Page 38

Josie scowls at the flakes of snow hitting the windshield, her head bobbing to The Judds “I Know Where I’m Going” in the background. “Coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc.”

I listen to the song. I’m sure Josie doesn’t know where she’s going and I’m beginning to wonder why I called her to pick me up. “So? What the hell does that have to do with you drivin’ like a jerk?”

Why did I call her? Because Jace left my ass at that gas station.

“Until I’ve had my coffee, I don’t give a fuck.”

My mind is all over the place. I can’t pinpoint a thought, let alone how to process one, but I stare at Josie wondering how I’m ever going to survive life without her. She’s been my best friend since birth and now that college is over, I know life is only going to get harder without her. What if she gets married and moves to another country? I could totally see her doing that. Probably marry an artist, or rock star and leave this North Texas town behind in a heartbeat.

We stop at a Starbucks and order drinks. I’m tempted to ask her to spike mine, and knowing Josie Vaughn, you better believe this six-foot-tall, black-haired Carhartt wearing badass has mini alcohol bottles in her purse.

What am I going to do now? Go home and act like the last three days didn’t happen? I can’t. I still smell him on my skin, taste his kiss on my tongue and feel his presence between my legs. His touch, his kisses, the way it felt when he couldn’t wait and fucked me against a countertop, and then again in the hot tub. Everything about my time with him was amazing, and over before I knew it.

Now I’m left empty and unsure of what a life without him is going to be like. And the glaring reality that I’m to blame for it.

“How serious is Rhett with this girl he met on Tinder?” I stare at Josie as she swerves around a parked car in the snow. “That’s a shitty spot to park, buddy!” she yells, as if he can hear her. Or maybe she’s talking to the car. I’m not entirely sure. She’s a bit worked up today.

I press down on the lid to my Starbucks cup, hoping it’s on secure and not going to pop off and drench the front of me. Been there, done that, don’t want to again. “What are you talking about?”

She glances over at me, but then back to the road. Thankfully. “Rhett and this chick he’s kinda seeing.” She stares at me like I should have been following her conversation.

Yes, because that’s exactly what I was curious about this morning. I bounce around in the seat, thankful we’re in Mr. Vaughn’s truck and not Josie’s Honda. “I thought you said they met on Instagram?” I’m not following anything she says, but it’s a nice distraction from “where in the fuck have you been” conversation I know is coming from my mom the second I see her at the house.

Do you see how red and swollen my eyes are? That’s the complexion of a girl who has no idea what she’s doing. And the one next to me, barreling over a snow bank and into the driveway of my parents’ home, is crazy as fuck if you haven’t guessed it.

“How am I supposed to know if they’re serious? I didn’t even know they were dating,” I tell her, holding onto the “oh shit” bar before I nail my head on the roof of the truck. “And since when do you care?”

Look at Josie’s face. I know exactly where this is going. She blinks, lashes fluttering in surprise. She had sex with him. “Josie,” I groan, letting out a heavy sigh. “You know what he’s like.” It’s like she’s forgetting he took her virginity back in the day and then didn’t talk to her for a week. Who the hell knows why, but he didn’t.

“You’re one to talk.” Her eyes snap to mine, manhandling the steering while like she’s hauling hay and rushing to get the job done before sundown. “You know what it’s like with Jace, yet you keep coming back.”

I chew on my lip and drop my hand to my leg where my cell phone is sitting. No calls from him. No texts.

Maybe he was serious.

“I’m trying to be a ho but I have feelings,” Josie whines, jetting out her bottom lip. “I like him and we got drunk on Christmas, kissed, and before you know it, I’m riding him in the back of Tilly’s.”

My eyes widen, the corners of them burning from the dryness. “You had sex with him at Tilly’s bar?” I think back to Morgan’s nickname for his aunt Tilly when Barron and he used to piss her off. They’d call her “Mean Aunt Titty.” And boy, does that Southern raised rancher’s wife have a temper. Nobody fucks with her.

Josie’s cheeks turn a shade of pink and she rolls her eyes. “Like you haven’t.”

“I haven’t.”

“Okay,” she mocks sarcastically. “Parking lot Queen.”

Right. I guess she has a point there.

Tears sting my eyes out of the blue. “I… can’t believe he dropped me off in a parking lot because I couldn’t give him a yes right now.”

Josie shakes her head, hitting the gas to get over what I think is a curb. “I knew you were with him. You two are a bunch of little fucking liars.”

The truck bounces to the side and then slams down onto the ice. My drink splashes out of my cup in the process and onto my knuckles. Bringing it to my lips, I suck off the coffee on my hand, refusing to waste any of it. “I wish I knew how to stop loving him, but I don’t.”

Josie snorts. “I’m pretty sure he feels the same way.”

Does he though? I’m not so sure. I look over at her and see we’re passing by their place. I search for his Jeep but I don’t see it. “I wonder where he went?”

“Probably to the ranch.” Josie flips her turn single on to my parents’ road south of the gates that line the Grady Ranch. “It’s where they all go to think.”