Page 14
Annalise
“Y our Grace, you must stop crying.” Joan’s words are gentle as they fill the air of the carriage, yet they do little to comfort me. I am aware that most of the time, Joan’s advice is for my own good. But at this moment, I cannot find the helpfulness in her words.
I look up at her, letting my irritation shine through.
“The king already tells me what to do. I will not have you doing the same to me in private,” I snap.
Joan makes a face, sitting back in her seat.
“I am only trying to help. You don’t know what the king has dragged you into. You need to be prepared for our society,” she says.
“And crying because I’ve been separated from my son makes me ill-prepared?” I ask.
Joan’s eyes level with mine as she speaks.
“No. It makes you weak, and weakness will be disposed of in our society. People will begin to wonder why you caught the king’s eye, why he gave the child you birthed his kingdom, and why he even gave you the honor of birthing his heir. Your son will already be seen as different because you are his mother. Do you want to give them a reason to punish him for your weakness? Do you want to be seen as the king’s weakness?” she asks.
My gaze shifts to the window. I want to scream at everyone that I never asked for any of this. But I know it does not matter. In their eyes, if I didn’t want this, I should have never had Ciel. And it’s like Cyrus said, Ciel didn’t ask for any of this.
“Why do you care so much what I do?” I ask, looking at Joan.
“Because whatever you do reflects on my society. If you fail, the king fails, and my life will be chaos because of it. The king has chosen you for now, so I must do everything in my power to ensure your success,” she says.
Joan snatches my hand in hers, instantly catching my attention. Her dark eyes are focused on mine as she tries to convey the severity of the situation.
“What you want, you shall never have. You are the first and only human to ever be in this position. You will be in history books. But you must make sure that whatever it is they write about you is something powerful. If you want to leave a legacy for your son, you start by solidifying your place by the king’s side,” she says.
I blink at Joan in confusion, garnering a look of irritation from her.
“Starting with his bed, Your Grace.”
Shock crosses her features as I snatch my hand out of her grasp.
“Are you mad—”
“The king still sleeps with other women. He never even contemplated such a thing when he had fallen for you. This means that he is still angry with you, and nothing is set in stone. The fact that you bore his heir has given you the title you currently have. You must knock down any obstacles in your way, including the women he keeps at night. You were once the only woman he would touch. It should remain that way. You cannot allow him to find pleasure in other women. He is slandering your name. You cannot give him or the council any reason to believe you are meant for anything other than being his queen.”
I let out a bitter laugh.
“Is that what he plans to do? Make a human his queen?” I ask.
Joan doesn’t seem amused, however, her expression darkening.
“That is exactly what he plans to do. It is your job to show our society why he has made such a drastic judgment,” she says.
I silently mull over Joan’s words. I know she is right, but as I think of the torture and pain I endured in his palace before Ciel was born, I can’t seem to uncover exactly what Cyrus saw in me in the first place. His lust for me turned into an obsession, something even now he openly claims is a mistake.
“But I don’t know why he’s made such a drastic judgment. He doesn’t even know why,” I say desperately.
Joan shakes her head, looking out the window.
“Then give him a reason,” she says.
The remainder of the trip takes the day and to my relief, Joan eventually falls asleep to leave me alone with my thoughts. As I look out the window, I can tell by the thickening greenery we are deep in the mountains. Cyrus once spoke of giving me this estate. In our final days together, he spoke of hiding me away in the mountains, claiming that I somehow had his heart and mind. But now his tone about it has changed completely. He no longer plans to hide me. He plans to put me on display for his people to either accept or discard. And if I fail, it is Ciel’s life that will be ruined.
I take a deep breath, letting my frustrations go. Cyrus has Ciel now, and Ciel knows his father. There is nothing I can do to change that. Ciel’s future now relies on me until he is old enough to defend himself. And being a human alone threatens it much more than if I were a beast.
The carriage slows, pulling my gaze to the window. My eyes widen when I see the estate that looms ahead. I can see why it’s considered the royal estate. The very distance of the estate is astounding. From this distance, I can see it stretches beyond my peripheral. I was never able to see much of the beast kingdom during the war. I only ever saw the inside of the palace and Felix’s estate. Judging by the size of this estate, the royal family is one of great privileges. The estate itself sits on what looks like a massive vineyard, the walls stretching toward the sky. And since spring has long since passed, the flowers are in full bloom.
It’s enchanting.
I gently shake Joan awake as we continue up the drive, pulling into the circle that gives me the perfect view of the entrance. As they always are, servants are lined up, standing silently with their hands behind their backs as Cyrus and my carriages approach. Two servants approach our separate carriages, pulling both doors open for us to exit. I watch Cyrus step forward with all the arrogance and confidence I’m accustomed to when regarding him.
The servants standing all bow to their king, who offers them only a nod as he turns to face me. I bow as well, waiting for his approach. I keep my head down as he approaches, waiting until he stands over me to straighten, looking him in the eyes.
“You survived a trip without Ciel,” he says mockingly.
Joan’s words wash over me, and instead of holding my tongue as usual, I decide to respond.
“Of course. He and I are just not used to being apart. But if it is what’s best for him, then I will be fine,” I say.
Cyrus doesn’t respond. He only watches me for a moment more before holding his arm out to me. I know the customs of nobility from living as a slave in the palace, so I place my hand in the crook of his arm, allowing him to lead me into the estate.
We silently make our way up the steps, and the doors open before we arrive, revealing the massive entryway. My eyes widen as I take in the marbled flooring and the double-spiraled staircase, both of which lead to another level with a large painting of Cyrus’s father. My grip involuntarily tightens around his arm, and he notices.
I feel him watching me out of my peripheral, but I can’t bring myself to look away as memories of my days in the camp and the torture his father endured until his last moments bombard me.
“He was a great ruler. Greater than anyone before him. It felt wrong to remove him from the estate, even if it has fallen to me now,” Cyrus says, following my gaze.
I silently nod, agreeing without speaking. His father was a kind and gentle beast. He cared about me and Ciel even when heading to his death. He was more concerned with me leaving for my safety than he was for himself. And in his last moments, he never faltered. The comfort he tried to relay to me, although he was the one facing death, haunts me. Because he loved his son so much, he never cared about his decision to be with a human. From the moment he saw me, he accepted me as his own and tried to help me.
He was a great king.
“He was kind, your father,” I say, facing Cyrus.
His dark eyes soften only slightly as he studies me, a light laugh leaving his lips.
“He even managed to impact you in his final days,” he says looking back to the painting.
“His ideals are what killed him and weakened our kingdom in the first place. I can never be like him, but I am glad that you were able to encounter the kindness he produced for many. In a perfect world, his vision could succeed. But this is a world ruled by strength… not kindness,” Cyrus says.
I take the moment to study him in confusion. I don’t understand how Cyrus turned out this way. How did he become so cruel and heartless when his father was so kind? My eyes drift to the faded scars that wrap around his skin. The lightened skin wraps around his throat, along his jaw, and across his face, covering his left eye.
“His ideals are what saved me and Ciel,” I say.
Cyrus’s gaze meets mine, and I muster up the strength to hold his gaze.
Cyrus smiles, looking back at his father’s painting. “One day, all of this will be Ciel’s. And he will decide if my paintings are worth keeping.”
Cyrus has once again separated himself from me. Relief is at the forefront of my mind, but Joan’s words torment me as well. My place at Cyrus’s side came from his overbearing need to be with me every night. But now, he speaks to me as if I am either a stranger or he detests me. My existence has become a task for him, especially in trying not to kill me for what I’ve done. And now that something has forced him to place me in this position, he is forced to reconcile the feelings he doesn’t want to.
My gaze shifts to the large window and the cliffside beyond it. This is what I once meant to Cyrus. He was willing to give me this and allow me a life free from the beast society.
I let out a bitter laugh.
I loathed those words that day, but how I would jump at the offer if it were given to me now.
I look up as Joan moves behind me, making the bed. That was once my task in Cyrus’s chambers. When I think back, I’m sure I was assigned such a task so that he could catch me at the end of the night. But even if I managed to make it out of his chambers before he arrived, I was always summoned for his late-night activities. I let out a deep breath, feeling my flesh crawl at the thoughts ripping through me.
“Do you truly think he will make me his queen?” I ask, looking at Joan in the mirror.
Shock crosses her features as she studies me before a small smile forms. She releases a breath and makes her way to where I am seated, pulling my hand in hers.
“You went from being a palace slave that disposed of dead bodies to a duchess. He is already putting his plan in place,” she says.
Tears burn my eyes, spilling down my cheeks.
“He’s going to hurt me before he loves me, Joan.” I squeeze her hand tightly, looking into the dark eyes of the beasts. “I’m frightened.”
She offers me a pity-filled smile, nodding her head in understanding.
“This is where you begin building your strength. This is for Ciel. Remember that always,” she says.
I close my eyes, thinking of my son. His existence was something I never thought I would welcome. When I initially found out about the pregnancy, the first thing I planned to do was terminate it. But as I imagine his smile, his laugh, and his happiness, I find it easier to make this sacrifice. This is for him so that his life will be better.
“Take me to the king.”
Joan, along with three other servants, follows me through the dark halls of the estate. Cyrus’s room isn’t too far from mine, but the closer I get, the more anxious I feel. Joan says I must pull his attention back to me, but I haven’t the slightest clue how to do such a thing. I never vied for his attention when I was a slave. He somehow found an interest in me.
By the time we reach Cyrus’s chambers, I am a mess of anxiety. Cyrus’s servants stand outside of his chambers, shifting their attention to us as we approach. I’m shocked when there isn’t a woman moaning on the other side of the door. It’s silent.
Cyrus’s servants knock on the door lightly to announce my arrival.
“Your Majesty, the duchess is here to see you.”
My adrenaline spikes as the sound of Cyrus’s approach fills the hall. I grip my fingers even tighter to myself as the door opens slowly to reveal the beast behind my terror.
Cyrus stands in the open doorway in only pants, his chest bare, other than the long white tresses that fall around him. His dark eyes roam over me in amusement, his head angling slightly to mock me without speaking. A sinister smile forms as his eyes rake over my body, forcing me to fight the visible shudder threatening my spine. He raises a brow, and it takes me a moment to realize just how pathetic I am standing in front of him. My eyes are wide, my body rigid with fear—and I have yet to greet him.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out except a shaky breath.
“Leave us,” he says, chuckling.
Each servant bows simultaneously before leaving me alone with Cyrus. He opens the door wider, stepping to the side to command me to enter without having to say a word. The room is large and fit for a king. To my relief, the bed is made. My eyes shift to the table near the window, and I take in the papers on it, accompanied by a glass of wine.
He was working on something before I arrived.
The door closes, pulling my attention. “You’ve come to me without being summoned,” Cyrus says, making his way back to the table.
Once he’s seated, his eyes shift to meet mine.
“To what do I owe this act of…bravery?” he laughs, taking a sip of his wine.
I try and find strength in Joan’s words, but I can’t even recall what she said as Cyrus watches me. It flusters me how he sits, watching me without malice for the first time in a while, and yet I am paralyzed in fear before him.
“I… have a demand,” I say softly.
Cyrus leans back in his seat, his brow raised as he studies me. He’s interested in what I have to say. But now that I have his full attention, my tongue suddenly feels like lead. My fingers shakily pull at the strings of my dress, loosening the ties.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
I inhale a deep breath, forcing my legs to carry me towards him as I let the dress fall, stepping out of it as I approach. Cyrus doesn’t look away, his interest piqued and his lust visible in his dark gaze. He watches me until I am standing over him, fully naked.
“Are you bargaining, Annalise?” he asks.
The small bit of bravery I had dissipates almost instantly as he stands, shifting the dynamic between us immediately.
“You said bearing your seal means that my life is yours—Ah!” A gasp leaves my lips as he places his hand around my waist, pulling me flush against him. He smiles, but it’s mocking as his finger traces my cheek.
“Oh, Anna… false bravery does not suit you. You haven’t the slightest clue what you are asking of me,” he says.
His eyes dip, following the trail his finger leaves over my breastbone, lingering.
“You haven’t the slightest clue the restraint I have put in place for your sake. And offering yourself up to me like this… will not end well for you,” he says.
His eyes continue to linger over my body as he speaks, and his breathing shifts to a slow and deep pattern. I bring my fingers to his face, placing them under his chin to lift his gaze to mine.
“Take me as you once did, Your Majesty. I will satisfy you as I once did… only me,” I whisper.
A low growl emits from deep within his chest, and I see him fighting with himself for control.
“And this is your demand?” he asks.
“Yes—Ah!”
Cyrus has me up and across the room in seconds, tossing me on the bed. My eyes are wide as he crawls over me, his dark gaze similar to what it was the night he gave me his seal.
“Fine. I will give you what you want. But do not complain to me if I go too far.”