaves me in two because it’s the one thing I can’t give her. The only thing I can’t be for her.
I press my hip into hers again, pinning them to the sink behind her. Letting her feel the hard length of my cock straining against the front of my jeans. “That’s not how it works with us.” I take over completely, fucking her slowly with my fingers, curling their tips. Finding and stroking the place deep inside her that makes her come, hard and fast. I press the heel of my hand against her clit, giving it hard, slow circles. “We can’t have it both ways.”
She moans again, her hips pressing against mine in frustration. “Why?”
“Because you don’t trust me.” I keep stroking her. Fucking her. Giving her what she wants. As much as I’m able. “Because you’ve never trusted me, and I don’t think you ever will.” I pump my fingers, rubbing and stretching against the grip of her tight pussy. Her swollen clit. “Because no matter what I say or do, no matter how many times I give in to you, you’ll never stop running from me.”
“Ohmygod...” She starts to come, her fingers curling around my wrist, holding on to me while she shutters and bucks, cries out with her release. Moans my name while her pussy clenches around my fingers so hard I can feel the phantom pains of it dance along the length of my cock. “Because in the thousands of choices you’ve made in your life, not one of them have been me.” I lean into her, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. The place where firm jaw curves into soft cheek. The tender spot behind her ear. “Because you want me, Henley—you might even love me—but you’ll never choose me.”
She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t tell me I’m wrong. Doesn’t try to argue. I clear my throat. “Right.” I take my hands off her and step back, letting her go completely. “Get dressed. I’ll take you home.”