Page 74 of Zero Divergence
The conversation continued for what seemed like endless minutes with Father David’s relentlessly insisting Marcus didn’t need a doctor and only required more prayer. It was both reckless and dangerous. Marcus’s responses were spoken barely above a whisper, and Royce couldn’t tell if his best friend was looking for absolution or permission, but it was clear he’d made his decision about ending his life.
Royce almost stopped the tape right there, but he didn’t. He needed to hear the rest, so he could understand where Marcus’s head had been. He would do it for his best friend, no matter how much it hurt.
“Maybe you’re right,” Father David said after a long exchange.
Marcus sniffled. “About my decision to set Candi free?”
“No, Marcus,” Father David replied. His voice was flat, robotically cold, and completely devoid of compassion or care. “Maybe this world would be better without you. May you burn in hell with the rest of the sinners.” There was another click, signaling the recording was over. He waited for them to resume talking during another session, but there was nothing else.
Royce gasped, then whispered, “The world isn’t better without you, Marcus.”
His hand shook hard, and he dropped the player on Bones, who didn’t appreciate the interruption to his nap. The cat dug his nails into Royce’s legs as he launched himself to the floor.
“Son of a bitch, Bonesington,” Royce hissed, looking down at the blood welling on his bare thighs just beneath his boxer shorts. “At least you didn’t neuter me.”
“We should probably put peroxide on those scratches,” Sawyer said.We.Such a small, simple word, but one that eased some of the pain lancing Royce’s soul. He wasn’t alone. He had Sawyer.
Royce hadn’t heard him come into the room and didn’t know how much Sawyer had overheard. “Oh, hey. Did I wake you up?”
Sawyer crossed the room and sat beside him. He picked up the mini player from the floor where it landed after bouncing off Bones. “No,” Sawyer said. “Bones nearly took me down in the hallway though.” Sawyer carefully set the recorder on the coffee table, then looped his arm around Royce’s neck, pulling him into his side.
“I listened to the tape, and now I know,” Royce said.
Sawyer held him tighter, resting his chin on top of Royce’s head. “You don’t have to talk about it.”
“I need to. Want to,” Royce amended. Sawyer didn’t say anything while Royce repeated what he heard on the tape. “Voices? Like a multiple personality disorder?” Royce asked, even though he didn’t expect Sawyer to have an answer. “How could I not know any of this was going on? What kind of friend was I?”
“The kind who would’ve stuck by Marcus’s side if you’d known. You and I both know there’s a lot of stigma that comes with mental illness, and people are afraid to talk about it. Look what happened when Marcus turned to someone for help. Unfortunately, he confided in a person who was clearly prejudicial about mental illness treatment,” Sawyer said.
“I’m so damn angry right now. I wish I could storm to the church and strangle Father David with my bare hands.”
Sawyer pressed a kiss on the top of his head. “We’ll dig up that bastard priest’s remains and piss on them.”
Royce chuckled despite the heartbreak. “I appreciate the thought, but I’m pretty sure it would be hard to discern Father David’s ashes from the church rubble.”
“Nonsense,” Sawyer countered. “His bones would’ve been mostly intact. It’s doubtful the fire burned hot enough to cremate him, and even so, some bone fragments would’ve remained. We’ll piss on those.”
Royce straightened and looked at his boyfriend. “You’re fucking scary. Do you know that?”
Sawyer brushed the hair off Royce’s forehead. “I never know when I’ll need the knowledge.”
Royce leaned in for a kiss. “You need to watch fewer documentaries.”
“We need to go back to bed. There are killers to catch and cases to solve.” Sawyer stood up and held out his hand to Royce. It wasn’t a sign of pity or an actual offer to help Royce rise to his feet; it was a show of unity.Us against the world.
Royce slid his fingers between Sawyer’s and stood up. Using their joined hands to pull him closer, Royce placed a kiss on Sawyer’s lips. “Me and you, GB.”
Sawyer nodded. “You and me, Ro.”
The shrill alarm pierced Royce’s turbulent sleep a few hours later. Sawyer reached over him and quickly shut it off before resting his head on Royce’s chest.
“I feel like roadkill,” Royce groused, trying to open his heavy eyelids.
Sawyer kissed his cheek, then rolled out of bed. “You look like it too.”
Royce found enough energy to lift his right arm and flip Sawyer off, earning a chuckle. “My eyes feel gritty, as if someone buried my face in sand.”
“It was Bones’s litter box,” Sawyer quipped. Someone was full of piss and vinegar this morning. “I think you should skip the workout and stay in bed longer.” His voice grew softer as he walked away from the bed. Seconds later, water splashed into the sink basin in the master bathroom, and Royce figured Sawyer was brushing his teeth. Then his sainted boyfriend returned to their bedroom and draped a warm, damp rag over his closed eyes.