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It’s then, when we’re standing next to the fire, reminded of our childhood, I start to trust him entirely. He’s in this, no matter what. I have no reason to doubt him.

I mean, he did crash my wedding. But I realize standing there with smoke in my eyes, I wouldn’t have had any of this back in Tennessee. I would have been living in a gated community and taking my kids to private schools and equestrian lessons. My Saturday night bonfires would have probably been from a gas fireplace that I turned on with an app on my phone, and I would have become a wine drinker. I just know it.

But not here. Not in Amarillo where I was always barefoot, running wild, and chasing the boy who teased me endlessly about seeing my boobies. I would have missed out on these friends I grew up with who welcomed me back here like I’d never left, and I wouldn’t have had this feeling in my heart now reminding me I belong here. I always did.

CHAPTER38

Thinking of the future

JACE

Maybe it’s time I give her that piece of forever I’ve been holding onto.

I step outsidethe barn Sunday morning where Barron, Morgan, and Rhett are standing with coffee in hand. Sunday’s on the ranch are some of my favorite days. A place where I can forget everything because this kind of work leaves little to worry about, aside from if you’re going to be chasing a steer down the highway or how many times a baby goat is going to trip you.

Breathing in deep, I walk closer to them while zipping up my jacket. Gone are the frosty mornings and snow-covered ground here in North Texas. Summer is just around the corner. It’s early, the sun rising to the east and every animal on this ranch is looking to be fed.

The barn catches my gaze and I think about the accident. Though the memories are spotty, the recovery hasn’t been. It’s been three months. I still don’t have full use of the arm, and I imagine it’s going to take time. Maybe even years.

I left Abbi sleeping soundly in bed, and while I regret not waking her, it’s nice to think she’ll be waiting for me when I get back later today.

“So…” Morgan grins. “Twins, huh? Congrats, man.” He slaps his hand over my shoulder.

I smile, but don’t say anything. I know Abbi’s worried this is too much for me, but I’d have ten kids with her if it meant my guarantee of having her forever.

Okay, not ten. Let’s be realistic here.

Barron’s grin surfaces when my eyes sway his way. I think he knows the nerves I’m desperately trying to shake, or he’s going through the same shit. From what I hear, he knocked up Kacy not long after she moved in, which was right away. I guarantee Abbi and Kacy’s due dates are close.

My nerves though? They have nothing to do with me about to be a father. I’ve spent enough time around Sev and Camdyn to know I can handle kids. The nerves are a product of my arm in many ways. My way of making a living and providing for my growing family isn’t what it used to be. And the fact that Abbi’s questioning me has me wondering why the fuck I waited so long on forever. If I would have just given that girl what she wanted in the beginning, the last four years would have never happened.

I also think they needed to happen, because I remember that headstrong eighteen-year-old boy who pushed the girl away when he couldn’t suck up his pride and tell her father he loved her.

As I sip my coffee from my mug, Barron smiles again. “Better log that sleep now, man. You ain’t getting any come September.”

I glance around at the guys. Us four, we grew up on this ranch and now here we are, creating families here. Well, everyone but Rhett. I don’t know what the fuck he’s doing with Josie besides looking for a good time. Not my business.

I think about him telling me to stay away from Abbi all those years ago and knowing I’d never say that to him. For one, Josie’s a grown-ass woman. Okay, she’s not, but you know what I mean here. I’d never tell her who she can bone. And despite Rhett’s temper from time to time, he’s a good guy and wouldn’t intentionally hurt her.

Yawning, I lift my coffee to my lips. I was up until two this morning with Abbi, but I don’t regret any of it. I think about Barron’s words. Get sleep before September.

Fuck. It’s May. These babies will be here before we know it and I’m just starting to get back into a routine after the accident. But are we moving too fast? I don’t know about that. I think when you know, you know. And watching Abbi last night standing around the bonfire with the girls reminded me of a time when that little redheaded hell-raiser lived for a good time with a smirk that screams buckle-up bitch. I smile around my drink of coffee, but I also recall a time when I didn’t have her. When I was drowning in a memory and a time when she’d been promised to someone else. While I desperately want to believe that’s over, there’s always going to be a part of me that hurts.

Morgan nudges me. “You need help getting the framing down next week?”

I nod. “Oh, probably.” I take a drink of my coffee. “I haven’t been able to get much done over there lately. Foundation was poured and the trusses are being delivered in two weeks”

Everyone has been offering to help since the accident, but I never wanted to rely on anyone. Maybe that’s the lesson in all this. If I was going to finish the house before the baby was born… babies. Shit. It’s real. Two kids.

Fuck. My stomach sinks as the nerves surface. I know why Abbi keeps asking if I’m okay. I can imagine the fear in my eyes. She’s also under the impression we’re going to be living with my parents forever. I haven’t told her about the house I’ve been building.

Do I have a plan?

I do, but I don’t want to ruin the surprise for you.

CHAPTER39

Wondering about forever