Page 37

Carson

“ L ast one just left.”

Wren leans back against the kitchen counter as I finish wiping down the stove after a chaotic dinner rush.

“The girls already went home,” she shrugs, untying the apron from around her waist.

I swear I’ll never hire against my better judgment again. They’ve been nothing but a headache.

Wren’s helped a few times over the week and a half since she offered— or told me —she’d assist me with training the staff.

Their work performance has improved drastically, and I know it’s all because of her.

She’s not usually a hardass, but I’ve overheard her laying down the law a time or two, and I have to admit, it surprised the hell out of me.

Having her around—helping, supporting, watching my back—it’s been…really damn good.

“Thank you for helpin’ out today. And for all you’ve done to get Bree and Jamie to shape up.”

“Any time,” she smiles.

“Shirley Temple?” I offer as we walk past the front counter. She refuses to accept payment, so I make it a point to fix her a meal or drink every time she comes in.

Wren sinks down on a stool, her tired eyes lingering over the counter. “You know I can’t say no to that.”

I could tell when I picked her up at her place this afternoon that she had been crying again.

Wren’s always been someone who feels every emotion deeply.

The loss of a man that some would deem ‘just a guy at work’ has hit her hard.

But I know that Donnie wasn’t just another person to her; he was a friend and someone she deeply cared about.

That’s why I’ve tried my damndest to be here for her as much as I can while juggling the diner.

I top her drink with a cherry and slide it in front of her. She draws the red-and-white striped straw into her mouth and takes several large gulps.

“ Ahhh ,” she sighs contentedly, pulling the straw back. “This is incredible. Thank you.”

The smile in her eyes is the closest I’ve seen to the real thing in days. I knew that getting her out and around people again would be just what she needed to lift her spirits.

Stepping around the counter, I pull out the stool next to her and take a seat. She spins to face me, one hand propping her head up on the counter while the other twirls her straw in the glass absently.

“I really am proud of you, Carse.”

Her praise gives a small boost to my ego. Yet, that nagging part of my brain tries to convince me that she’s just saying that, perhaps partly because she feels sorry for me. This is Wren, after all; she’d never say anything mean.

A stray golden strand of hair slips from behind her ear. Instinctively, I reach out to tuck it back into place. When my fingers feel the warmth of her skin against my own, I freeze. I’m not breathing, and it’s clear she isn’t either.

My hand drifts, slow and uncertain, down her cheek and toward her mouth—the place I’ve sworn never to go. Her lips part slightly, and her tongue peeks out to wet them.

Before I even realize what I’m doing, I’m leaning in, my mouth just a mere breath away from hers.

She pushes herself forward as well, just the slightest bit.

Her scent—sweet and floral—hits me, breaking the spell. I jerk back so abruptly that Wren stumbles forward, catching herself on the counter.

“Wren, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was…” I scrub a hand over my face and sigh.

“Why do you always do this?”

The hurt in her voice slices right through me.

“You reel me in, get me just close enough to think somethin’ might be happening, that I’m not the only one who has feelings, and then you just…back away.”

Fuck fuck fuck.

I knew damn good and well that her being around me so often was dangerous. And here we are proving it.

“You know this is a bad idea, Wren. You know I’m not good for?—”

“I know what I want,” she cuts in, frustration flashing in her eyes.

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“My prize. For two weeks without helpin’ anyone. I know what I want now. You said I could have anything , and I finally know what it is.”

Damn. I’d forgotten all about that part of the deal. Being so busy with my home demo and the diner, it completely slipped my mind. From the look of determination in her eyes, I wish she had forgotten, too.

I wait with bated breath for her to tell me what she wants.

“A kiss. From you,” she says with certainty, lifting her chin in my direction. “I want you to kiss me, Carson. And I want you to mean it. Not a quick peck. A real kiss.”

“Wren…” I shake my head and rub my brow, heart pounding. “You don’t know what you’re asking. We can’t…”

“We can . And I’m tellin’ you what I want.”

Her gaze floats down to her hands in front of her.

“Or is it just like everyone else? Am I not good enough for you?”

The insecurity in her statement pisses me off.

Who thinks she’s not good enough?

“What the hell are you talkin’ about?”

“No one cares about me,” she says, voice hollow as she shrugs a shoulder. “If I don’t have somethin’ to offer, they disappear. If I don’t step in and do every damn thing for them, they ghost me or make me feel like crap…”

Tears well in her eyes, the unshed droplets enhancing the bright blue color even more.

“And I’m tired of feelin’ that way. I’m tired of being made to feel like I only matter when I’m doing somethin’ for someone. I’ve had the narcissistic ex. The assholes who treat me like garbage and cheat on me. The so-called friends who only reach out when they need something.”

Her voice breaks. She presses her lips together hard.

The pain laced across her face is enough to make me see red.

I’d give anything to go back in time and save her from every one of those bastards.

I’d like to hunt down every asshole she’s ever been in contact with and beat the shit out of them for treating her that way or for ever making her question her worth.

I’m not usually a violent man, but when it comes to her, I suppose I am.

“Wren, you are enough. You don’t have to make everyone happy. The people who deserve you don’t love you for what you do. They just…love you. And care about you —not what you can do for them. You are enough, Wren.”

Her eyes flick up to mine, a plump tear escaping down her cheek.

“And so are you, Carson.”

Her voice is gentle now as she studies me.

“So why won’t you stop pushin’ me away?”

Her lip tucks inside her mouth as she bites it, anxiously awaiting my reply—one that I know will shatter her heart and change things between us once again.

“Ever since we were kids, I’ve known I was not supposed to kiss you.”

“Why is that?”

I’ve lied about this in the past. Told her she was like a sister. That I never thought of her that way. But she deserves the truth. It’s been twenty damn years; it’s time I let her know.

“Because I knew if I did, I’d never be able to stop. And I don’t deserve you, Wren. No part of me has ever deserved any part of you. Not then, and certainly not now.”

Another tear slides down her cheek. She takes a calming breath and nods as she swipes it away.

I think my words are helping her grasp the reality of us . Maybe now she truly understands that this will never be a thing. I won’t allow myself to have it. To have her .

“I’m ready for something real. Ready to have what I want and what I believe I deserve.

And that’s you , Carse. You’ve always been there for me.

You’ve stood up for me countless times and have always protected me.

You’re the man who makes my heart beat harder whenever you’re near.

You’re the one who sang to me when I was ready to cry myself to sleep that night on the porch swing when we were kids. ”

She sniffs and releases a shaky breath.

“This is the last time I’m gonna put myself out there for you.”

I stare at her, unsure of what to say. All I really want is to wrap her in my arms and kiss her. But I care too much about her to allow myself the pleasure. I knew when I saw my name on her damn list this afternoon that it meant something—potentially something detrimental to our friendship.

I just hoped I was wrong.

She nods at my silence, almost seeming defeated.

“If you don’t want me, you need to say so.

Because I have to stop sittin’ around and waitin’ for you to want me back.

I want a family one day, and I’ve decided that I’m finally goin’ after the things I want in my life.

Life’s too short to just sit around and wait for things to happen. And what I want most…is you.”

My heart constricts in my chest. I feel every nerve and muscle in my body tense up. I’m a piece of fucking shit, and she doesn’t deserve me. She needs so much more. It might just kill me, but I have to let her move on.

“I’m sorry, Wren, but I can’t do this. Please don’t be?—”

Before I can finish speaking, she’s already headed for the door. I quickly take two large strides to close the gap between us and spin her around to face me.

“Don’t,” she snaps. “I’m fine.”

She swiftly wipes the tears from her cheeks after pulling out of my hold.

“Really, it’s fine. Yes, I feel like an idiot —and I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from the embarrassment—but I’m glad that I finally spoke my mind. Yes, you just crushed my heart, but I’m finally gonna be able to move on from you, Carson.”

A sad smile plays on her quivering lips as she glances out the window before returning her gaze to me.

“Can we just talk? I can try to explain?—”

“No,” she interjects, her head shaking. “I need time. Please don’t reach out… Okay ?”

Her retreating form haunts me the rest of the night.

As I lock up the diner and turn out the lights, only one thought repeats in my mind.

What the hell did I just do?