Page 17

17. Violet :

(Bone: verb. Slang. To have sex)

‘We should have cupcakes for breakfast more often,’ Stella declared, staring longingly at the cupcake in her hand like she wanted to get a room with it.

To be fair, they were that good.

I looked up at the darkening skies and reached for my umbrella, ‘You better eat that quickly, it looks like it’s about to chuck it down. And that cupcake deserves more than to be rained on.’

‘You’re right,’ she replied, sinking her teeth into the frosting, then stopped walking. ‘God, it’s good.’

She was still licking her lips as I tugged her jacket, ‘Come on, we don’t have time to stop and appreciate cupcakes. We need to meet Charlie and also …’ I looked up again, ‘rain.’

It was definitely going to rain.

‘Wait!’ She took another bite. ‘Now we can walk. Seriously, these are really good. There’d better be more left.’

There were more, but not that many. Yes, I’d shared.

I wouldn’t have, but no one in their right mind could eat twenty-one full-sized cupcakes without being sick. No matter how much they wanted to.

And I did want to. I’d tried. The T, B and one of the Ls had all been eaten before yesterday was out. But thinking of my poor dentist, I decided sharing them while they were still fresh was the best answer, because it would have been criminal not to. A couple of girls on my floor in St Anne’s were the recipients of the W, A, E, N and the rest of the Ls. I’d taken a few more to my English and the Romantic Period tutorial first thing this morning – something I thought was wholly appropriate, given it was Valentine’s Day and what was more romantic than sharing a batch of fresh Valentine’s cupcakes made especially for you? Nothing.

But the question mark I’d saved for Stella, and the little shortbread symbol was the first thing to have been demolished. She bit into it like it was the head on a gingerbread man. My V was still sitting on top of my dresser, resting against the mirror. The cupcake underneath it, however, was digesting nicely in my tummy.

And the sugar rush? Yeah, that was pretty good too.

‘No one’s ever baked cupcakes for me,’ she grumbled, taking another bite that resulted in a blob of frosting wedging into her nose. ‘These are so good too. And chocolate chip. Your favourite. And they have violet frosting.’

‘I know.’ I could barely contain the smile; to be honest I didn’t want to. I hadn’t been able to for a few weeks now.

A boy I liked had asked me to be his Valentine on cupcakes he’d made in my favourite flavour.

It didn’t get better than that. It was the type of thing Taylor would write a song about.

‘I think I might cry from the cuteness,’ she wailed. ‘Or maybe throw up.’

‘Don’t throw up on me.’ Side-eyeing her as she threw the last piece in her mouth, she genuinely looked on the verge of tears. Unless she was acting. Or trying her ‘fake cry’ face. Either way, I couldn’t blame her, I knew how she felt. I could cry from the cuteness too.

‘Who even knew that Charlie Masterson could be swoony. Like, this is pretty swoony.’

‘I know.’

I looked back up at the sky, I shouldn’t have worn my green coat. It was going to get totally ruined if I got rained on.

‘Do you think he was this swoony with Evie?’ she asked, sucking the remaining frosting off her fingers and pulling them out with a loud pop. ‘Nah, there’s no way. You don’t cheat on someone this swoony.’

I didn’t answer, Stella seemed quite content having a conversation with herself while I prayed to make it to shelter before the clouds burst.

I also didn’t really want to think about whether Charlie may or may not have been swoony with Evie, because it wouldn’t be the first time I’d wondered. It was hard not to. It was bad enough I could still remember the period of time when they dated, or worse when they ended and he came to visit with his little broken heart.

I wasn’t trying to compare myself with Evie, but – knowing everything I now knew about Charlie – like the way he always held the back of my head when he kissed me, and never pulled away from my lips without leaving another quick smack or three. Or how he always wrapped his hand around mine to walk, unless the street was crowded and he needed to walk behind, then he’d thread our fingers together, so he didn’t have to let go. Because he never let go.

But, it was hard. Hard not to wonder what they’d been like together. If he’d done all those things with her.

Before, when it had been fake, I hadn’t cared enough to overthink it, because not caring about Evie protected my heart. Now though, now it was no longer fake, I’d found myself going back to the day I’d bumped into her along with the words which loved to echo around my head at the most inappropriate times.

She was like one of those dark clouds hovering over me, ready to burst and completely ruin my day.

Thankfully, a swift nudge in the ribs brought me back to the present.

I frowned at Stella. ‘Eh? What d’you do that for?’

‘I was asking about tonight.’ Her eyes had lit up with a grin spread across her face. Must be the sugar rush. ‘What’s going to happen? Do we need to put a sign on your door that says “ If this room’s rocking, don’t come knocking ”? Or a sock? Do some people put socks on their door?’

Socks. Something else I’d been trying not to think about too much, but this one was virtually impossible.

I groaned quietly, the girl made a very valid point. At some point, Charlie and I would be moving the kissing portion of our relationship to the next level. And I loved the kissing portion. LOVED it. Like, sitting in a tree all day next to Charlie and kissing, loved it.

But let’s face it, we were both young and full of hormones. And all the kissing had been doing was making me hungry for the next course – like the perfect appetizer.

‘Do you think that’s what the cupcakes were for?’ Stella continued, because my mind was wandering too much to keep up with her one-way conversation.

‘What d’you mean?’

‘You know … to move you to the next level. So you think he’s sweet and cute and wants to take off your knickers?’

I rolled my eyes. ‘I thought he was sweet and cute before the cupcakes.’

‘But maybe he wanted to reaffirm that, just to really make sure.’

‘I dunno. It doesn’t seem like his style. He seems too much of a gentleman,’ I replied, because that’s exactly what Charlie was.

A door-holding-open, chair-pulling-out, carrying-your-books type of guy.

Respectful. Courteous.

‘Huh. Didn’t expect that.’

I shook my head, ‘Yeah, me neither. I just assumed he’d be like Hugo, but a little more refined.’

‘Yeah.’

It had been a very pleasant surprise to discover that the Charlie Masterson I’d crushed on for years was actually more wonderful than I’d ever imagined. Kind, thoughtful, considerate. He was interested in my days. He wanted to hear about rehearsals. He insisted on practising with me. And in the past week instead of texting me to say good night, he’d call me for thirty seconds just to hear my voice.

Every day I discovered something new.

For example, he always sneezed in threes. He always liked to walk on the left-hand side. And if I checked his pockets, I could guarantee I’d find a pack of gum – no particular flavour preference – could be mint, could be cinnamon. Last week I’d found a packet of cola Hubba Bubba. Cola . We had to have a serious talk after that.

Cola aside, all these little unique Charlie details I was learning only made him easier to fall for – hard.

But apart from the one time he pushed me up against the wall and turned my bones to mush as he almost kissed the life out of me, I’d found very little evidence to suggest we’d be moving to the next level soon.

And thinking about it, I realized that we’d never spent time together in private. We’d kissed and kissed and kissed, but it had always been in places where other people were – the library, the theatre, the street. The natural progression had never happened because we’d never given it the opportunity.

‘Maybe he’s nervous, you know, because you’re you.’

‘What does that mean?’

She shrugged, unhelpful. ‘Just that you told him you’d crushed on him. And then obviously he’s best friends with your brother, and he’s not exactly going to go and talk to him about boning his sister, is he.’

‘God, why d’you have to say bone,’ I groaned, giving her a big shove, which almost pushed her into the nearby hedge, though all it did was make her laugh louder.

‘What?’ She lifted a shoulder, far too innocently, especially when she added the little flutter of eyelashes. Stella and innocent were not usually found together. Stella and trouble, or Stella and menace. Now those worked perfectly. ‘… All I’m saying is you might need to give the guy a little push in the bed-rocking department if you want your bed rocked tonight … ya know what I’m sayin’?’

I nodded. One deep nod. I knew exactly what she was saying.

‘Do you want your bed rocked tonight? I mean, I know you’ve wanted to bone Charlie since the dawn of time …’

‘Stop saying bone!’ I hissed, and she jumped out of the way before I could shove her again.

Her giggle turned into more of a cackle. ‘Well, do you?’

‘Of course I want to. I mean … look at him. Ugh … do you really think I’ll have to make the first move?’

‘I dunno. You might just need to show him that you’re interested in more than kissing.’ She stepped to the other side of the path to let a group of runners pass between us.

‘How do I do that?’ I asked, once she was next to me again. This was not a conversation to have at a loud volume.

‘What are your plans tonight?’

‘We’re going for dinner somewhere.’ When Charlie had brought the cupcakes over yesterday, along with asking me to be his Valentine, he’d also asked me on a date. And again, that was the thing, yesterday he’d only just caught me as I left. It was the first time he’d ever been up to my room.

Technically, it would be our first official proper date, because while the library and the theatre and the sandwich shop were all amazing, they weren’t date dates. Not like this one.

I just prayed it wouldn’t be as messy as the sandwich shop.

‘Great, I have the perfect dress you can wear.’

‘Stel, I can’t fit in your clothes.’

‘Don’t worry, you’ll fit in this, and it’ll hug you perfectly,’ she cackled, ‘he’ll want to eat you up.’

I groaned again, but didn’t reply. I had plenty in my wardrobe suitable for a date with Charlie and obviously I’d been mentally plotting it out since last night.

‘It’s like when I hooked up with bartender Brad –’

‘What’s like when you hooked up with bartender Brad?’

‘The little push you need to give Charlie, just do that.’

My eyes popped, right as my hand shot out to stop her talking. ‘No way. First off where am I going to find a –’

‘I didn’t mean literally . Just use your imagination. You still have the key to his place, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘There you go then,’ she added, with no further explanation. ‘This conversation might all be moot anyway. Charlie Masterson might pleasantly surprise you,’ she paused, throwing me a side eye I just caught the end of, ‘and bone you like you deserve.’

I reached to grab her, but she jogged the last few steps through the gates of Radcliffe, letting out a loud laugh. Tugging on her arm, I pulled her towards the fountain. ‘Come on, we wait over here and for god’s sake please don’t mention socks or beds or rocking of any kind. Or boning .’

‘Promise.’ Swiping a finger across her lips she threw away an invisible key, and moved to sit on the edge of the fountain wall.

‘Don’t sit there, you’ll get a wet arse.’

She shot back up. ‘So, we just wait here then?’

I nodded, and looked up at the big clock on the old stone building across the road. ‘Yep. Won’t be long, it’s nearly eleven and he’s usually the first out.’

‘Rushing out to you,’ she added, clasping her hands to her chest as the corner of her lip tugged upward.

I didn’t reply, because even though she was joking, that’s exactly what he did. Instead, I let the butterflies fluttering in my belly warm me from the inside.

‘So how far behind is Evie usually?’

I held in the groan, ‘To be honest, I’m not sure. I’m usually paying attention to Charlie instead of watching for her, I think I’ve only seen her twice.’

‘How many more classes do you have to wait now?’

‘Only four more. Then it’s Easter break,’ I replied.

This term was starting to snowball. It would be March in two weeks and we’d be in the final stretch of rehearsals for Twelfth Night and from what I remembered of previous Boat Races, Charlie’s training would become even more intense.

I was on the verge of asking Stella what she was planning for Easter when the clock chimed the hour. Ten seconds later the first flood of students burst through the doors, narrowly avoiding the clash with everyone rushing inside to get to their next class.

By the time Charlie appeared, my heart had already kicked up in anticipation of seeing him, like it did every week. He stopped at the entrance for the briefest second while his gaze searched until he spotted me.

‘Shiiit,’ muttered Stella as we both watched a grin spread across his face while he strode purposefully toward us swinging a big rolled umbrella like a walking stick. The sharp line of his jaw, the pop of his dimple, the way his long lashes almost batted as his smile grew. Even under the padding of his body warmer you could see the heaviness of his muscles, thick wide thighs clad in jeans stretching out with each of his long strides.

Wrap a ribbon around him and he’d be nothing short of the best present ever.

‘I know.’

‘If you don’t bone him tonight, I think I might have to.’

She was still moaning from the sharp elbow I’d rammed into her side when Charlie stopped in front of us. He reached around and tugged on my ponytail, bringing my mouth close enough for a quick smack of his lips on mine.

‘Hi.’

‘Hi,’ I smiled back.

He turned to Stella who was groaning and rubbing her side, far too dramatically. ‘You alright there?’

‘She’s fine,’ I replied, glancing over his shoulder to spot Gordon rushing towards us, backpack far too full, as usual.

‘Charlie, I wish you wouldn’t rush off every time. You never told me if you can make Tuesday next week.’

‘Hi Gordon,’ I smiled, because as usual he didn’t seem to notice when I was standing next to Charlie.

His head flicked between Stella and me, and I swear he didn’t know which one of us had spoken. Though seeing as I was the only one he’d met, he replied to me as the safe bet. ‘Oh, yes, hi Violet. How are you?’

‘I’m very well, thank you. How’s physics life?’

‘Oh, you know,’ he pushed his glasses up his nose, ‘full of Energy.’

I assumed that was some kind of physics joke given there was now a broad smile spread across his face, and Charlie started laughing. I was still trying to figure out what exactly he’d said, especially when Stella threw her head back with a loud guffaw, and clasped her chest.

‘Full of Energy. You’re funny. That was funny.’

Granted I didn’t know Gordon well, but I’m not sure I’d ever seen someone look so pleased with themselves. It was short lived, however, because his attention went back to Charlie.

‘Don’t pretend you understood that,’ I hissed, while the two of them discussed whatever it was Gordon had rushed over here for.

‘I’m an actor,’ she replied, flicking her hair over her shoulder. ‘But it was funny.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Whatever.’

Maybe it was because I didn’t laugh at his joke that he said goodbye to Charlie and scurried off without giving me a backward glance.

‘Interesting guy,’ said Stella, pulling on a thick strand of hair and looping it around her fingers as she watched him leave.

‘That’s Gordon,’ Charlie and I replied in unison, like that explained everything. Though it kind of did.

‘Alright then,’ she grinned, and her eyes flicked up to Charlie. ‘Oh, hey, Happy Valentine’s Day, Chuckles.’

‘Happy Valentine’s Day, Stella.’

‘And may I congratulate you on some very nice cupcakes? Great touch. Delicious,’ she nodded, solemnly. ‘ Great British Bake Off worthy, I’d say.’

If it was possible for a person to explode with happiness, I’d say Charlie was on the verge, ‘Thank you! That’s what I said. Yes! They are.’

‘You told someone your cupcakes were Great British Bake Off worthy?’

‘I told myself.’ His grin was wide and toothy.

‘Of course you did.’

‘What? I always make it a point to agree with myself.’ He chuckled as he leaned in, planting a kiss on my cheek.

‘You know something?’ Stella began, and we both turned to find her staring at us intently. ‘You two are actually quite cute. I wasn’t quite so sure about this,’ her finger flicked between Charlie and me, ‘you know given that morning you banged heads, but I see it now. I like it.’

Charlie cocked his head, ‘Thanks Stella. I appreciate the approval, not that I asked for it.’

‘Well, you know, I like to give it anyway.’ She smiled sweetly, too sweetly. ‘You might not have asked for it, but you do need it.’

I bit down on my lip before I started laughing.

‘Does Big Bad Brooksy still think this is fake?’

Charlie and I nodded our heads in sync, while Stella’s face lit up with an unparalleled level of glee. Or mischief. It was hard to tell. Probably both.

‘Oh pleeeeease let me be there when you break the news.’

Beyond saying we needed to tell my brother we hadn’t discussed it. I was still pissed off about the incident outside the gym. But I knew it was starting to weigh on Charlie, more than I realized, seeing as his face suddenly lost all colour and his smile vanished.

I slipped my hand into his and squeezed it, ‘Hey, it’s not going to be that bad.’

He nodded, but there was no conviction in it.

‘Charlie, it won’t be.’

‘I think it might be,’ he replied quietly. ‘But I’ll deal with it.’

‘ We’ll deal with it.’

He glanced at me, a small smile curving his lips. ‘Yeah.’

‘Hey, if you need me to be back up when you tell him, I’m always happy to take on Hugo,’ declared Stella, letting out a bark of laughter. ‘Unless you change your mind, in which case I’ll have to take back everything I said about the cupcakes.’

Thankfully, that seemed to raise a smile, even though my insides were now doing somersaults at the thought of him changing his mind about the two of us. He must have noticed my body tensing, because this time it was him squeezing my hand.

‘I’m not changing my mind. I also realized I liked you way before he decided no one can date you. He will have to deal with it.’

My teeth, my jaw, my fists, everything clenched. Were we living in the Dark Ages? Or Tudor England? Or even the 1950s? If Charlie wasn’t around I’d date every single one of his crew mates just to piss him off. Yes. I was that petty.

‘Hey,’ Charlie nudged me, totally misreading the annoyance on my face, ‘it’ll be okay. We’re all adults.’

‘ We are. The jury’s out on my brother.’

Charlie snorted a laugh, which seemed to do the trick in smoothing out the worry on his face. He turned to Stella. ‘So, what are your big Valentine’s plans?’

Stella’s brows knitted together tightly as her eyes darted between Charlie and me. Quickly. Suspiciously quickly. ‘What? What does that mean?’

I could see Charlie biting down the smile; he wasn’t doing a very good job of it, but he was trying. I’d not mentioned his theory to Stella, even though he brought it up nearly every time I saw him. Instead, I’d been on the lookout, not that I’d noticed a single thing going on between them beyond the usual sniping from Stella, but Charlie was adamant – Leo and Stella were hooking up.

I swear to God if he was right, I’d never hear the end of it.

‘I just remember you saying you had plans tonight. Remember, we were all in the theatre and Leo asked you.’

‘Oh … um …’ she spluttered, her eyes darting to mine and back so quickly I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined it. ‘Oh yeah, that was just to get him to shut up. No plans tonight, just me, Ben and Jerry. Plus The Holiday , I think.’

‘ The Holiday ?’ A small crease formed on Charlie’s forehead as he looked at me, ‘That’s a Christmas movie, isn’t it?’

I nodded, ‘Yes. But it’s the only one acceptable to watch any time of year. Plus, it’s Stella’s favourite.’

‘Oh.’ His mouth held in a straight line while he tried to understand, but clearly didn’t. ‘Cool, well, enjoy it. What’s Leo doing then?’

‘I dunno. Why d’you keep asking me about Leo. Why would I know what he’s doing on Valentine’s? Probably annoying some poor girl by talking about himself all night,’ she snapped.

‘I only asked once,’ replied Charlie calmly, and there was no disguising the amusement in his voice.

‘Well, I don’t know what he’s doing.’

Charlie’s head bobbed and he looked up to the skies. ‘Come on, I’ll walk you two to rehearsals.’ He opened his umbrella, big enough to shelter the three of us. ‘Maybe Leo will be there, and we can ask him.’

If I’d been paying attention to more than Stella grumbling about Leo, or the feel of Charlie’s hand sliding into the back pocket of my jeans, or the way his lips softened as they pressed into my cheek, I’d have noticed Evie storming past with enough fury to open the Gates of Hell.

And I would have known exactly why the rain clouds chose that moment to break.