Page 104 of Worse Than Murder

‘If she’d been told the truth from the beginning, she wouldn’t be in this situation.’

‘You don’t know what it was like thirty years ago. We were protecting her. We still are. Look, you don’t live here. You don’t know what’s going on in this community. You don’t know this family. Don’t stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong.’

‘Travis did report his car stolen. Three days before the twins disappeared. I…’

‘Look, I’m sorry, but I’m really not interested in anything to do with Travis fucking Montgomery. He’s done enough damage to this family. Now, I’m very busy. I’ve got two new horses coming today. I don’t have time to indulge you in trying to occupy your mind against your own grief.’

Iain doesn’t give me time to respond. He stands up and brushes past me, leaving the small office.

Is that what I’m doing?

Whenever I run, now, and I glance up at the hills that surround High Chapel, I see walkers and hikers in groups or walking their dogs. Occasionally, I’ll see a lone walker in the distance and a part of me wonders if it’s Jack Pemberton keeping sentry over the village.

I turn a corner to run along the edge of the lake and stop in my tracks when I see Lynne Pemberton up ahead by the water’s edge. She’stooclose to the water’s edge. As I approach her, slowly, I see that she’s actually standing in the water and it’s licking over her shoes as it sweeps into the shore.

I control my breathing. I’ve been running full pelt, and I’m knackered.

‘Lynne,’ I call out, quietly. She doesn’t hear me. She remains motionless, looking out into the water that has hidden her daughters for thirty years.

‘Lynne,’ I try again, louder this time.

She snaps out of her reverie and turns to see who’s calling her. There are tears streaming down her face. She gives me a pain-filled smile before turning back to the lake.

‘I used to run,’ she says. ‘I didn’t do it for long. I tried one of those spinning classes a few times. They almost killed me.’

I don’t say anything. It’s best to allow Lynne to lead the conversation. I’m glad I’ve finally got her on her own. She might spill something she doesn’t want to reveal in front of her husband.

‘It’s a beautiful part of the country, isn’t it?’ she says. ‘That’s why tourists come here. The landscape is stunning. Untouched for centuries. Hikers. Wild swimmers. They love it. They come to the stables, and they all say how lucky I am to be surrounded by such beauty every single day. I always thought I was. I can’t say that anymore. This lake. It isn’t beautiful at all. It’s been the home of my girls for thirty years and I never knew it. For thirty years, I’ve looked out at this view and breathed in the air, and it’s calmed me when I’ve wanted to scream so loud I hoped my lungs would burst. It’s cruel that what I thought was soothing was actually taunting me. My girls have been in this water all this time.’

I sit down and pull my knees up to my chest. I watch Lynne, see the pain etched on her face. I can feel the sadness and torment radiating from her. It’s like looking in a mirror.

Lynne comes over to join me.

‘Do you have kids?’ she asks.

‘No.’

‘From when I was young, all I wanted was to grow up, get married, and have children. Not very modern, is it? I had so many dolls as a child. I called them my babies. I used to say I wanted to have hundreds of children.’ She gives a pained smile at the memory. ‘That’s why I became a midwife. I just loved being around babies.’

‘Why did you leave?’

‘The stables,’ she sighs. There’s a bitterness to her voice. ‘In the early days, there wasn’t enough work to employ someone. Jack had gone. Iain needed someone to help him, someone who didn’t need paying.’

‘You could have gone back to midwifery once the stables were a success.’

She shrugs. ‘Too much time had gone by. It’s a strange concept; time. Sometimes you think it moves quickly and other times it seems to go slowly. Celia and Jennifer have been gone for thirty years. It seems like a lifetime. Me and Iain celebrated our fifteenth wedding anniversary last week. Fifteen years gone in a flash.’

‘Did you do anything special?’

‘There’s a restaurant we go to a lot in Kendal. We just went there for a meal.’

‘I know things are dark for you right now, Lynne, but you need to look at what you still have left. Iain clearly loves you. Alison is a credit to you. You have a lovely home and a thriving business.’

‘Iain was my first love,’ she said, wistfully, staring out into the lake. ‘He was so handsome when he was young. All the girls wanted to go out with him. He chose me.’

‘How did you end up marrying his brother?’

‘Iain wasn’t the settling-down type back then. I wanted to get married as soon as I was able to. Like I said, I wanted hundreds of kids.’