Page 9 of Wrath Of Suns And Shadows (The Osparia #2)

Chapter Five

Luana

I watched as Ace’s breathing became even and deep in sleep. Gods, I didn’t deserve his kindness. His care . . . His love?

If he could even feel such things for me.

I didn’t understand how we were so intrigued by each other. I could have recognized him in a crowd of people from the moment we’d met. As if something inside me knew exactly where to look for him. Every time his touch caressed my skin, my body lit aflame and buzzed with life—light?

As if my very life force yearned for him.

I didn’t understand what this feeling was, and instead of embracing it, I tucked it away behind a wall in my mind.

Everyone, I presumed, dreamt of the day they would find their mate, but I had long lost hope that I had one at all. I still had my doubts. Even if he was mine, I didn’t think I’d be able to love him the way he deserved.

I ran my hands down my arms, trying to be rid of the filth that lingered beneath my skin from my nightmares, but nothing was there anymore.

I pulled the covers up all the way under my chin and stared out of the dark window.

I watched as the metal lanterns flickered outside until they went out, leaving only the vast amount of stars in the moonless sky.

I knew it was up there somewhere, but I couldn’t see it from where I lay.

I was reminded of myself.

Lost within an inky vastness, where small twinkles of light kept me somewhere lingering on the path I craved but couldn’t carve out for myself.

My body ached, and the fatigue was setting in even stronger than before, but I didn’t want to go to sleep. I had always done my best to only sleep in small increments because my mind was too dark of a place to wander alone.

I looked over at Ace and admired his masculine details, the hard lines of his jawline, how each of his onyx feathers were all slightly different, just like a bird’s. All unique and exquisite in their own way.

Ace was a beautiful male . . . One of the most beautiful I’d ever seen.

One I believed I could never have. He deserved to feel loved in every way, with every touch and caress a partner could give, and I didn’t know if I could ever be that for him.

That was my last thought before I closed my eyes and tried to rest as best I could.

The warmth of the sun coming through the open window woke me.

My body ached, but I didn’t feel as weak as I had last night.

My body had started healing on its own again, indicating that the poison was gradually leaving my system.

I wanted some fresh air and breakfast, and I knew the perfect place.

I got to my feet quietly as light snores left Ace.

He was still sleeping, and I didn’t want to wake him.

Last night had been stressful for all of us, but I could feel the desperation in him after everything that had happened.

My chest churned with emotion when I thought about the way his eyes begged me to stay with him.

How he hummed the entire flight to get me to stay here.

It did things to my heart that I shouldn’t allow as broken as I was, regardless of whatever connection we shared.

I stood straighter, testing my body for weakness as I tiptoed to the door and quietly walked through the threshold before lightly clicking it closed behind me.

I sauntered through the large halls until I made it to the front entrance, but before I could make it to the cobblestone street, a winged brute landed in front of me, leaning gracefully against one of the large stone pillars of the grand entryway of the infirmary.

“Did you think you could sneak away so easily?” he signed, and I wagged my head with a grin.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” I signed, and he rolled his eyes as if thinking about his well-being over my own was unacceptable.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, glancing over me.

“I’m healing and doing much better thanks to you,” I signed, and he straightened, taking a step toward me, and I naturally took a step back without thinking, a reflex, and watched his face fall.

My gaze shifted away from him. I didn’t want to see the faintest hint of sadness over his features because of me.

He motioned his hand so I’d look back at him, except now the hint of sadness was gone and he looked out toward the street of the city.

“Have you been here before?” he asked, and I nodded with a half-smile. “Know of any good places to grab a bite? That is, unless you were trying to run from me,” he signed, looking me over with a grin, and I wagged my head.

If only you knew how badly I didn’t want to run from your touch. If only you knew how badly my soul craves you, but my mind won’t allow it.

I should have told him those things, told him why I was the way I was, the things that had happened to me . . . but I couldn’t, not yet. I was afraid, and I needed to do this one small step at a time. So instead, I told him of one of my favorite places to eat.

“Theres a small café I used to visit often when I was a child, Goolies. It’s not far from here,” I signed, and he smiled warmly at me before nodding toward the road.

“After you,” he signed, and I took the lead.

He walked next to me, our shoulders only a foot apart, our hands mere inches from the other’s.

It almost felt like an invisible thrum of magic begged me to interlock my fingers with his, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I was so close to him, but my mind made me feel oceans away.

I clasped my hands together in front of my waist as we meandered through the busy streets of the capital.

My eyes snagged on an Earth Dryad family with bright smiles, heading to a stone temple for service.

Earth Dryads had always been a spiritual people.

We shared a close connection, a respect with the earth and everything created from it, and the magic the gods blessed it with so long ago.

Worship was something we carried high reverence for and did regularly to pay respect for the blessings we had received.

Some dryads dedicated their lives to the temples, while others were more lenient with their worship.

It wasn’t something demanded of us, but rather something we could choose to do out of a cheerful and grateful heart or if we wanted to ask for help or strength from the Mother herself.

Ace walked a few paces in front of me and turned around to walk backwards so he could sign to me.

“Do you worship?” he asked, and I nodded.

“Yes, but not nearly as often as I did when I was younger, especially after I joined the rebellion. Life has constantly been on the move since then,” I signed and looked back over my shoulder to the temple before turning to face him again.

“I admire their dedication though, like I admire yours.” He furrowed his brow.

“You choose to use your mother tongue out of a deep respect for the Sky Elves. It’s beautiful.

I consider it an honor to understand it and use it,” I signed, and his eyes softened as he stopped walking backwards and took a step toward me.

The movement was so quick, I almost ran into his chest. He looked down at me with such admiration in his eyes.

He lifted a hand to palm my cheek, but I swallowed and turned my head away from his touch.

“Look, we’re here.” I spoke up and signed as I turned toward the small café and glanced over my shoulder to see him looking at me before following behind.

I went to open the door, but Ace stepped ahead and pushed it open for me.

A small bell chimed from above and a couple of patrons enjoying their breakfast glanced up but bounced back to their meals and conversations.

The tables and chairs were a mix of stone and wood.

A large, muscled golem was perched behind the bar.

He offered us a smile, and I smiled back at him.

“Hey, Goolie,” I said with a smile as I walked over to him.

“Luana, it’s been a while. How have you been?” His voice was deep and booming.

“Been busy and rebellious, you know, the usual,” I said with a grin, and he looked me over because he knew exactly what I meant.

“Oh, I’d like for you to meet my—” I stuttered because I wasn’t sure what Ace was to me.

He was a friend, but so much more in ways I couldn’t understand.

“My friend, Ace,” I continued without looking over at him.

I couldn’t bear to see the hurt over his features again.

“Goolie,” he said, lifting his large stone hand toward Ace. Ace shook it firmly, but the golem’s almost swallowed his hand whole.

Golems were large men or women made from stone by the dryads and then blessed by a ritual done by witches to become companions, or helpers, to those who needed them.

We carried respect for them, and to have one was a privilege not to be misused.

The dryads created them as giant, kind creatures that could be sized according to the wishes of their creator. Which reminded me . . .

“Where’s Asari?” I asked, and Goolie tossed a thumb over his shoulder.

“She’s out back tending to the garden. I’ll go get her. Is there anything I can get started for you guys before I go?” he asked, and I smiled.

“Do you have any—”

“Okande?” he said with a shake of his head. “Of course we do. It’s your favorite. I’d never let it run out.” He winked, and I saw Ace clench his fists at his sides out of my peripheral. Was he jealous of a man made of stone? The thought made me grin at my feet.

“I’ll take some Okande, and whatever he’d like,” I ordered, glancing over to Ace, who was looking down at the counter where all the specials were on display.

“What’s Okande?” Ace asked.

“It’s like a fruit tart, but definitely not sweet like most would think a fruit tart to be. I’d recommend the meat of the woods dish. It’s hearty and delicious.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Ace signed, and I interpreted for him, and Goolie gave a nod of his head with a smile.