Page 50 of You Make It Feel like Christmas

Nat gave a small gasp. “You’re in love with him? I thought you were just—?”

Maisie quieted her sister with a glance but replied, “Yes. In love.”

The waiter warily brought their tea. Once he’d left, Maisie started to speak again, feeling like she was on a roll.

Her mother lifted her hand. “Maisie, please. Let me process.” She stared at her youngest daughter.

“First, I don’t know why you said ‘actually.’ Of course he loves you back.

You’re beautiful and smart. You’re funny, creative, and full of happy energy.

He’s lucky to have you love him so there’s no ‘actually’ about it. ”

Maisie’s jaw dropped. Her mother took her time adding cream and sugar to her tea, staring back and forth between Natalie and Maisie as she stirred it.

“I’m sorry, Maisie,” her mother finally said, and Maisie was glad she didn’t have a mouth full of tea because she definitely would have spat it out.

“Thank you?” Maisie looked at Nat, who looked just as surprised.

Her mom looked at Nat. “There’s no guide for parenting, you know.

” She turned to Maisie. “I want all of you to have everything. Your father and I both believe in always pushing yourselves harder, going that extra bit. Striving for more, not becoming complacent, is important. You know how I grew up, and while I wanted to instill that passion for learning, the love of it, really, I shouldn’t have put so much emphasis on it.

There are certainly other ways to succeed, which I’m trying to open my eyes to more.

I don’t like the way things are between us and I realize that it’s largely my fault.

But I never meant for that to make you feel like less.

I’m sorry for that. What I should have focused on was your happiness.

But, I’m not perfect and I haven’t been fair to you. ”

Tears burned. “Thanks, Mom,” Maisie whispered.

“With you being the youngest, I worried that we’d overlooked you.

That you’d feel like we put all of our energy into your siblings and so I probably pushed harder than I should have.

Learning didn’t come as easily to you and you were always so artsy and, if I’m being honest, a little bit in your head.

I thought I needed to help you focus, push you more, so you wouldn’t sell yourself short and lose out on opportunities you deserve. ”

Maisie took a deep breath. “I don’t plan on being tested because at this point, I find ways to accommodate my challenges, but there’s a very real possibility that I have a learning disability. I know my teachers mentioned it to you several times throughout my school years.”

Her mom’s face grew pale. “But I dismissed it. Because I believed hard work could overcome any struggle.”

Swiping at a few stray tears, Maisie admitted something she never had.

“I did try really hard. And maybe if it hadn’t been so incredibly hard, I would have found more joy in school and I might have gone a different way.

But I truly can’t imagine doing anything else.

It fulfills me the same way teaching does for you or working with animals does for Nat. ”

Her mom dabbed the napkin against her under eye, her gaze watery. “I didn’t want you to settle for good enough but the truth is, if it makes you happy, then it is good enough and I shouldn’t have made you feel differently.”

Unsure what to do with this swift and sudden turn of events, Maisie looked at her sister.

“Would you have continued to push Maisie if she’d gone into a different field? Do you understand how incredible her work is? They’re not just photographs, Mom. They’re art. She sees things in a way none of us could and then she finds a way to share it with the people around her. It’s a gift.”

Her mom nodded. “I know it is. I just wasn’t sure it could give you the future and security you deserve and need.

The world isn’t an easy place to navigate and as wrong as it might be to say, money makes it easier.

I don’t want my children struggling to make ends meet or wondering where their next paycheck is coming from. ”

Maisie reached out and covered her mom’s hand with her own.

“Mom. I’m booked almost a year out. I was recently asked to do a gallery showing and the owner of the gallery told me today that she’s presold two of my photos.

I’m working at the university starting Monday and I was recently contacted by the mayor’s assistant to talk about the possibility of taking part in a museum retrospective on different Seattle neighborhoods that will highlight, through photography, their history. ”

“Holy shit,” Nat said.

“Language,” her mother said.

“Oh my God, Mom. It’s okay if I swear. It’s okay if Maisie isn’t a doctor or Dad’s tie doesn’t match your dress.

Stop worrying about the small things and start focusing on the fact that you have two daughters who are incredibly in love with their partners, as well as a son who can say the same,” Natalie said, then paused and pointed at Maisie.

“We’ll be coming back to that, Ms. Withheld-important-details.

” She reached out and covered her mom’s other hand.

“There’s no surefire recipe for happiness, Mom.

I love what I do but it isn’t my whole world.

Kyle and this baby are. Maisie could have ten degrees and still be miserable.

Money and prestige don’t equal perfection.

There are definitely unhappy millionaires out there.

I know when I have this baby, I’m going to want them to have the world, but honestly?

All I really want is for them to grow up strong, happy, and healthy. ”

Their mom gave a watery laugh, turned both of her hands so she was holding theirs. “Well, clearly, I don’t know everything. I didn’t know I still had so much to learn or that I’d be lucky enough to have two beautiful, successful daughters to teach me.”

They stared at each other, somewhat awkwardly, for a few more seconds until the waiter timidly asked if they’d like to eat.

Natalie laughed. “Yes, sorry. We definitely want to eat.”

They took a moment to order then Nat’s gaze settled on Maisie. “All right. Enough suppressed emotion and family drama. Time for details. I want to know all about the hot hockey player.”

“Natalie,” Maisie whispered in a harsh voice, sending a side nod to their mother .

Their mom picked up their tea. “Oh, no, honey. I don’t need what you kids call TMI, but I want to know stuff, too.

And the real reason I’m here, by the way, is to look at apartments for your father and I because we’ve made the decision to retire and move here permanently.

Your dad will probably still be busy all the time, but I want to be close by to watch my grandchild grow up.

And if Nick is going to be part of our lives and maybe give me more grandbabies, I want to know more about him and the ways he makes you so happy. ”

Nat whispered, “ All the ways,” cracking Maisie up.

All in all, it was an incredibly special and cathartic day. After lunch, they even did some shopping and Maisie bought a couple of adorable onesies for her baby niece or nephew. She’d felt her phone buzzing in her pocket but wanted to be really present and in the moment with her family.

It wasn’t until she crawled into Junie, a bit concerned at how long she took to warm up, that she let herself check her phone.

There were several texts from Nick and a voice message, so she pressed on that first.

“Hey, babe. I tried to phone a couple times and I left you a message. I promise you this isn’t how it’s going to be indefinitely but two things came up.

Both good. One is, the network wants to do an on-screen trial to see how I come across.

Sort of like an audition tape but live, in front of them.

The other thing is that commercial I told you I had to shoot end of next month moved up to tomorrow.

It’s probably a twelve- to fifteen-hour shoot.

Those things can go long. But this way, those things are done and it’s one less reason for me to have to fly back.

I don’t want you to be upset. I love you.

Call me when you get this, okay. Hope lunch with your sister was good. ”

Tears trickled down Maisie’s cheeks. She thought of all of the missed Christmases, birthdays, graduations, the times her mother wouldn’t stay home with her when she was sick because she had a lecture to give or her father had to go out of town last minute to help someone else.

She and Nick hadn’t even started their lives together yet and he’d already pushed off returning twice now.

Maisie didn’t want to live with the constant worry of whether or not something was going to pull him away.

If he’d continued to play hockey, this would be a regular thing.

Don’t let your fears overrule your heart.

He loves you. He’ll be back. She just couldn’t count on when.