Page 180 of Carnal Games

Am I so blinded by my attraction to Iris that I’m imagining she has feelings for me? The weeks we spent together, especially this morning and the kiss, play in my mind, telling me that I didn’t imagine it. However, is it infatuation or more?

Are her feelings for me stronger than what she has with Nathan? Am I ignoring what’s in front of me? Am I making a horrible mistake breaking them apart? Is she stringing me along?

After everything, can I watch her marry another man? I’m crawling out of my skin just staring at them talk and touch. I don’t want to know what I’ll do if they get married.

A wall of fury goes toe to toe with me, and sharply accuses, “What kind of company are you running that your own employees aren’t safe?”

Squaring my shoulders, I harden my expression and calmly answer. “She is safe.”

“She got attacked twice under your watch.”

“It’s not his fault,” Iris defends, pulling at his bicep.

He doesn’t budge. “I never would have let her come work for you if I knew you’d put her life in danger. Once again, you prove why I can never trust you.”

“Nathan!”

His unflinching accusation cuts deep. Shame creeping in and sinking deep in my bones. “I am sorry.”

Shaking his head derisively, he turns toward Iris and throws his arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side protectively. “Let’s go.”

“No, I—”

“Take the day off, Miss Mannan.”

She flinches, eyes turning glassy and betrayal etching across her face.

Stepping past them, I enter the elevator and press the button for the lobby. Her eyes track me, begging for mine, but I don’t look into them. She can keep her apology and pity to herself.

The doors shut until my dead reflection stares back at me.

Unable to stand it, I raise my fist and punch the mirror, splintering it into pieces. Blood drips to the ground, but the pain never registers, nor does the desolation lessen.

A hollow fantasy.

It’s all I was foolishly chasing.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Iris

ME: Please, Kian.

ME: Talk to me.

I look at my phone for the hundredth time, but Kian never texts back. I haven’t heard a peep from him since the epic disaster this morning.

Nathan showing up unannounced caught me off guard and like muscle memory, I fell into my role as his fake fiancée. It was the most terrible and callous act I could’ve committed against the man I need like my air.

I know exactly how Kian must’ve felt. The treachery, the misery, the powerlessness. If the roles were reversed, I would’ve been a crying and messy heap on the floor.

God knows I’m on the brink of it right now.

I can’t handle him shutting me out without giving me a chance to explain. But what am I going to say? How will I ever justify hurting him like this?

The longer he doesn’t reply to me, the more difficult it becomes to breathe through the torment. I sure as fuck can’t fall apart right now in front of our friends.

A soft tug tears my gaze off the floor. Nathan’s friendly face, pitched with slight concern, fills my line of sight as I glance up.