Page 125 of Worse Than Murder

‘For a final stab at happiness, maybe,’ Tania said.

‘It clearly didn’t work.’

‘She wasn’t to know that.’

‘But Lynne told me that Iain was her first love. Surely, you’d be happy marrying your first love after the horror you’ve been through.’ I take a sip of wine. I haven’t eaten yet, so I feel it making me lightheaded. ‘I was thinking about this in the shower. Lynne told me Iain wasn’t the settling-down type, so she went with Jack who obviously was. She also said she desperately wanted children, and that Iain can’t have kids. I’m wondering if she actually dumped Iain for Jack, just so she could have a baby.’

‘That’s a bit sick, isn’t it?’ Adele asks. ‘Dumping a bloke and going with his brother so you can have a child.’

I look over my shoulder to make sure I’m not being overheard and lower my voice. ‘Lynne told me her revised statement to the police, where she said she was in bed with Travis, was wrong. She was actually sleeping with Iain. It’s possible that she and Iain never split up in the first place and she went with Jack just to have a child.’

‘You think they were a throuple?’ Tania asks.

‘Nothing so modern. Perhaps Jack didn’t realise, while he was married to Lynne and seemingly living a blissfully happy life, she was still seeing Iain. It was the best of both worlds for all of them.’

‘It’s a bit incestuous, isn’t it?’ Adele pulls a face.

‘Looking back,’ Tania begins. ‘Iain and Lynne were always more suited than Jack and Lynne. I remember being a couple of rows behind them in the pictures once– this is Iain and Lynne I’m talking about– and they were paying Mel Gibson no attention whatsoever, if you know what I mean. Mind you, I was. I still go weak at the knees when I watchMad Max. I’ve always been a sucker for a man in leather.’

Sally comes over with a white box and hands it to Tania, telling her to be careful as the plate inside is hot. Tania hands her a bank card. ‘Slap that on your fancy card machine, Sal. I had another thought as well on my way over here,’ she says, turning back to us. ‘Oh, wait, it’s gone. I knew I should have written it down. Oh, no, wait, I’ve remembered now. It’s about the sightings of Jack. What if they are really sightings of Travis?’

‘I thought that, too,’ I admit.

‘Oh. I thought I was being too clever for my own good with that one. Still, it’s something else to give ourselves a sleepless night. Anyway, I’ll let you enjoy your meal, and I’ll report back in the morning, if I’ve managed to make any sense of anything. Nice to meet you,’ she says to Adele. ‘Bye, Mat.’ She breezes through the restaurant, taking her bank card from Sally and waving goodbye to the people she knows.

‘Does she always talk like she’s about to run out of oxygen?’ Adele asks.

‘I think this is the first major story she’s had in thirty years and she’s remembering why she became a journalist in the first place.’ I look out of the window and watch her walk at pace to her Punto. ‘I feel sorry for her.’

‘I was watching you while you were talking. You were back in full DCI mode for a while.’

‘It’s my job.’

‘Still?’

I’m saved from answering that by Sally coming to the table with our meals. Mushroom risotto for Adele and Thai salmon cakes for me.

‘There you go, ladies. Enjoy.’

We eat in silence for a while.

‘As I was saying, I spoke to Sian,’ Adele says. ‘Everyone is worried about you. She’s told me everyone has texted and emailed, and you haven’t got back to them. Why are you avoiding them?’

‘I’m not avoiding them. I’ve read my emails. I…’

‘I’m not daft. You left your phone in my car.’

‘Ah.’

‘That’s the first time you’ve ever lied to me.’

‘I’m sorry. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t know what’s going on in here right now,’ I say, tapping my temple. ‘I want to know what’s going on, but I don’t. I want to find out who killed my family, but I’m scared of what I’ll do when I do. I’m trying to protect myself, yet at the same time I want to destroy myself. I’ve got too many conflicting emotions going on and I don’t know how to address them.’

‘Bloody hell, Mat,’ Adele says, reaching across and placing a hand on top of mine. ‘Why didn’t you tell me any of this?’

‘How can I tell you when I can’t make sense of it myself? It’s all chaos.’

We stare at each other in silence, neither of us knowing what to say next. I pick up my knife and fork and attack my salmon cakes. I’m not hungry, though.