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Serenity scoots closer so our shoulders are touching and before I know it, she’s kissing me.

Are you surprised? Didn’t think so. But here’s the thing. There’s no spark. No stirring inside me to continue. I don’t feel a goddamn thing. Other than wanting her to stop. So I pull back and ease away from her. “Sorry,” I mumble, wiping the back of my hand over my mouth and then downing another shot of whiskey.

Serenity giggles, tipping her head back and taking a drink of the whiskey I gave her. “About?”

“I can’t.”

Innocent eyes, too young to be with someone like me, search mine for an answer. She’s not going to get what she wants and while I know she’s trying, she also knows this isn’t happening. “Why?”

“I… don’t really know.”

Her lips flatten and turn down, lashes fluttering. “You don’t like me, do you?”

I bump her shoulder with mine, winking. “Of course I do.”

“But not like that,” she points out.

“No, honey. I don’t.” I lean in and kiss her temple. “You’re great, but I’m just me.”

“And taken, huh?”

“Sadly.” Everyone around town has been talking since Abbi showed up and we mysteriously disappeared for Christmas. Hell, I’m not even sure how it didn’t get back to the heart surgeon.

Serenity stands. “It’s okay. I understand.”

I motion with the bottle toward Granger and Rhett. “Granger has a thing for you.”

Her eyes light up, a flush of surprise rises in her cheeks. “Really?”

“Oh yeah.” Reaching for my shirt, I pull it over my shoulders. “Hit him up.”

She walks over to them and sure enough, Granger shows her a good time while I wallow in my misery of being alone on New Year’s. Rhett’s singing to my sister and her aversion to what she calls her fart box, and changing the lyrics to “Drift Away” and singing, “Show me them cheeks girl and free my soul. I wanna get lost in your booty hole and lick away.”

Fucking idiot.

Trying to rearrange my thoughts, I stare down at my hand wrapped around the bottle. One thought surfaces over everything else as I stare off into the snow covered field. Abigale Mae Lockett and the day I whispered, “Come for me, Abigale,” and she did, a girl lost in a field but clinging to the one who could never let her go.

Who’s she kissing at midnight, ’cause it’s not me. And I’m so fucking angry it’s not me. Why do I keep letting her go?

CHAPTER17

Sevyn Rae

JACE

I love her, but what the fuck?

“Doyou think black looks good on me?” I ask Sev, who couldn’t give a flying fuck what I think about her nail job she did for me. Yes, I let a kid paint my nails. I’m not a monster. If Sev wants to give me a manicure, I let her.

My heart melts a little with her bright smile. “I thinks yous are pretty.”

I bat my eyelashes at her and fan my nails. “Me too.”

I’m not sure how I got talked into this, but I’m babysitting Sev. Before you go and ask why Barron would trust me with his kid, you might be surprised to know I watch his kids for him almost never. But, tonight Sev’s with me while Barron and Kacy take Camdyn out on a date. Why? Because Sev can be a fucking handful if you haven’t realized by now.

I have to admit, it’s not too bad, and my nails are on point. Don’t be jealous. I think about what it’d be like if Abbi and I would have had the baby. Would I have made a good dad? I like to think I would. We’ve been here for thirty minutes and she’s still alive.

As I sit on the couch trying to convince her we do not need to watchNightmare on Elm Street, Sev puts her tiny face right in front of mine, her eyes glowing in the Christmas lights still up on their tree. “What you doin’?”