Page 23

Carson

T his woman is trying to kill me.

What the hell was that? “ Teach me. I’m eager to learn. I’ve rubbed meat. ”

Jesus fuck. I was two seconds away from telling her that I was sick and canceling our plans so I could go take a cold shower instead.

Thankfully, we won’t be in such a confined space anymore. Maybe I can keep my mind on fishing.

Walking down to the pond in the dark turned out to be more eventful than I ever expected. Sometimes I forget that Wren can be a bit clumsy. And she really loves to fucking talk.

Normally, I don’t mind it—I even enjoy hearing her go on—but this isn’t exactly the right time or place for twenty questions.

“Fish don’t like it when we talk,” I say after she asks yet another question about the stars.

“Oh. Right… Sorry,” she whispers with a sheepish smile.

I set up a lantern behind us on the dock so we’d have some light to bait our hooks and prevent us from poking ourselves in the process.

“Bring your pole closer to the light, and I’ll walk you through how to get this worm on.”

Her lips and nose scrunch up. “Are you sure you won’t just do it for me?”

I shake my head. “No, Tink. You can do it,” I encourage.

She thinks for a second, staring down at the Styrofoam container. “I really don’t want to hurt him.”

“Circle of life.” I hold the container closer.

She still doesn’t budge.

I let out a sigh. “Hand me your pole and get over here. I’ll do it the first time, but you’re doin’ the next one.”

Her shoulders relax as she releases the breath she’s been holding and steps closer. “You got yourself a deal, Mr. Matthews.”

I quickly prepare her hook as she paces around me on the dock.

“It’s so hot out here. How do you do this so often?”

“It ain’t that bad. Here, take this while I get mine ready.”

She takes the pole and carefully hangs the baited hook over the water as she sits down on the edge of the dock.

She peers down into the dark water. “What kinda fish are in here anyway?”

“Largemouths and catfish, mostly,” I answer as I take a seat beside her.

“What did you call me?”

“What?” I glance up at her, wondering what the hell I missed. “I didn’t call you—wait. No.” I shake my head. “It’s a type of bass. I wasn’t?—”

“I know.” She grins, nudging my arm with a small chuckle. “I’m just messin’ with you, Carse.” Her teasing smile moves from me back out to the water.

What timing. I was just telling her to stop talking, and then I mentioned a fish named for its large mouth. I’m glad she at least has some knowledge about fish or I’d really look like a dick.

“It might be better if we fish from the shore. More room to cast that way. There’s also some weeds over there that they like usin’ for cover.”

She shakes her head. “That’s okay. My feet are really killin’ me today. I’m fine sittin’ here.”

Fuck. Why didn’t I bring her a chair?

Probably because I was too busy lecturing myself for staring at her ass while she pulled the rod from the garage wall.

“Alright,” I say with a shrug. “First thing you wanna do is flip this little piece here,” I point to the metal bar over the reel of fishing line, “over.”

I walk her through the remaining steps, and she does just as I tell her to and then mimics my movements to cast her line.

“Good. Now flip that bar back over.”

“Wow. This is easy!” There’s so much joy in her smile I feel it to my damn toes.

“Yeah. It’s not too bad.”

A comfortable silence settles over us. The summer breeze rustles through the nearby trees, crickets chirp in the tall grass surrounding the pond, and I start to relax.

“Do I reel it in now?”

“Did you feel a tug?”

She shakes her head. “No. Was I supposed to?”

“Yeah. That pull means a fish is eatin’ your worm. That’s when you set the hook and reel it in.”

“Set the hook?” Her brows pull together.

“Are you sure you’re Cal’s sister?” I tease.

She bumps my arm. “Hey, be nice. I’m tryin’ here.”

Another bright smile finds me, and I do my best to look away before I do anything stupid.

“Does it always take this long?” she asks after a couple of minutes pass.

“It’s been two minutes, Wren. But, yes,” I sigh. “This is a sport of patience.”

“Hmm…” Her feet swing back and forth as they dangle over the water. She looks down at the dark surface below. “What would you do if a shark came up and bit my feet off?”

I laugh, caught off guard. “What?”

“I know there ain’t sharks in this pond,” she clarifies. “But I can’t help the thought that keeps poppin’ up. It’s actually kinda scary now that I’m picturin’ it.” She pulls her feet up onto the dock and tucks them beside her.

“Well, like you said, there are no sharks in freshwater ponds.”

She nods and watches out into the distance, where her line disappears into the water, the light from the lantern casting a glow over her heart-shaped face.

“But,” I add, “if a shark bit your legs off, I’d have to jump in there and save them.”

“You would?” Her beaming smile is back.

“Of course,” I respond and shrug. “How else would you run through my mind all day?”

She laughs loud and hard, gripping my arm as she throws her head back. “That is the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard,” she says, wiping a tear from her eye.

Good. I hoped she didn’t take that the wrong way when I said it. I know Wren enjoys jokes; the dumber and cheesier they are, the more she likes them.

“So, how’s the Wren-ovation Project goin’? Added anything new?”

Besides the things I saw—and can’t bring up.

“Really good, actually. Better than I thought it would. And yes, I’ve added quite a bit. Some things I can’t try just yet…but one day.”

“Why not?”

She shrugs and rolls her lips in tight as she thinks of her answer. “Scared, I guess.”

“What’s there to be scared of? You ain’t jumpin’ out of a plane, are you?”

Shit. I want to punch myself for planting that idea. If she does something stupid or gets hurt, I will forever blame myself for it.

“No.” She shakes her head. “I just… I can’t really do them yet.” It’s clear she doesn’t want to talk about this.

“It’s hot and I’m bored,” she sighs, reeling in her line and placing her pole down beside her on the wooden dock. “Let’s swim.”

“Swim?” My brows wrinkle together. “In there?” I point to the dark water.

“Yeah.” She shrugs. “Why not? It’s safe, right?”

Yeah, it’s safe. But I’m not. I wasn’t ready to be that indisposed with her. Alone. We’ve swum plenty together with our friends around—never just the two of us.

“You gonna run back to your place to change? By the time you get back, it’ll be?—”

My words are cut off as she stands and pulls her shirt off over her head, revealing her yellow bra.

“It’s no different than a swimsuit.” She shrugs one shoulder as she unbuttons her capris next and slides them down her legs, showing off her matching yellow panties. “Not like you ain’t seen me in one of them before.”

Yeah, I think as I reel in my line. But we’re always with other people. Not alone out here in the fucking dark in the middle of the woods.

It may be ninety degrees out here, but that has nothing to do with why my palms are sweating so profusely now.

“Come on, Carse. Live a little.”

She steps back a few feet before running forward and jumping off the end of the dock, splashing down into the water.

When she surfaces, she lets out a small moan and chuckles, wiping the water from her face and pushing her blonde hair back.

“This feels amazing! Come on, chicken!”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

This is a bad idea.

I slowly reel in my line, the pros and cons spinning through my head like a tornado as Wren splashes around in front of me. The list of cons seems to be a helluva lot longer.

“Fuck it,” I sigh.

I drop the pole and stand to peel off my shirt and jeans. I’m a grown-ass man. I can handle being near an attractive woman—even if she is half-naked.

It’s just Wren. Just a little skin.

I dive into the water beside her. The water is cool and familiar. I spent many summers swimming in this pond; I know it’s deep enough for a shallow dive off the dock.

“Shit. You’re right, this does feel good,” I say when I resurface from the water.

I glance over and find her floating on her back, gazing up at the starry night above us—something we both clearly missed while living in the city, where the bright lights erased every star in the night sky.

Wren turns her head to look at me and begins to sink into the water.

I quickly reach out and place my hands beneath her back, supporting her and keeping her afloat. Her breath hitches, and I feel the tiny goosebumps prickle her soft skin.

Try as I might, my eyes can’t help but trail over her body as she floats in front of me.

Of course she’s wearing fucking yellow.

“Hey, Carse?” Wren says in nearly a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“If I asked you for help with my list…would you?”

I bite my cheek, not sure I like where this is going. “What do you need help with?”

She sits up and faces me, arms treading in the water. She looks nervous as hell, her gaze darting from my face to the rippling surface between us.

“Well. Some of the things on my list…I can’t do alone. They’re things that I’d prefer to do with someone… Someone that I trust.”

“Like what?” I know where this is headed. But she needs to say it.

“Well…” She looks down at the water, tilting her head back and forth.

“ Sexual things. I wanted to wait for a boyfriend to do them with me, but I’m not gettin’ any younger, and at this point in my life, I think I just need to accept that I’m gonna die alone.

” She lets out a weak laugh to cover her nerves.

“Not sure I’m followin’… You want me to have sex with you?” I ask to clarify what I’m hearing.

She shakes her head. “No. Well...I don’t think—ugh! I don’t know. I just—I wanted?—”

She groans and covers her face.

I swim closer to her and grasp her chin between my fingers, tilting her face up toward mine.

“Just say it, Tink.”

She draws a deep breath.

“I heard a girl once talkin’ about some of the things you do…

in the bedroom. And I wanted to try them too.

I’ve asked boyfriends before, but no one has ever wanted to.

They made me feel bad about being… curious .

But I know you would never make me feel that way, and I know I’m comfortable with you.

And from what I’ve learned, this is about trust. And I do… trust you, that is.”

I read her damn list. I know exactly what she’s talking about.

She wants more than vanilla sex. She wants to be tied up. Guided. Made to feel .

It’s hard to believe that anyone turned her down. But then again, when I think back to the pricks she’s been with, I shouldn’t be surprised. They probably didn’t even let her finish—buncha missionary, two pump chumps.

Still. This is Wren.

“Wren, we can’t?—”

“Oh my God…” She covers her face with one hand in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry. Please forget I said anything about this.” She throws a thumb over her shoulder. “I’m gonna leave now. If you never hear from me again, just know it was nothin’ personal.”

She begins to swim toward the dock.

I’m still too stunned to open my damn mouth.

Even if I could, I don’t know what the right thing to do would be.

I love that she trusts me enough to ask for my help, but I’ve spent years keeping my distance from this girl for a reason—because she deserves better than what I can offer her.

I don’t want her to grow feelings or get her hopes up about anything becoming more .

Sure, she’s not asking for a relationship, but I know damn well that I couldn’t touch her like that and walk away.

I’d want everything.

I doubt I could go back to the same ol’ same ol’ after binding ropes around her pretty little wrists and watching her come apart in front of me as I help her see the stars she’s been craving.

And even if I had something to offer her, I don’t think I’d ever deserve her. My head gets so fucked up half the time that I’d just bring her down with me. I really don’t understand why she always wants to be around me or why she has always seemed to care about me.

Before my brain finds the power to make words again, she’s already dressed and walking down the dock, her phone illuminating the path in front of her.

I’m not sure what else she said while I waded in the water, contemplating my options. All I know is that tonight isn’t the right time to finish this conversation.

And I need a really cold fucking shower.