Page 35 of Wrath Of Suns And Shadows (The Osparia #2)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Ace

I woke before the sun to get started on my chores for the day because regardless of the guilt and grief weighing on my soul, life didn’t stop. It flowed and ebbed like a wound that never seemed to close completely.

My mind was in constant motion over Emelyn and Maeve.

If I didn’t keep myself busy, I would snap from the pressure of my overwhelming thoughts.

Nothing seemed to quiet them. Sedrin hadn’t said a word to me since we’d returned, and I hadn’t seen Luana since we’d gotten back to camp.

I was sure she was busying herself, too, to keep her mind quiet.

I couldn’t figure out what was bothering me more.

The fact that I didn’t regret my decision or that because of it, we’d lost Maeve.

I’d replayed the moment repeatedly in my mind, and no matter how hard I tried to work through the what-ifs or the things I could’ve done differently .

. . my wind never gets to her in time—I couldn’t get to her in time.

And my heart ached because I refused to switch the roles. My mind wouldn’t let me save Maeve before Luana and because of that, her blood would always be on my hands. Maeve didn’t deserve her end, but my heart couldn’t let Luana meet that fate.

Fuck.

I plopped the heavy buckets of water down that I had been hauling where they were supposed to go, walked out of the tent, and kept walking and walking.

The woods welcomed me, as I felt like a beast was sitting on my chest. My eyes stung, my breathing quickened, and I finally paused and dropped to my knees in the soft soil as the orange glow of the sun began cresting over the horizon.

Over the hundred and seventeen years of my life, I had killed countless men and women because I’d found myself in a situation where it was my and Eme’s life or theirs.

I would always choose ours with no hesitation.

But being put in a situation where I had to choose between two people I cared for was shredding me into little pieces, and I didn’t know how to handle it.

Maeve had been a bright, beautiful soul, and at a point in time, although it had been brief, I’d viewed her as more than a friend.

But after I’d met Luana, everything had changed.

Something in my very being yearned for her, and there had been no going back.

I wished things would have gone differently between Maeve and me, but in the end, she’d always been my comrade, my elven sister, a part of my brethren. She hadn’t been my mate.

And I’d killed her. I didn’t regret my choice.

The weight of that was so heavy. I wanted to scream at the tops of Heavensreach.

Let my roars echo off the stone to relieve the building, unbearable pressure of grief off my weary spirit.

Instead, I would have to settle for the skies and hope that their breath of life would soothe the ache inside me because right now, I felt just as lost as Maeve’s soul was.

I wasn’t sure how long I glided around the mountaintops to clear my head, but the sun was high as I walked back into camp.

I made my way toward Sedrin’s tent, hoping to offer him anything I could to help during this difficult time, when deep down I knew there wasn’t.

Grief would have to take its toll on all of us, but I couldn’t imagine what Sedrin must be going through. If I were to ever lose Emelyn—

I couldn’t finish the thought because the situation she was in right now could very well take her from me.

The tightness slowly returned to my chest, and I had to take a deep breath to settle my nerves.

I made it to Sedrin’s tent, but without going in, I could sense there were people in there, smell them.

Luana, Nevara and Taryn were inside, and the faintest scent of Maeve lingered, and I didn’t know if I could bare it . . . seeing her again.

I steadied myself before I lifted the tent flap and ducked through the entrance.

Luana was sitting on the ground next to the bed with her knees tucked underneath her.

Maeve was on the bed, while Nevara and Taryn stood on the other side.

Nevara’s eyes were red and puffy, with streaks still on her face, as Taryn kept his arm draped around her waist, standing strong as her silent support as Nevara said goodbye to her friend.

I cleared my throat, and they all glanced up at me.

“Where is Sedrin?” I signed, and Luana answered with her hands, as if she were too scared to speak.

“He went to have a meeting with Atreya about Maeve’s send-off,” she signed, and I looked down at Maeve again before I looked away and quickly made my leave.

Luana grabbed for my arm, and the touch made me pause.

I glanced down at her, still on the ground, and she quickly pulled her hand back before she signed.

“How are you?” I knew the question was deeper than how she portrayed it.

I gave her a slight nod of my head, giving her some semblance of assurance that I was okay, though I was sure she knew I wasn’t.

None of us were. I turned to take my leave.

I wanted to see what was happening with Maeve’s send-off.

I walked through the array of tents until I made it to Atreya’s and could overhear Sedrin pleading with her.

“I want to fly her over the mountains to the west, to the water, and send her off there.”

“Sedrin, I love you and your sister dearly, and I hold you both with the utmost respect, but I feel after what happened at Woodhaven, and then the ambush, and now losing Maeve, I don’t think leaving would be the smartest option.

I know Maeve held strong in her beliefs, and I want to respect them, but I don’t think I can bare losing anyone else,” she murmured, and I could hear the sorrow in her tone and imagine the hurt on Sedrin’s face from the rejection of his request.

A beat passed before Sedrin exited the tent and paced off toward his own. I waited until he was gone before I entered. She looked deflated in her chair, her elbows resting on the desk as she rubbed her temples. She peered up at me.

“How can I—” she started, but I interrupted her.

“Just let me go with him. We can take precautions. Do our best not to be seen. I believe Sedrin needs this, this one last thing, to get some sense of peace after his sister’s death.

I know it’s a risk, but Atreya, I’m begging you .

. . Please, let me do this, for him, for Maeve.

” My hands wouldn’t stop moving, pleading.

They were trembling with the thought of rejection.

I knew I’d have no choice but to follow Atreya’s orders if she commanded we stay put, but I had to try.

She shook her head before looking up at me again.

“If I had the energy, I would argue with you on this because I feel it could be dangerous, but you’re the fourth Sky Elf today that has come to me, and all of your hearts are rubbing off on me.

” She huffed before giving me the smallest nod of her head as she dismissed me.

I had her permission. A faint smile curled over my features as I turned to leave. “Ace,” she called as I was walking out.

“Tell everyone to meet at our normal rendezvous point. We’ll leave together within the hour,” she said, and I glanced over my shoulder.

“I’m not letting you go alone this time, and you Sky Elves are so damn insistent, I refuse to let you all sneak off in the night cause I know that’s exactly what Sedrin would do to honor his sister. ”

“It is what any brother would do for their sister,” I replied, knowing I would go against any command for Emelyn’s honor, and Atreya gave me a knowing look.

“I know,” she whispered. “Now, go tell the others. I’ll see you all soon.” She turned and began readying, and I left to make my way to Sedrin’s tent to let everyone know of the new plan.

I hated the feel of a bowstring between my fingers. That one taut line reminded me of every loss I had ever endured in my life, and it was one I was tired of plucking.

The lastest goodbye echoed softly around me, falling off everyone’s lips in whispers and whimpers.

“For eternity, let the light of the Mother find you and bring you peace on your next journey. Your fight in this life is finished . . . Until we meet again.” Everyone signed and murmured it to themselves in honor of Maeve’s life.

She had vowed to herself and her people, and she had kept it until her last moments.

Sedrin, Cyran, Luana, Atreya, and I had all lit an arrow and had the honor of sending Maeve off. At that moment, the murmurs ceased and the small group of onlookers that had joined us watched as the flames slowly consumed the small boat in the distance until it disappeared completely.

I had watched it so many times in my life, and every time the flame of someone I’d lost withered and died, it took a piece of me with it.

Sedrin fell to his knees as the light faded out in the distance. I walked over to him and placed a steady hand on his shoulder, and he stood with a snarl and shoved me off him.

“This is your fault! She never would’ve been there if it weren’t for you!

” he shouted, and everyone went silent. “You fucked up, and my sister paid the price.” He stood toe to toe with me, and for a moment, I thought he was going to hit me.

I couldn’t blame him. I’d take his blows. I understood his rage.

Luana stepped in between us, and my focus shifted. I wouldn’t allow Sedrin to hurt her over a problem between us. Luana had nothing to do with this. She placed a hand on both our chests. Cyran walked over and placed a heavy hand on Sedrin’s shoulder.

“That’s enough, Sedrin,” Atreya murmured as she walked up to the scene.

Sedrin’s breaths burst from him in a quick rhythm.

His eyes were wild with grief and pain, and I wished so badly that I could change it.

I knew I couldn’t, but I could offer an outlet for him.

I used my arm to move Luana to the side.

“It’s alright. I’ll take it. I’ll take the brunt of your grief if it’ll ease your pain, brother .

” I stepped up to him. “Come on, do it . . . Take it out on me.” I edged him on further by leaning into him.

I tucked my wings in tight and put my hands behind my back, widening my eyes at him, pleading with him to just do it.

He shifted on his feet as if he were taking the smallest moment to contemplate it before he swung his fist back, wielding the wind behind it, and punched me in the face so hard, I heard a crack.

I stumbled back, and he tackled me to the ground.

I didn’t fight him. I took his wrath as he unleashed on me.

Pain radiated through my jaw, and warm liquid leaked from my nose.

I could taste the tang of my blood. Luana shouted from the sidelines.

“Sedrin! Stop! Please!” she cried. Out of my peripheral, I could tell Cyran was trying to hold her back, keeping her at a distance.

Cyran didn’t want Luana getting hurt. He knew I’d do something I’d regret if she did because of Sedrin.

Luana threw out her hands and shaped the earth into a giant hand, which grabbed hold of Sedrin and dragged him away from me.

The fingers then transformed into a pillar of earth, ensnaring him like a pitcher plant.

He writhed in anger for a few moments before he finally stopped, and the earth holding him crumbled and returned to sand.

Sedrin growled as he stormed off into the skies as Luana rushed to me.

She tried to palm my face in her hands, but I pushed them away.

“Why would you do that?” My signs were jerky with my anger.

“What are you talking about? He was going to knock your head off your shoulders.”

“And I deserve it,” I shot back, quickly getting to my feet and pushing past her in my frustration.

“Ace . . . ,” she called out to me. Her voice was small, and it tugged on my heavy heart, but I didn’t respond as I spread my wings and let the air take me to the skies.