Page 10

Annalise

C yrus has always had a temper. One that, up until my running away, I was accustomed to and knew like the back of my hand. Felix, however, is a beast that I am unfamiliar with. All I know is that he undoubtedly does not like me, and he does not like me near Dimitri. Two things of which he is currently about to see the moment he reaches this room. My gaze shifts to Danielle, and I expect to see fear in her eyes as well, but I see none. She has a smile on her lips, almost as if she is happy to have caused the level of discord that will be running through the estate the moment Felix discovers us.

Her eyes meet mine moments before Felix enters. “I’m glad you finally see what Dimitri sacrificed for you.”

The doors to the room crash open, and Felix enters with a look of rage in his eyes, taking in the sight before him. He said earlier that the reaction Cyrus had at the river was his inner beast coming to the forefront. As I watch him now, I can’t help but wonder if this is the moment I will see his inner beast. But the longer I study him, I see that he is not going to lose his temper. He watches the room with a calming rage that makes me tremble, but I can do nothing but watch him and hope that I will not suffer because of it.

His gaze sweeps over the room, lingering on me for an instant before he speaks.

“Out.”

I immediately stand, bowing to make my way out of the room when I hear the cry of Danielle. Felix has his hand around her throat, his rage prominent as he grits through his teeth. “You know me well enough to know that you have fucked up.”

I take a small step toward Felix out of reaction, and his gaze whips to meet mine, his eyes seeming to light up.

“I said out.”

It feels like I’m a prisoner in this place. But I see now I have no right to feel that way—not when Dimitri is the true prisoner. I let out a groan, not wanting to let my thoughts get the best of me. Dimitri tracked me down and brought me back here. He…

I release a frustrated sigh.

After seeing him, I can’t maintain my rage, especially when my son is babbling joyously in my arms, all because Dimitri sacrificed. I pull Ciel in close, placing a kiss on his head as my thoughts turn somber. I know Dimitri doesn’t feel the same way he once did about me. I see it in the way he avoids me and refuses to look in my direction. I recall what I said to him the day he caught me. I called him a traitor. I told him my father would be disgusted.

Shame washes over me like a frigid splash of water. I did leave him. I knew what I was doing. I gave up on him, and even now, he hasn’t given up on me. I can’t imagine what happened to him while I was gone… what kind of torture he endured because I sent him back to Cyrus’s war camp and ran away.

I release a bitter sigh.

“I’m fucking horrible,” I murmur.

Ciel’s head perks up, and his lively babbles fill the air as he notices a presence before I do. I look up, my heart jumping in my chest, when I see Felix standing in the doorway of the sitting room. He’s leaning against the wall with a look of indifference on his face as he studies Ciel. But Ciel seems to know him. And enjoy his presence.

Out of reaction, I pull Ciel closer to me. Felix laughs at my action and makes his way toward both of us.

“I may dislike you, but I am not foolish enough to harm you while the king is away. He would have my head,” he says.

Felix makes his way to the cushions across from us plopping down. I don’t know what his sudden presence could mean, but my mind is telling me it can’t be good. I never pegged Felix as the type to care whether or not I had company.

I keep my eyes on Ciel as I speak.

“Why did you do that to him?” I’m met with silence, so I lift my gaze, meeting Felix’s. “Why did you beat Dimitri like that?”

Felix’s dark eyes study me intensely before he finally gestures to the servant in the doorway.

“Bring me a drink,” he says.

His gaze shifts to meet mine, and he once again studies me before finally speaking.

“Dimitri and I have an understanding. He knew what his actions would entail and welcomed the consequences. Don’t make things harder for him when you don’t understand his situation,” he says.

Just as he finishes, the servant brings him his drink. He takes a small sip, his eyes falling to Ciel. A small smile appears on his lips as he studies him.

“I guess Dimitri saw what Cyrus and I could not,” he murmurs more to himself than to me.

“…Will you heal him?” I ask.

“No. This is his punishment. I will not deviate from it. That is how this works. That is how you break someone. You do not change just because you’ve grown fond of them.” Irritation laces his tone as he speaks, and I know he is referring to Cyrus.

This seems like dangerous territory, so I try and change the subject.

“Why did you come here?” I ask.

“To greet the prince, of course. He is going to be… magnificent someday,” he says.

He watches me as he speaks, and I know he’s hinting at something I don’t see. He’s enjoying it as well.

“You can’t sense it, can you?” he says with a smile.

His gaze shifts to Ciel, who is once again holding his hands out to Felix. To my utter horror, he leans forward, crawling toward Felix. I want to snatch him away and hold him close, but something tells me not to. This is, once again, something I do not understand.

Felix smiles as Ciel reaches him, picking him up. He keeps his eyes focused on Ciel as he speaks.

“He’s exhibiting so much power at such a young age. He may even surpass Cyrus someday. It is something that every king dreams will happen for their children. And it seems that Ciel has done just that,” he says.

“But he’s human as well. So how could that be possible?” I whisper.

Felix laughs.

“If you dig a canal from the ocean to a small pool of fresh water, will it remain freshwater?” he asks.

My gaze slowly shifts from Felix to Ciel. He’s so small, so young, yet everyone seems to sense this prowess in him that I cannot. I suddenly don’t know what to feel.

“You have certainly earned your place at Cyrus’s side. He may not know it yet, but he will find a way to make you his queen. You have given him an heir to rival all that came before him,” he chuckles.

His eyes shift to me. “Once his anger toward your betrayal dies down, he will reward you.”

My mind immediately shifts to what Cyrus’s father said to me about my pregnancy.

“My son has given you a living, breathing pardon.”

I release a bitter chuckle, pulling Felix’s attention.

“I don’t want to be a part of your society. I only want—”

“To raise your son away from all of this?” he laughs as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard.

Maybe it is.

“If that was what you wanted, you should have thrown yourself on a blade the moment you encountered Cyrus. It’s far too late for any of that now. You belong to him. He wants you more than you know. More than he refuses to acknowledge,” he says, releasing a bitter chuckle.

His gaze grows distant as a memory seems to consume him.

“I’ve never seen him so obsessive over someone. Especially a human,” he says.

I note that Felix’s usual hostility toward me has somewhat died down. If anything, he seems much less irritated at this moment as he plays with Ciel.

“Dimitri was the same when he came to me, taking broken bones in an instant if it meant he could attempt an escape—all because of you,” Felix says.

A light knock sounds in the doorway, and we both look to see the servant who usually comes when it’s time for Ciel to go. She silently enters the room, and my heart grows heavy as she makes her way toward Felix. Felix silently hands Ciel over to her, his eyes focused on me as he does so.

Before she can turn away, he speaks.

“Are you going to allow his mother to say goodbye?” he asks.

The servant’s eyes widen, and she bows. “Of course, Your Grace.”

I rise, making my way to where she stands, placing my hand on Ciel’s body. He’s warm. I can already tell that just by being around his own kind, he has changed. I place a soft kiss on his head, reveling in the natural scent of him. He was once all mine, and now I must share him with strangers. He watches me with a knowing stare, his expression blank as he reaches for my face. I lean into his hand, allowing him the contact.

“Goodnight,” I murmur.

To my shock, a smile appears. I guess they were right. He does understand. The servant once again bows, leaving me alone with Felix. The silence is deafening, and I am once again reminded of just how terrifying this beast is.

“I should be getting to bed as well—”

“No,” he interrupts.

I look up, and Felix is gesturing for the servant to bring another glass.

“I am curious, what it is about you that has brought Cyrus to his knees,” he says.

He gestures to the cushions opposite him, and I slowly make my way over and take a seat. Within the next second, the servant appears, placing the wine glass in my hands. I study the dark liquid in confusion, finally finding the courage to meet his gaze.

“Why?” I ask.

Felix lets out a bitter laugh as if it’s obvious.

“I am sure that once Cyrus returns, he will bestow some form of nobility upon you. I want to understand why he would go against everything our kind believes in for such an ungrateful rat,” he says.

The words echo in my head over and over as I take a sip of the wine.

“Ungrateful rat.”

I fail to see how wanting to survive is ungrateful, but as Dimitri and I chose different paths regarding our master’s mercy, I almost understand Felix’s frustrations.

I silently study him as he studies me. The first time I encountered Felix was when I was a slave, pulled out of my bed in the middle of the night to be the entertainment at one of Cyrus’s sexually driven gatherings. I had no idea he was a beast who had taken the man I loved as his own. He is the beast Cyrus trusts most in the world and sees me as a threat just by breathing. And now, he is fixated on understanding Cyrus and Dimitri’s reckless abandon when faced with me.

Felix releases a bitter chuckle, pulling me from my thoughts.

“I’ve been by Cyrus’s side since we were kids. I’ve never seen him so infatuated. Yet I cannot see where exactly that infatuation comes from,” he says.

Now, it’s my turn to chuckle, courtesy of the alcohol affecting my system.

“You’re not the only one,” I murmur.

My eyes widen when I realize my words, and I am seconds from jumping out of my seat to apologize. Felix, however, doesn’t seem as hostile as he was before, gesturing for me to continue.

“Go on,” he says.

I look down at my almost empty glass. It’s strange that each time a beast wants something from me, they fill me with their alcohol.

“He hates me. He’s always hated me from the moment I entered the palace. He let it be known on more than one occasion and never bothered showing me the mercy you think he did. That’s why I left. I thought for sure if I didn’t leave, he would have killed me that night. I don’t know any more than you do why the king tolerates me,” I murmur.

“But I can’t speak for Dimitri,” I add softly, bringing the glass back to my lips. “I don’t know what’s going through his mind.”

Felix releases an irritated breath, standing. He snatches the glass from my hands before I can take another sip. I watch him quietly as he places my drink on the nearest end table, looking out the window at his estate.

“Cyrus has always been fond of the finer things in life. I never faulted him for indulging. But to take things so far…” Felix trails off, his attention remaining on the grounds.

I bite my tongue, praying the alcohol stops giving me so much strength to want to talk back to this beast. Felix’s contempt for me is apparent. He speaks of me as if I am something horrible brought unto the king.

Felix turns to face me, his gaze narrowing.

“Sit up straight.” His words come out harsh, catching me off guard. But my muscles tense to heed his command, ignoring the alcohol in my system.

Felix continues to eye me, and I know he’s picking out my flaws.

“Hands in your lap.” He angles his head slightly. “Pick a side of the chair and stop breathing so heavily.”

After a minute of watching me adjust, he chuckles to himself.

“You may look the part, but you must also embody it. You will not be able to get away with your outbursts and your lack of heeding a command. You cannot brace at him, and you cannot question him. He is king. His word is law. If you disobey him, you will be no better off than Marzia,” he says.

The mention of Marzia makes my blood run cold. I don’t dare ask Felix what happened to her, but I can guess by the way he speaks of her.

“I don’t think Cyrus himself understands just how reckless it is to give you this honor. No one is above the king. Especially a human who was granted a position in life beasts could only dream of having. A position that families spend generations breeding their lines for. You will jeopardize Ciel’s place on the throne if you show an ounce of weakness. If you falter, if you show disobedience, it will fall on your son.”

Felix turns to look at me, his gaze narrowing.

“Think very carefully of the path you have placed yourself on by giving birth to the king’s heir and the sacrifices those who care about you have made. Don’t screw this up as you always seem to do, human. This is no longer about you.”