Page 40

Carson

I t’s Sunday night, and I’ve spent the last few days buried in work—both at the diner and at home.

I had zero intentions of digging a massive hole in my backyard, but once I started flattening out the raised area, I couldn’t stop.

Now I’m staring out the kitchen window at a crater I have no clue what to do with.

Maybe I’ll fill it in and get that pool I’ve always wanted.

After rinsing my hands, I return to the kitchen island and tighten the lid on the jar of jam I just finished making. Honey peach lavender—something I thought Wren would like. But seeing as how she asked me to leave her alone, I guess I’ll hold on to it for now.

She doesn’t want to see me, and I don’t blame her. I would understand if she decides to write me off completely after what happened the other night.

Cal

Bring some cards. Briar ate the Ace of Spades out of our deck.

Shit.

How the hell did I forget it’s game night?

I shoot him a thumbs-up and shove my phone into my pocket.

Usually, Wren reminds me. Since I haven’t heard from her—and since I know she doesn’t want me reaching out—I’ll just assume she doesn’t want to ride together like we normally do.

The thought of seeing her tonight makes me feel lighter.

I quickly hop in the shower and head out the door.

“About time, Mr. Matthews. Glad you decided to join us.”

Wild pushes the front door of his brother’s house wider as I walk past him. We used to alternate locations for game nights, but since Cal and Lucy got together, we’ve made their place our permanent host. They’ve got plenty of room, not to mention a pool that we use quite often in the summer.

Squeezing the jar of jam tightly between my fingers, I search for a pair of icy blue eyes, ignoring Wild’s usual shit-stirring—the man lives to fuck with people. When I don’t see her, I try to mask my disappointment.

“Hey, man. You ready to eat? We’re starvin’,” Cal announces from the sliding kitchen door, carrying in the tray of grilled food.

Indie follows him in with a tray of grilled corn on the cob in her arms. From her evil glare, I think it’s safe to assume she’s up to speed on my current situation with Wren.

“Where’s Luce?” I ask no one in particular.

I want to ask about Wren too, but I decide against it, especially with her best friend two feet away, looking like she’s ready to bite my damn head off.

“She’s puttin’ the girls down for a nap. She’ll be out in a few,” Cal answers, reaching for plates from the cabinet.

I nod and walk to put the jam on the coffee table while everyone else is wrapped up in conversation behind me.

“Hey, Wildflower. We gonna bet tonight?” Wild wiggles his eyebrows at Indie across the room. They usually bet every month on game night about who will win between them. “You know what I want if I win.”

She blushes and rolls her eyes, joining him at the counter just as Lucy walks into the room.

“Hey, Carse,” Lucy greets, and I offer a quick nod her way. I’m sure she’s privy to the news between Wren and me as well. But unlike Indie, Lucy isn’t the type to murder me in my sleep.

“Uh… Hey, Goose,” Wild addresses his sister-in-law. “Totally unrelated, but do you by chance have any chocolate sauce? Or maybe some Nutella?”

“We’re havin’ burgers and brats… Why the hell do you need that?” Cal looks at him with a raised brow.

“Well, my wife does this?—”

Indie playfully smacks his arm before he can finish.

“Wild, I swear to God I can’t take you anywhere,” she states with a small chuckle. She wants to be annoyed, but no one would ever believe she truly is. There was a time when we all did, but now that she’s married to the guy, we know she loves his antics.

“What? I’m just thinkin’ about dessert… for later .” His eyebrows bounce again, and I fight the urge to gag at the thought of what he’s doing with chocolate that has Ind reacting the way she is.

“Hey,” Lucy interrupts their conversation— thank God . “We still need to pick up that order for the fundraiser next weekend.” She pats her husband’s backside while standing beside him.

“Alright, I’ll have Wren get it. She won’t mind,” Cal replies without a second thought.

Here we go again, volunteering Wren to do shit for people simply because she never says no.

And just like that, I snap.

“No.”

My abrupt one-word response makes everyone stop and look over at me.

“No… What ?” Cal asks, wiping the bit of ketchup from his finger.

“You guys need to stop fuckin’ volunteerin’ Wren to do everything.” I don’t mean to be so harsh with them, but damn . Someone’s gotta say something. “You know she can’t say no—especially to y’all. She runs herself ragged tryin’ to make everyone else happy. Just… quit askin’ her to do everything.”

They look at me with wide eyes. It’s probably the most I’ve ever said in one breath at a game night in all the years we’ve been having them.

“I didn’t mean for it to sound like I’m takin’ advantage of her,” Cal says quietly. “I just figured she works right next door to the bakery, so it wouldn’t be a problem.”

He looks down, guilt creeping into his expression. “But yeah, I see what you mean. We all could do better about not assumin’ she’ll do things for us.”

Everyone nods in agreement.

Guilt rakes over me for being the asshole and yelling at them. I know they never have malicious intent and probably don’t realize what Wren does to herself, but I don’t care. I’ll be the asshole she needs me to be whenever she needs me.

Because no matter how much I try to fight it… I will always have feelings for that woman. I’ll always be there for her, in any way that I can be—even if it’s not the way she wants me to be there for her.

Maybe one day down the road things could change—if I can get out of my damn head.

And if I’m not too late…

I just know that not talking to her these past couple of days has fucking sucked. The silence in my life has been a little too loud. I’ve wanted to ask her about work, about her list.

I miss her voice.

I miss her texts.

I miss her .

I’ve almost called her a few times when I see something that reminds me of her, or when something funny happens at the diner. Last night, I ate a bag of Skittles. I fucking hate candy.

It’s only been two days, but I’d believe you if you said it had been two weeks.

Where the hell is she anyway?

I quickly glance out the large living room window at the driveway, hoping to see dust trailing behind her as she pulls up. But once again, there’s nothing.

Then it hits me.

Shit.

What if she’s been waiting for me to pick her up? Surely she would’ve called by now or driven herself over if that were the case.

“Where is she anyway?” I look at Indie—the one person I’m sure knows exactly where she is.

A smug smile grows on her face. “She’s on a date .”

My plate slips from my fingers and clatters onto the counter.

The air disappears from the room.

I. Can’t. Fucking. Breathe.

Someone just put a damn knife in my chest.

No, you selfish asshole.

This is what you wanted, remember?

Nodding, I try my best not to show that the news affects me. I don’t want anyone to think that Wren’s dating bothers me.

Try as I might, I can’t stop my molars from grinding as I take my seat at the large kitchen table. I quickly shove half a burger into my mouth and chew like it might drown out everything I’m feeling.

“What the hell crawled up your ass and died?” Wild asks, taking the seat beside me. “You miss ol’ Wrenny Poo?” he teases, having no idea how fucking right he is.

“No,” I snap, tearing off another bite.

“ Uh-huh . I see that... So what is it? Did that burger offend you? A little too charred for your liking?”

Fucking hell.

Why are these people so damn observant? Now I need to figure out some explanation for why I’m in a pissy mood.

“It’s family game night,” I mutter. “ Everyone is supposed to be here. No one’s allowed to skip.”

Indie’s smug smile returns as she catches my gaze across the table. “This was last minute. She had to do what was right for her. ”

Last minute, my ass.

A different night would have worked just fine.

She just didn’t want to see me.

Fuck, that hurts.

I know I’ve always had some sort of feelings for Wren. But why does not seeing her, along with the fact that she doesn’t want to see me, actually fucking hurt? When did my feelings for her shift from simply caring about my friend’s sister to… this ?

“I don’t know why you two keep playin’ this damn game. We ain’t gettin’ any younger.” Wild sips his sweet tea, and Cal hums in agreement.

“What the hell are you talkin’ about?” I mumble around another bite, pretending that my anger is due to hunger.

“Playin’ like you don’t love each other. It’s clear as fuckin’ day to everyone else.” Wild snickers before taking a bite.

The breath freezes in my lungs.

No part of me has ever stayed away from Wren because I was afraid her brothers wouldn’t approve, but I’ve always suspected that they wouldn’t. They know me, and they obviously know her. I’d never be what they wanted for their sister.

I’ve always assumed they saw me as the poor kid who showed up at their doorstep every day. The guy who doesn’t do serious relationships—the asshole who doesn’t care about anything.

Evidently, that’s not what they see at all if they both agree about this and are supportive of it.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” I reach for my drink and take a long swig, desperate to end the conversation.

“Right,” Cal grins over a forkful of potato salad. “We’re all just wonderin’ what the hell’s takin’ y’all so long.”

I feel like the floor has been pulled out from under me one too many times tonight.

What the hell is going on here?

Sure, I’ve always known I have feelings for her, and I think it’s been clear she has feelings too. But I didn’t assume any of them knew—not Cal or Wild, anyway.

“You’ve all known this whole time?” I stare at my best friend, who raises his brows and nods as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“You just happened to move up to the city the day she did… We kinda had an inkling.” Wild states with a smug grin and winks.

Goddammit.

What the hell have I done?

I thought I was okay with her moving on.

But I’m not.

Not even a little.

And maybe that’s the push I needed.

Nausea churns in my stomach at the thought of her out with someone else. Laughing with him. Smiling at him.

Nope.

“I can’t fuckin’ do this.”

I toss my napkin onto my half-eaten plate of food and rise from the table.

“I’ll see y’all later.”

“Go get her, tiger!” Wild calls after me.

I climb into the truck, slamming the door harder than necessary, and just sit there.

The keys rest in my hand, cool and quiet.

She’s out. On a date.

And here I am—sitting in a driveway, sweating like a damn idiot over a woman who told me to give her space.

You wanted this, I remind myself for the thousandth time.

But I didn’t want this.

I didn’t want her laughing with some stranger, telling him the stories she used to tell me.

Didn’t want her moving on.

Not really.

I drop my head back against the seat and let out a sharp breath.

I should let her be. She deserves space. She deserves someone who doesn’t freeze when it matters.

But what if I wait too long?

What if she starts falling for him? What if he makes her laugh in the way I used to—or hell, better than I ever did?

My fingers tighten around the wheel.

What if I’ve already lost her?

My chest aches just thinking about it. And the worst part? I don’t even blame her.

She gave me the chance. She gave me everything. And I closed the damn door.

I look out the windshield, watching the porch light flicker to life outside Cal’s house.

I should go home.

I should.

Instead, I just sit, thinking about all the things I didn’t say.

And all the things I still could.