Page 5

Wren

“ Y ou’re my favorite person on this Earth at the moment,” I admit, popping the handful of Skittles into my mouth. Carson briefly glances up from the cutting board, cocking a brow.

Carson Matthews. My friend. My best friend these days.

Indie and Lucy will always be the ones I call at any given hour of the day or night; they’ll always be my closest friends, but things are different now that they’ve married my brothers, and Lucy has become a mom.

I’m not na?ve; I know things don’t always stay the same. Life keeps moving on, and people change. I’m happy that I now get to call those women my sisters.

Since Carson and I moved to the city and only had each other—both because we were so far away from our family and friends, and because they were now completely occupied with each other—we sort of pushed ourselves together a little more than before.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve realized that having a friend of the opposite sex isn’t so bad.

Honestly, I’ve always tried to be his friend; he just never gave me the impression he was interested in me…

in any way. But now I know that I could call him at any hour, and though he may be grumpy, he’ll be there.

“Here,” I say, holding out a few Skittles. “Just for you.”

“No thanks,” he replies flatly, keeping his laser focus on the peppers he’s dicing on the wooden board in front of him.

“Carson Matthews,” I huff. “You will take these red Skittles I have offered you. They are the best ones, and I don’t share them with just anyone.”

Placing the large knife down on the counter with an exaggerated sigh, he wipes his hands on the white kitchen towel next to him and takes the little round candies from my hand. When he pops them into his mouth, his face scrunches up as he chews.

“Oh, whatever.” I laugh, reaching over and nudging his shoulder.

The smile that grows on his face is a rare thing to see. I soak it all in. My brother’s best friend may be cold to the rest of the world, but he’s always shown me a different side. One that’s softer and, dare I say, even playful on occasion.

After working side by side (and by side by side , I mean him cooking and me asking a million times what I can do, and him telling me repeatedly that there’s nothing he needs done), we sit together at the large glass table in his kitchen. His apartment isn’t huge, but for just him, it’s plenty big.

“What are you stressed about?” Carson asks, taking a bite of the creamy pasta salad.

The question catches me off guard, though it shouldn’t. Carson reads people better than anyone I know. Especially me.

Internally debating for only a second, I decide to tell him the truth. There’s no point in trying to lie to him. I’m terrible at it anyway.

“Freida offered me my old job back… With a nice raise,” I add before taking a big swig from my favorite drink and placing the orange cap back on the bottle.

His eyes jump to mine as he swallows his food. He nods slowly and reaches for his glass of tea. After taking a drink, he places the clear glass back down on the coaster, his attention coming back to me. “Are you gonna take it?”

“I don’t know,” I half laugh, while the other half of me wants to cry.

“It’s a big decision,” he admits, lifting his fork again and poking more pasta onto the metal prongs.

“I know… And I feel so guilty about even thinking about doin’ this. It feels like I’m givin’ up on my dream.”

This draws his attention to me even more.

“The dream was to be a nurse, Wren,” he states. “To help people. To bring them comfort in a time of need. Does it really matter where you do that?”

The fact that he’s quoting things I’ve told him over the years does something silly to my poor little heart.

“Well…kinda,” I admit with a shrug, feeling my cheeks heat with guilt.

His deep blue eyes narrow as he thinks about it some more. “You’re right,” he says, nodding. “It does matter. You should be somewhere that you enjoy being.”

I’ve never voiced my displeasure with my work to anyone. But once again, here he goes showing just how easily he can read me and how well he knows me. His words are valid, and advice I’d give to anyone if the roles were reversed.

Every day, when I’d get off work after a shift at the nursing home, I’d go home feeling good.

Accomplished. Happy with what I was doing, and like what I did that day mattered.

Being at the hospital these last couple of years hasn’t given me that same feeling.

Not that I don’t think what I’m doing makes a difference and that it doesn’t matter, but I miss the close community feel I had before.

I miss seeing the same faces every day. I miss the one-on-one patient relationships I was able to build, the slower pace, and spending more time with the people who needed a familiar face during a new season of their lives.

At the hospital, I barely know my patients before they’re gone.

“Funny thing,” Carson says, drawing me from my thoughts as he continues to eat his meal that he cooked for us.

“What’s that?” I wonder, ready for some laughs to distract me from my problems.

“I’ve actually been thinkin’ about movin’ back to Twin Pines or maybe Alokin Falls. Depends on what I can find.”

“Really?” I ask with a wave of excitement. I know Carson made it clear that he wasn’t into me the way that I was into him all those years ago, but I still can’t help the draw I feel to him. The thought of him moving back as well helps make the decision a bit easier.

Throughout my entire drive here, I felt guilty not only about considering abandoning my job but also about leaving Carson here alone.

A part of me— a delusional part —has always thought he moved to the city so that I wouldn’t be by myself.

The way he seemed to accept the job out of the blue, on the same day I announced my move, always struck me as odd.

If he’s thinking about moving back to our hometown, it alleviates some of my guilt and motivates me.

He’s my friend—always has been—and I enjoy being close to him.

Carson nods, tossing his napkin into the empty bowl. “I was gonna go down to Twin Pines this weekend, check out my dad’s house to get it listed on the market, and then go from there.”

His parents. A topic we never discuss. I’ve learned it’s something he still doesn’t like talking about, even after all these years.

“I wasn’t gonna make any big decisions quite yet,” he adds. “But I don’t know...” He pauses, glancing over at me. “Somethin’ about movin’ away from this busy place and slowin’ down just feels right.”

He thinks for a split second and looks at me. “Wanna come?”

My attitude perks up at the offer.

“Yes!” I start, then frown. “Oh, shoot...” I bite the corner of my lip. “What day are you goin’? I forgot Lucy, Ind, and the babies are comin’ over this weekend.”

“Saturday after my fishin’ trip with Cal.”

“Yep. That’s when the girls are all comin’ over,” I reply, slightly defeated. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugs. “That’s alright. I’m off tomorrow too. Wanna go then?” he asks, knowing I was supposed to be off as well.

“I…can’t.” I wince. “I offered to cover a shift for someone.”

“Of course you did,” he mutters, a tight smirk forming on his face. “Let me guess… Maggie ?”

Nodding, I tuck back the loose blonde wave that escaped from behind my ear.

“ Wren, Wren, Wren, ” he tsks, shaking his head, not a single black strand of hair falls out of place.

“I know, I know. I can’t help it,” I shrug and offer a half smile. “Someone needed me.”

His annoyed glare quickly lifts to me again. From the way his lips part and close quickly, I know he’s choosing his words carefully. “That woman doesn’t need you . She needs a swift kick in the ass.”

Recounting the times I’ve babysat and covered at work for her over the last year when it wasn’t completely necessary, I realize he’s most definitely right about that.

“Yeah. Probably,” I agree with a small laugh. “This’ll be the last time unless she really needs me… Promise.”

I don’t know why I feel worried or like I’m doing something wrong, but I do.

“Right,” he says, clearly unconvinced.

“I’m serious. I’ll do better about not jumpin’ in for every little thing for her anymore.”

I’m perfectly aware that I need to set boundaries, especially with her. However, some things are easier said than done for people like me, who have always gone out of their way for others.

His gaze softens, but his voice stays firm. “Don’t get offended, Tink. You do what you want. I just don’t like seein’ people take advantage of you. That’s all.”

Carson has always been protective of me.

At first, my young mind thought it had something to do with caring about me in a…

special kind of way, but he made it clear many years ago that it’s simply because he sees me like his little sister.

Words a young girl in love never wants to hear her crush say.

Standing, he walks his bowl to the sink and begins to rinse it out.

When he bends to place the bowl inside the dishwasher, my eyes wander to his perfectly round bottom, noticing he’s still getting his money’s worth at the gym.

He’s always been fit. When we were in high school, he was constantly playing sports.

As a teenager, it was hard not to notice the changes happening to his body.

The muscles that started forming on his arms and the ridges that were carving into his lower abdomen were impossible to keep my eyes off of every time we’d go for a swim at the creek with my brothers.

And now I can confirm that membership at the gym isn’t going to waste either.

Knock it off, Wren. This man is not into you. You need to stop lusting after the guy.

But feelings don’t care what logic has to say. Carson Matthews carved a spot in my heart when we were just kids—and I don’t think he ever left. Not really.

“Wren Beckett, you are a strong, beautiful bitch, and those fuckers can kiss your cute little white ass.”

A chuckle escapes me at my best friend’s words of encouragement over the video call as I sit in the parking lot. Leave it to her to boost my confidence with profanity.

“Alright.” I blow out a breath. “I’m doin’ it.” My voice shakes with uncertainty as I tighten my grip on the phone.

It took two days of overthinking, a dozen phone calls with my best friends, and a lot of pacing…but I’ve made a decision. I’m putting in my two weeks’ notice and going back to Sunset Haven.

Carson was right. My dream was to be a nurse and help people.

Where I do that job should only matter so long as I’m happy.

If I’m not happy, am I really that much help to the people I see?

Am I really making the difference in someone’s life that I want to?

I’d rather be somewhere that I feel like I belong .

“Damn right you are,” Indie says through the screen.

“Ohhhh, I just hate this so much,” I groan, pressing the heel of my palm to my forehead.

“You’ve done this before, Wren,” Indie encourages. “Just go in there and tell them bitches to piss off.”

My best friend is nothing if not blunt. Indiana Beckett is a woman who always speaks her mind and couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about her or her opinions.

“I’m not gonna be rude, Ind. I’m just givin’ them my notice.”

She scoffs. “You want me to come in there and take care of it for you? You know I wouldn’t mind… Matter of fact, just give me five?—”

“No!” I cut her off before she has time to finish the statement. “I’m goin’ in, and I’m gettin’ this done right now. I’m a big girl,” I half joke. “I’ll text you in a little while.”

Her lips pinch to the side as she studies me. “Alright…but you call me if you need backup. I don’t mind drivin’ up there.”

I know without a doubt that she isn’t joking. If I needed her, she’d be here in a second, guns blazing when she walked through the door.

We say our goodbyes, and I feel a little more confident than I did five minutes ago.

The air outside is thick with heat as I step out of my car and adjust my scrub top. I mentally rehearse the speech I’ve practiced a dozen times. If I ever think calling in sick from work is hard again, I just need to recall this feeling I have right now.

Where’s a roll of Tums and a Xanax when you need them?

But to my surprise, the conversation is quick and uneventful. The nurse manager barely reacts when I give my notice. In this city, nurses come and go. They’re a dime a dozen.

It turns out… I didn’t matter all that much here.

Back at the nurses’ station, I grab my phone and open a new text to the first person I want to share my exciting news with.

I did it. Twin Pines, here I come! T-minus two weeks!

Carson

Proud of you, Tink.