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“A stupid god damned decision, that’s what.” He sniped.

“Did you and Joey get physical? Should I be preparing myself to dress little brother’s injuries?”

“It wasn’t Joey, though he would have deserved it.” Az sighed, wrapping the ice in a paper towel and pressing it to his eye. “I made the dumb fuck decision to find myself a Jackal. Bastard was a scrapy son of a bitch and got in a few good licks, but I’m here and he’s…” Az shrugged.

“Alright, Leighton…” I said, raising my brow. “You know, Joey’s temper isn’t the only one here that needs some cooling off.”

“I deserved that,” Az replied, tipping his head in acknowledgment. “What’s that therapist shit Phil’s been preaching at us lately? I had a minor backslide, and I’m aware of it. It was stupid. I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I’m trying. Fuck, my face hurts.”

I shook my head sympathetically. They weren’t the only ones who battled with anger, so I knew how easy it was to slide into solving problems with violence. I turned back to the cabinet, locating the Tylenol. Grabbing the bottle, I shook out four, tossed two back, and handed the others to Az. He moved to the sink, filled a coffee cup with water, and took the pills.

“It will happen again, it always does. It’ll take time before that isn’t your first instinct… or at least until you stop acting on it when you get pushed too far.”

“Joey’s just so god damned infuriating these days,” Az grumbled, sitting the cup on the counter harder than necessary. “He’s acting like he did when he wouldn’t take Rich’s no for an answer and it’s going to get one of us killed this time.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head as I regarded my friend. “Oh, so you mean he’s hell bent on proving his point despite the rest of us telling him that he’s obviously wrong.Thatdoesn’t sound like anyone else I know.”

“Really?” Az drawled, arching his uninjured brow at me just as Leighton strolled into the kitchen.

“Oh, harem meeting! This is a harem meeting, right?” Leighton laughed as he moved to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of apple juice.

“Yes, really—”

“Sweet! Point of order, I am the only boyfriend. I would like that added to the record!” Leighton grinned.

I paused for a moment, collecting myself. “No, Leighton. Yes, Az, really. You seem to have forgotten how you acted not long ago. Nothing anyone said could convince you that Victoria wasn’t somehow the head of the Jackals or pulling some kind of strings.”

“Yeah, bu—” Az started.

“Respectfully, Az, listen. When you got out of jail and we started down this path, you were so hard headed that none of the evidence mattered to you. No matter how many times someone tried to kidnap her, or she was involved in some kind of shoot out, or that the movements the Jackals were making didn’t makeanyfucking sense if she was in charge of anything, you didn’t budge. You started fights with us, you were downrightcruelto Victoria, and you chased that thread down until there was nowhere else to go.” I paused for a moment, a painful twinge in my side forcing me to take a breath. “It wasn’t until Joey beat the information out of a man with a golf club, and then slit his throat that you allowed yourself to realize you were wrong and she was as much a victim in the situation as anyone else. And you managed to do all of thatwithouthaving lost someone so near to your heart as one of us. So, maybe, you need to take a step back and realize that browbeating Joey isn’t going to do anything but make him dig his heels in further.”

I leaned back against the counter. I was on the mend, but damn I still hurt, and I was still tired.

“Yeah, Az,” Leighton piped in with a look of mock sternness. “Do you wanna be the pot or the kettle in this situation?”

“Andyou,” I said, shifting my gaze to where Leighton stood. “Do you really think that turning every instance of grief and conflict into a fucking joke is helping anyone? It’s not easing the tension, it’s not making things lighter. It makes you look like an inconsiderate asshole, considering that the entire family is both grieving and tearing itself apart.”

Leighton’s hands went up, the apple juice dangling from his fingers. “Hey! Iaman inconsiderate asshole, and excuse me for trying to keep from stabbing everyone in sight. Maybe I make everything a joke because it’s the only sliver of sanity I can find. Ever consider that Mister-Fucking-Emotionally-Stable.” he snapped before dropping his voice to whisper to himself. “Recognized a coping mechanism, check. Maybe that book Phil slipped me is onto something after all.”

“Shut it, Leighton.” Az snapped before turning his attention back to me. “I’m doing my damnedest to give Joey grace, butfuck, Craig. Everything is falling apart around us and I don’t have time to coddle him, not even in his grief. Yes, I was a stubborn idiot, and I nearly ruined the best damned thing that ever happened to me before it had a chance to start, but I wasn’t setting a match to ouralreadyburning empire. I’m doing the best I can and if that makes me the bad guy here, well…"

“You’re not the bad guy… no more than the rest of us are.” I shook my head with a sigh. “I get that you’ve got a lot on your plate, and no one is asking you to handle Joey with kid gloves. But for fuck’s sake, Az, think. Do you think, in his current mental state, telling Joey what happened, throwing his mistakes in his face, and painting him out to be a burden to the family is going to doanythingto put out the fire? You’re just throwing on gas.”

Az’s hands went to his hair, and he tugged the strands hard enough I was sure he’d pulled a few out. Curling in on himself, he let them slide free, scrubbing over his face as a ragged breath left him.

“This wasn’t supposed to be my job.” His voice cracked, the words sounded choked as if he said them with a suppressed sob. “Rich was supposed to be here. I’m barely holding my shit together and Joey has completely spiraled out.” He abruptly straightened, turned, and planted his hands on the edge of the sink, letting his head hang low as his shoulders began to shake.

“I think you broke him,” Leighton murmured, moving close enough to Az to run his hand across the other man’s face. “Shit, Craig. These are tears,” he said, panic lacing his tone as he held up his hand while Az continued to hang his head. “You fucking broke, Az.”

“Shut up, Leighton. If you want to step out, you can.” I said, moving closer to Az and touching his shoulder. He jerked as if he was going to move away from me, but I stayed in his space. “Az. I know that you’re doing the best you can with the situation you’re in. Rich was always supposed to be the boss. Every one of us would have followed him to hell and back if that’s what was needed. And now, we follow you. But… you don’t have to handle everything burning like the only one holding an extinguisher.”

While I spoke, Leighton sat his juice bottle down and moved to Az’s other side so that he was sandwiched between us. Leaning around him just enough to catch my gaze, Leighton mouthed silently,‘I’m not leaving just because you broke him.’

“Someone has to be at the head of this shit.” Az said, not meeting my eyes as he blinked rapidly in an attempt to stop the dam from breaking. “But… how the fuck is anyone supposed to handle all this shit? We buried Rich, you and Victoria were kidnapped, you were tortured, Leighton was held hostage by hisown family, and Joey’s self destructing… I… I can’t… I don’t know how Rich handled everything all the time. My shoulders aren’t… strong enough.” Az’s voice became more broken and strangled as he spoke, the effort it took to keep himself from breaking down obviously becoming more difficult with every word.

“You can take my family shit off that pile,” Leighton offered, awkwardly patting Az on the back. “I had it all under control anyway, nothing at all to worry about. Promise.”

Az snorted. “Not the point, L.” He heaved a sigh and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Fuck. I don’t have time for the breakdown I need right now.”