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I don’t watch or hear anything from the TV. Instead, I lose myself in the gossip about me and Effie.
Somehow, people have managed to get hold of younger pictures of the two of us. They’ve even been to our old school and interviewed some of the teachers who apparently “fondly remember our special friendship” and just like Mom, thought it was only a matter of time before we took things to the next level.
The endless notifications continue. In the end, I turn them all off. I’m not interested in talking to anyone.
I look at the closed door more than once, wondering if I should go to her.
Is she asleep? Or is she lying there crying?
Does she need me, and I’m not there?
At some point, I must fall asleep, because I find myself waking up to a loud, agonizing scream.
I’m on my feet in a heartbeat and racing down the hallway.
Effie’s door crashes back against the wall as I fly into her room. But I come to a very abrupt stop when I find her sitting in the middle of her bed with her cell in front of her and tears streaming down her face, dripping onto the sheets beneath her.
“Effie, what’s?—”
She looks up at me with tear-filled eyes, and my heart jumps into my throat.
Devastation and heartbreak are written all over her face.
I know what she will say long before she opens her mouth.
“She’s gone,” she whispers so quietly I barely hear it, even in the silence.
“Effie,” I breathe, immediately crawling onto her bed and wrapping her in my arms.
11
EFFIE
Pain explodes through my body; I swear, I feel it all the way down to my toes. But nowhere as agonizing as in my heart. Sobs rack my body, and I fight to suck in breaths as everything shuts down.
I knew this was going to happen. I thought I was prepared for it.
Turns out, it’s impossible to be prepared for something that shatters the foundations you’ve built your entire life on, however inevitable it is.
Kieren’s deep voice rumbles, but I’m unable to register what he’s saying. Blood is rushing past my ears so fast, stopping me from focusing on anything but my own devastating thoughts.
His arms are locked like a vise around me. It’s like he’s holding me together. To be fair, he very well might be.
Everything is falling apart, including me.
Eventually, my sobs lessen, but the agony never leaves.
My eyes burn from the tears, and my throat hurts from crying, but at no point does he even attempt to release me.
All I can think about is the fact that Grams was alone.
I promised that I’d be there throughout this whole journey. Okay, so I didn’t specifically say that to her face, but I had every intention of doing so.
She’s been with me, supporting me, throughout everything I’ve ever been through. I owed it to her to do the same.
Keiran’s arms loosen, making my heart jump into my throat, and my eyes fill with tears again at the thought of him releasing me.
I have no idea if he senses it or if he never intended to let go, but instead, his large, warm hand begins gently moving up and down my back.