Page 30 of Wrath Of Suns And Shadows (The Osparia #2)

Chapter Twenty

Ace

S edrin fell apart as he hauled his sister’s lifeless body into his arms and cradled her in a hug she wouldn’t return.

He cried into the crook of her neck before he pulled back and gently placed his hands over her face to close her unseeing eyes.

Nobody spoke as the loss of her bled out of all of us.

Not even the wind whispered as we gathered ourselves and flew back home.

Sedrin went ahead of us, holding Maeve in his arms so we could give her a proper send-off once we made it back to the rebellion camp. The eerie quiet had loomed over us from the moment Maeve had taken her last breath. She’d forgiven me, but I didn’t think I’d be able to forgive myself.

I’d tried to save them both. Luana had broken me free of my irons, but my wind hadn’t been fast enough to absorb her fall fully.

I held Luana a little tighter, thankful that she didn’t meet the same fate, but dread weighed me down from the depths of my chest. Cyran flew next to me.

His shoulders sagged. He hadn’t met anyone’s eyes since he’d landed next to us at the bottom of the cliff after Maeve had already left this world.

He hadn’t gotten a chance to say goodbye.

Luana slowly rested her head against my chest as we flew over the open waters of Draynua.

Her body trembled, not from the weather, but from the loss of a friend.

My chest was damp from her tears. I hadn’t put her in the harness for the fly back home.

I had asked her if I could carry her, and she had gripped onto me.

I wanted to feel her in my arms. The weight of her.

Her scent, her breathing. She was alive and safe.

I had to focus on that because I couldn’t handle the loss of another person I cared for.

I had to trust that what Atreya had said was true.

Ember wanted Emelyn alive, and as of now, she would have to wait while we came up with a better way to save her, a safer way.

I couldn’t live with anymore blood on my hands.

I wasn’t sure if I could live with Maeve’s.

Luana’s touch brought me back to the present as she wiped a stray tear from my cheek. I was so lost in my thoughts of grief and saving Emelyn, I hadn’t realized I wasn’t holding them back anymore.

“She forgave you and wants us all to live ,” Luana whispered.

“Hold on to that. I know I am.” Maeve hadn’t been referring to breathing or surviving.

She’d meant to live in the sense of experiencing every beautiful thing life offered.

But how could I see anything beautiful left when Ember had destroyed everything and continued to move freely around the world, causing hatred, division, and tormenting the souls of innocent lives?

“I’ll try,” I signed, letting the lie slip freely from the tips of my fingers. The rest of the trip was quiet, other than the light rain that pittered over our feathers as we soared slowly through the sky.

We landed. It took us twice as long to return, as we were all weighed with grief.

Our people stopped what they were doing and ambled toward us.

Atreya was at the front of the crowd with Baron and Shay.

I watched her throat bob and couldn’t meet her in the eye whenever Sedrin walked past her with a dead stare, heading straight to his tent that he shared with his sister.

The silence of loss loomed over everyone, and as Sedrin walked through the crowd holding Maeve in his arms, some bowed their heads out of respect, while others took off their hats.

Sedrin didn’t say a word as he maneuvered his wave through the crowd that slowly opened and created a small path for him.

Atreya walked up to me as I set Luana down.

“Meet me in my office.” She spoke lightly before she walked away, and a part of me didn’t want to follow.

I glanced over to Luana, and she nodded for me to go.

Urging me, even though every nerve ending in my body fought against it.

I released a heavy sigh and headed in her direction, staying a respectful distance away as she walked through camp, and eventually made it into her tent.

I lifted the flap and walked in. The space was well lived in.

Maps and blueprints of ships lined the thick, tarp-like walls and the desk that sat to the side of the room.

I paused by the entrance and stood there, waiting for her to scold me.

To tell me how horrible of a person I was.

Tell me Maeve was my fault. Her death was on my hands, and I knew it.

I didn’t need to be told more than once.

She turned around to face me, and I started before she got the chance to speak.

“I do not need the lecture,” I signed, standing a little straighter. I had to put more weight on my left leg. I was certain that the landing at the bottom of the cliffside had broken my right ankle. It would heal. It was the least of my concerns.

“What did you learn?” she asked, and the comment reminded me so much of my and Emelyn’s fathers, I had to clear my throat from the thought.

“That I should have been patient because you were right. We walked right into Valla’s trap, and we lost—” My hands fell to my sides as my head lulled forward to the ground.

I couldn’t even sign her name. Atreya’s light, booted steps approached me, and I glanced in her direction.

She didn’t look at me with blame, but with understanding.

“I know what it’s like to act rash out of love, Ace. There is more blood on my hands than you will ever know. I blame myself for lives that were never taken by my hand, but what you must do is learn from your mistakes and keep trying. Keep living. Keep fighting.”

“That’s what she said before . . .” There was a sad stretch of silence between us as Maeve’s last words echoed through my very soul.

“I’m not sure I have much fight left in me anymore.

Emelyn and I have been running from death since we were teens, barely old enough to make decisions for ourselves.

We’ve lost everything, just like most of the people here, and now our only hope is Emelyn, and she’s been captured by the people we so desperately need to destroy.

How do we win? How do we push on with so much uncertainty?

” I questioned with anger and frustration bubbling under my skin.

“We fight. We choose to wake up every day and keep going.” She turned from me and ran her hand down the aged wooden desk littered with maps and war plans.

“I have been building this rebellion for a century. I started with a handful of people, Shay and Baron being some of the first that joined me, and since then we’ve networked people all over the world and convinced them of the same hope, the same vision of a better future.

But it took time, Ace, and this will, too.

Emelyn will survive. She’s strong and capable and, like I said, we know Ember wants her alive.

” She turned back to me and placed a stern hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze as she changed the subject.

“You have a choice to make. You can let Maeve’s death eat you alive or you can learn from it. Mourn but don’t dwell, and fight for what she lost, for what so many of us have lost, which is exactly what I believe Maeve would have wanted from you, from all of us.”

I let her words sink into me as I tried to swallow down my sorrow. I didn’t take Atreya for a hugger, but she grabbed my shoulder and tugged me into her, giving me a quick squeeze before she pulled away.

“I’m not a leader because of power, Ace. I’m a leader because of the love I carry for my people and my purpose. Remember that.” She said it in such a knowing way, as if she had known what Valla had said about love and blood. I was sure she had great knowledge of the beliefs of her enemies.

She turned to walk away, and I gained a new level of respect for Atreya. I knew I’d follow her until the end of this war.