Page 4

My legs wobbled as I forced myself to stand. Steadying myself against the nightstand, I took another look around the room. There were three doors. One of them had to be my way out. I carefully made my way to the closest door, opening it to find an ensuite bathroom. The second led to a large walk-in closet with clothing that looked suspiciously close to my size. The third was locked. The handle jiggled uselessly under my hand. Gently resting my forehead against the wooden door, I let out a frustrated groan before gathering my thoughts.

After a few moments, I straightened my spine and moved to the closet. From what I’d gathered in my time with the guys, I was most likely in the hands of the Jackals. I didn’t know what they wanted me for, but I knew they wanted me alive. Whatever awaited me outside of this room, I was going to meet it in my version of armor. My nose scrunched as I noted the size was indeed mine on the tags of the black pencil skirt and emerald green silk blouse I’d snagged. I moved to the bathroom with purpose, having to pause to steady myself once, still determined that my captors wouldn’t come in here to find a cowering, simpering victim.

As I entered the bathroom, I set the clothes on the counter and felt the world shift as I caught a glimpse of my hands for the first time. I hadn't let myself see it before, but now that I was standing there staring at my hands, it was all I could see. Dark, dried blood clung to the filth and dirt that coated my exposed skin. I felt bile rise in my throat.

“It’s not his…” I whispered as images of Rich flashed in my mind like some kind of painful slide show.

"You're whatever we say you are." He'd tilted his head to the side as he appraised me. I could only imagine what I lookedlike through his eyes. But I'll never forget what he'd looked like to me… Tall, muscular, and undeniably handsome, he'd looked every inch like the man in charge. I could remember feeling like it was hard to breathe in his presence.

My head spun. And I had to lean against the counter. Blood on my hands…

“It’s not his…” I said again.

“No, Princess. We’re… we’re gonna work on that, okay? But you gotta come home, baby.” His deep voice was comforting and soft as he brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. He’d looked like he was pleading with me. And I hadn’t understood it then, but I couldn’t have denied him anything if I’d tried.

Tears stung my eyes, my vision blurred, and I had to put my head on the cool granite of the counter, sucking in deep breaths of air.

“It’s not… his...” My voice cracked.

“It absolutely does make my life easier knowing that you’re safe, Baby girl. Look…” I could remember how his hands had felt, his thumbs brushing away tears on my cheeks even as an unknown infection was eating him up from the inside. He’d been in pain, but he was always looking out for me. “I’m sorry, I was too harsh. I know this hasn’t been easy on you, this isn’t the world you belong to but it’s found its way to you anyway. They–wehave to know that you’re okay…”

My stomach rolled, and my legs were threatening to give out from under me. Rich’s face flashing through my mind wouldn’t stop. Replaying every moment we’d had together like a sick reel.

“It’s.. it’s not… his…” the words were a barely audible whimper as they left my lips.

“Don't you pick me, Babygirl. I… I don't deserve it for how I hurt you. Pick someone who was honest with how they loved you. If I could have, I would have spent the rest of my life making it up to you. I'm so fucking sorry for being too stubborn. Too stupid to just… I love you, Victoria. And if I could go back, I'd have told you so much sooner… I was so caught up in my own bullshit, I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I wish more than anything I could take it all back. That we could start over at the beginning and I could do it right. I need you to know that. I might have been a better man with you, if we'd had the chance. If I'd given us the chance. But I'm serious, don't you pick me, Baby.” His dark eyes had looked up at me with such pain and tenderness as he begged me to save anyone but him. This larger-than-life man that had given everything to keep me safe…

“It's not his,” I sobbed, knowing it to be true but unable to believe it.

It was all my fault…

My stomach roiled, and I lurched toward the toilet, barely making it in time before my empty stomach violently revolted. My shoulders heaved as I vomited bile. My fingers gripped the porcelain tightly as if it could somehow be the liferaft to save me from everything that had happened. Everything I had lost. Rich was gone. I'd lost him before I ever got to love him the way he deserved—the way I'd wanted to, even when I refused to acknowledge it to myself.

“What is it going to take for you four to screw your heads back on straight?! Is one of us going to have to fucking die keeping her alive before you realize this whole thing isa fucking MISTAKE!?” The thunderous sound of the wooden dining table splintering had me rushing down the stairs for fear they’d killed each other. He’d known somehow…

I froze, remembering what Rich had said to Joey. It felt like someone had injected ice water into my veins. If I had listened to Rich if I had acted the way he'd told me to. If I'd understood that he wasn't just on a power trip to cage the little rich girl. He was trying his damndest to keep me safe, to keep them all safe. The responsibility he shouldered over all of us…

“And all I could do was fight him about it…” I murmured to myself as I stood from where I’d hugged the toilet and lost the non-existent contents of my stomach.

I had protested I wasn’t a spoiled brat, and while I hadn’t been anything like most of the people in my social circle, I had absolutely been the spoiled rich girl with no idea how the real world worked. That wasn’t even entirely true. Myhomehad been blown up; Ishouldhave known better. But I was too stupid to see that the attack on the manor wasn't just a fluke, that the danger was truly something my status couldn't protect me from like it had always done before. Ihadto be smarter if I didn’t want his death to be in vain.

“Get up, Bitch,” I hissed to myself. “Clean yourself off, put your fucking game face on, and be the smart woman he thought you could be.”

Forcing every painful thought that kept trying to creep in aside, I quickly discarded my filthy clothing, turned on the shower, and climbed in. The initial shock of cold before the water warmed helped me steel myself against whatever might be coming next. With each swirl of blood and filth washing down the drain, I hardened myself, preparing for battle. The severe bun I twisted my wet hair into once I’d climbed from the tub and toweled off, the makeup I’d found in the drawer, each layersharp and dark, the outfit I’d selected. Each was a piece of my armor, preparing me to step into a role I wasn’t born to play.

Padding barefoot back through the spacious bedroom, I found a pair of black, red-bottomed heels. I briefly considered whether they were the right choice with how my head still throbbed and spun, but I knew they were theonlychoice to complete my armor. Slipping them onto my bare feet, I settled onto the end of the bed, my spine straight, hands in my lap the way finishing school taught me, and stared at the locked door, waiting for God only knew what.

Darkness had fully claimed the room by the time the handle jiggled. I hadn't moved from my place, letting the darkness blanket me like a cloak. The door swung inward, the light outside silhouetting a petite figure, before the bedroom light was flipped on. I kept my face blank as I watched the round-faced woman with long black hair fly toward me in a rage. She had thick lips and perfectly feminine features that, had she not been in a rage, would have been almost doll-like in her beauty.

“You could have saved him.” She hissed, inches from my face, causing me to rear back slightly. For a moment, I thought she meant Rich. “Why didn’t you pick Joey? You stupid bitch.”

Confusion clouded my mind and tied my tongue.

“You may be protected, but I will find a way to pay you back for this.” she snarled as she grabbed my upper arm in an iron grip and yanked me to my feet.

I allowed her to drag me from the bedroom and down the long hallway. Whoever this woman was, she radiated hatred for me with each step. I could only imagine how badly things would go if I said a word to her.

“That will be all, Ciara.” A familiar woman’s voice called out as I was jerked into a dimly lit sitting room.