Page 17 of Wrath Of Suns And Shadows (The Osparia #2)

I walked over to the charred tent with Luana at my side.

We both looked defeated, moving toward the disaster like two dogs who had done a bad thing now being tossed out of the house.

I grabbed a few apples from one of the wooden buckets before grabbing some dried meats.

Luana did the same. Tossing them into a small pack, I threw over my back, letting it settle comfortably between my wings.

Luana started walking toward the post, and I shook my head.

Hot and cold.

Moments ago, we were laughing together, and now she was running away again.

I caught up to her quickly. “What are you doing?” I asked, and she looked at me like she was confused by the question.

“Heading to the post?” she quipped, and I rolled my eyes.

“Would you like a lift there?” I asked, stretching out my wings. “It’s a long hike,” I signed, and she hesitated a moment, looking to the trail and then back to me before finally giving in.

“Sure,” she breathed, and I didn’t hesitate.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and took off into the skies before she could change her mind.

She squealed from the speed, but eventually she relaxed and enjoyed the view as we bobbed and weaved through the mountaintops before finally making it to the forest of trees.

I stayed just below the treetops to keep myself hidden from anyone who might be keeping a lookout for Sky Elves. I was sure people would expect me and Emelyn to be together.

When we finally landed, my arms stayed wrapped around Luana’s waist a moment too long, but she didn’t pull away. She stood there as I relished the feel of holding her while she regained her bearings from being weightless only moments ago.

“I wish I could fly,” she whispered. “It feels so . . .”

“. . . freeing,” I turned and signed at the same time as she did.

She grinned at me before her smile faded and she turned toward the post between two large trees.

It was about a mile away from where the trail to the mountains started.

Anytime someone had this post, they hated it because there was nothing to do out here.

It was too far from the camp and nothing but trees and mountainous terrain for miles until you got closer to the Capital City.

If I let my thoughts go quiet enough, I could hear the beat of my heart and the air in my lungs as my chest rose and fell.

Sometimes being alone with your thoughts was worse than on any battlefield.

I understood why Atreya sent people out here for punishment.

It was the perfect place to reflect, to truly think about things you had done and didn’t want to face.

Luana huffed and leaned against the tree in front of me. I grunted at her to get her attention, and she glanced over at me.

“I’ll gather firewood and check the perimeter,” she signed quickly, not giving me a chance to speak before getting to her feet and sauntering off into the woods.

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my thoughts under control within the surrounding silence.

Should I say something to her? I wanted to, but maybe it was too much too soon?

I contemplated before I shot into the skies.

If Luana was going to do a look over the perimeter from the ground, then I would from above.

I bobbed and weaved between the treetops, not allowing myself to soar the open skies.

I let the thoughts that wouldn’t stop warring in my mind become one with the wind and roll off my back.

I told myself she would speak to me when she was ready.

I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable by being overbearing, although it seemed she already felt that way around me.

Regardless of how, I could feel her presence set my body aflame and my power buzzed under my skin to be near her.

I knew hers did the same. I could feel a deep longing course through me from time to time and I wondered if it was her trying to hold back whatever this was between us. Or maybe the longing was my own?

I flew around our post three times, not finding anything but the forest and the wild creatures that lived within it.

When I swooped down from the trees, Luana was leaning against a tree, twirling stones in the air with her bending.

She looked mesmerized by the action. Her stare was empty as she watched them move, weaving them between her fingers.

I sent a whisper of wind to graze against her jawline, to gather her attention.

The touch was almost too intimate, I thought to myself as she looked over at me with a soft but sad expression in her eyes.

“Are you alright?” I asked, and she gave me a tight smile that I knew to be fake.

“I’m fine,” she said aloud as she let the small stones fall to the ground.

“I think I’m just tired. I didn’t get much sleep,” she admitted, and I wondered if she ever got any sleep at all, knowing that her nightmares plagued her so deeply.

I wanted to rid whatever demons had sunk their teeth into her mind. Replace the memories with happy ones.

“I’ll take watch,” I signed as she threw out her bedroll and lay down quickly. Without another word, she turned away from me.

I unsheathed one of the daggers I kept layered across my chest and used it to slice through my apple, eating the slice from my blade before sending it back through the fresh fruit.

Luana had remained in her bedroll for the last few hours.

I knew she wasn’t sleeping. The tension in the air was too thick and her bedroll gently rose and fell with every breath, never slowing with sleep.

Atreya had been right. This was a fucking punishment.

I tossed the core of my snack to the ground, and Luana finally stirred and got to her feet. She seemed restless even from here, and I wondered if I was the only one to notice the slight circles that had become more prominent under her eyes since the attack at our last base camp.

I pulled a small flask from my pack and walked the short distance between us and lifted it out to her.

“Drinking on the job, Ace?” She tsked, and I shook my head.

“Not me, I’ll keep watch. You relax. I feel you could use the reprieve,” I signed, and she took the flask, taking a large pull from it before she grimaced and went to hand it back to me, but I told her to keep it.

“That doesn’t seem very fair. This is a punishment for both of us. I was the one cooking. I should’ve been paying closer attention. You shouldn’t have to suffer along with me out here.”

“It’s plenty fair, Luana. I didn’t help the situation.

Besides, you do more than enough for this place.

You should go a little easier on yourself,” I signed, and she went quiet, but a lingering thought in the back of my mind was hoping the gin would help her sleep.

Make her mind quiet enough to let her body rest. She took another long pull from the flask, pushing what I said aside as the tether of tension rose between us again.

The fire crackled and popped as the sun came and went.

The silence was unbearable.

I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.

The only sounds were our boots scuffing against the forest floor when we moved, our breathing, and the occasional cricket would chirp, but it seemed even they sensed the strain and would quiet, letting the thick emotion stretch around us and suffocate anything and everything in its path.

As the stars twinkled on what seemed to be the longest night of my life, I gathered myself to walk the grounds to find more firewood.

The fire had dimmed and become nothing but a small pile of red-hot embers.

Luana crouched next to it, using a small stick to move them around, trying to get the flame to start anew with what little fuel it had left.

I gathered wood, and my thoughts were the loudest they had been all day.

I wanted Luana to let me in, but she didn’t owe me any part of herself she didn’t want to willingly give, and I refused to push.

I told myself that on repeat, although I was desperate to know what things kept her from me.

What things plagued her mind to the point of not being able to close her eyes?

I had nightmares, I still had them occasionally, but Luana’s seemed to be so deeply carved into her that even rest escaped her grasp. It tugged a frown to my face as I gathered the last of the wood I could fit in my arms and walked back to camp.

Luana sat up with her back to one of the two large trees where our campfire sat between them, and I tossed the wood next to the fire before placing a few pieces on top and sending a small graze of wind to bring the fire back to life.

I took the tree on the other side, and Luana and I let the flames dance in our eyes as our minds raced.

Or at least mine did. She was quiet, as she had been most of the day.

Something deep within me knew she was sorting through whatever chaos was running through her head.

I could hear her heartbeat quicken against the madness of her emotions.

There was a quiet war waging within the petite woman in front of me.

And she hid it well from the world—from everyone.

Not me.

I didn’t fully know why or how, but it was as if there were a thread between us pulled taut with all the unknown. I could feel it raging just under the surface. Like a dam waiting to break. I could feel her.

I questioned myself again. If I should ask the questions I desperately wanted to or not. I knew I shouldn’t. I should be patient. But everything with Luana had me confused and twisted up in knots.

Wait, wait, wait . . .

The silence stretched on. The stars were fading in the sky as dark early morning took over.

I pushed my thoughts out of my mind as I began unrolling my bedroll to lie down.

I wouldn’t push her, but I would let her know I was here.

I wasn’t running, no matter how many times she had pushed me away within these last few weeks. I wouldn’t stop reaching out for her.

I lay on my side. I had gotten no sleep, and I knew I probably had a couple more hours before Atreya sent someone to collect us.

“Ace . . .” Luana’s voice was a caressing whisper, but her tone led on that she wanted to say something more.

“It’s okay . . . . If you aren’t ready to talk, I understand,” I signed, opening my eyes to look over at her.

“I think we need to,” she said, and I felt like my heart was shattering before it was ever broken.

I rambled, “I understand if you don’t want this . . .” But truly, if she told me that right now, it would break something in me.

“I want you, Ace.” Her voice was soft, and it stopped me in my tracks.

“You want me?” My hands were barely working.

If I had really spoken it, I imagined it had come out as quietly as her own.

I got to my feet and rushed toward her, but I noticed her body language stiffen and I paused.

I lifted my hand and reached for her, letting my palm linger a few inches from her cheek.

I waited, letting her make the connection.

She moved into my touch, and I lifted my free hand and tucked a loose curl behind her ear. Her sad eyes met mine.

“What happened, Luana, to make you flinch from a single touch?” I asked.

“I . . .” Her words were weak as she lowered her head, and I gripped her chin gently between my thumb and forefinger, pulling her beautiful, tear-filled eyes back to mine.

“I was scouting for the rebellion winter before last, and I got captured by a group of Fire Fae soldiers. I’m not sure how long they had me. I lost track of the days . . .”

“Did they . . . ?” I signed, not able to finish the words as the thought of them touching her cleaved my very soul in half. Anger simmered under my skin. She only nodded as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

“Eventually, I escaped and found Bells. Hinky and Helena took me in and nursed me back to health before I returned to the rebellion. That was when I asked them if they would be interested in joining, and eventually they came around. But ever since then . . . physical touch has been difficult for me . . . and the nightmares . . . I-I just need some time,” she whispered.

“I can assure you, it’s not that I don’t want you.

Quite the opposite actually. I’m just . .

. not ready yet.” She fumbled over her words.

“I’ll wait however long you need me too,” I signed, and she gave me a warm smile with glassy eyes before slowly pulling away.

Sedrin showed up shortly after the sun rose to release us from the post. I wondered if it was a punishment or if it was just his turn to take the furthest outpost. It made sense to have Sky Elves watch this outpost. It didn’t take us long to get here and back if anything were to happen.

I held out my arm, letting Luana walk into my hold so I could fly us back.

I’d let her initiate any touching between us.

She leaned into me, and I held her firmly, preparing to take off, when Sedrin spoke.

“Ace, Lu, tonight we’re all meeting to play Tile and have a few drinks. You guys want to join?” he asked as he tossed his pack against the tree, setting up his own little camp where we had just been.

“I’ll be there,” I signed and nodded to Luana. I wouldn’t decide for her.

“Sure, I’ll come,” she said with a grin, and Sedrin gave me a pat on the back before sending us off into the skies.

“See you then.”

For the first time in a long time, the silence between Lu and I wasn’t strained.

She trusted me with knowing about the things that haunted her, and I would carry those things with me like fragile glass, ensuring that I wouldn’t shatter the only pieces of her she had left to give to me until I made her whole again.