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“Are the buns ready to eat?” I ask, knowing it’ll make him happy. I’m not hungry, but he’s right; I need something.
His smile grows. “Yes. Stay right there,” he says, pointing to my place on the couch before rushing out of the room.
I listen as he crashes around in the kitchen, taking in my surroundings.
This place has been home to me for so long. I’m not sure how I’m ever going to get it ready to sell. How am I going to decide what to keep and what to get rid of?
Her entire life is under this roof. How do you just dispose of that?
We spend the rest of the day sitting on the couch and reminiscing about old times with Grams. It’s nice, even if it makes my chest ache more than I thought possible.
As the sun begins to set, Kieran announces that we should go for a walk to get some fresh air.
The thought of leaving the house and facing the real world terrifies me, but I know he’s right.
After getting dressed, we head out. It’s a warm evening with the sun casting a soft orange glow on the city Grams loved.
Kieran takes my hand, and together we embark on a walk we’ve done many, many times before.
I know his plan long before the bakery comes into sight. I know him and his scheming ways too well.
“Dinner?” he asks as we approach.
“Sure,” I agree, smiling up at him, letting him know that I can see through him.
He shakes his head before pulling me inside.
“What do you want?” he asks, his eyes scanning the homemade subs like they’re the best things he’s ever seen.
“Whatever. You pick.” I might know him well enough to predict his thoughts, but it goes both ways. He knows what I like, and I trust his choice.
I stand to the side as he orders, and only a minute later, we’re walking out with takeout coffees in hand and subs in a paper bag.
We keep walking. It might appear aimlessly to many, but I know exactly where we’re going.
The thought of what we’re about to do makes my heart begin to race, but it’s nowhere near enough to stop him.
We approach the park just like we did many times as kids.
The gates are locked every night at eight o’clock sharp. They have been for years. It’s to stop kids from getting in and trashing the place. And it works, for the most part.
This park at night has always been mine and Kieran’s place.
I’m pretty sure we were fifteen when Kieran first came to stay with Grams and we scaled the fence after dark. We’ve been nighttime visitors ever since.
We follow the fence around the perimeter until we get to the spot that allows us to break in.
Just like always, my palms sweat, and my anxiety spikes.
I’ve never done anything wrong or broken the law in my life. This is the extent of it, and every time we do it, I’m terrified someone is going to catch us.
Kieran laughs at me as he throws our sandwiches over the railing.
“Ready?” he asks, holding his arms out to help give me a boost.
“Aren’t we too old for this now?” I ask hesitantly.
“Never. We’ll still be doing this in our sixties,” he says confidently.