Page 6

Carson

Past

T he scent of old, musty carpet and stale cigarette smoke lingers heavily in the hotel room.

The tan carpet is worn thin, and the A/C rattles every few minutes, but it’s the only one in town, so it will have to do, because like hell will I stay at my dad’s house.

I walked out of his door the day I turned eighteen, and meant it when I said I wasn’t coming back.

Fresh out of culinary school, I’m ready to start my job next week. They wanted me to begin this weekend, but there was no way I was going to miss Wren’s graduation.

Tossing my bag onto the old, stiff mattress, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket.

Tink

Are you busy?

Pressing her contact, I hold the phone to my ear.

“Hey!” she answers, voice bright enough to melt the built-up tension in my chest.

“You know I hate textin’, Wren. Whatcha need?”

“I know, I know,” she says with a small laugh. “That doesn’t mean I have to give up on tryin’ though.”

“I wouldn’t invest too much time into the endeavor.”

She hums into the phone. “Okay, fine. But seriously—are you busy?”

I glance around the dingy room, wishing my buddies weren’t out of town on a work delivery for the night so I’d have something to do and somewhere else to be. In a town with a population of a couple of thousand, there really isn’t much to do by yourself—especially when you don’t have a fishing pole.

“Nope. Free as a bird.”

“Oh, good! I need you. Can you come down to the old abandoned church on Copperhead Road?”

My brows pull together. “What the hell are you doin’ out there?” I bite out. “Who’s with you?”

“Carson.” She says my name with a chuckle. “I’m fine. I’m an adult and know how to make good decisions. I just need you for something… Can you come or not?”

Barely eighteen, and she’s calling herself an adult already.

Hearing her say she needs me has me quickly abandoning all promises to myself to keep my distance. Being alone with Wren won’t lead to anything good for her, something I’m well aware of. But if she needs me, I’m there.

I have fuck all of a clue what she’s doing out there, but knowing the stupid shit people get up to in a small town—especially seniors in high school—I’d rather be there to get her out of trouble before she gets too deep into it.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

The church looks just like it always has: forgotten and falling apart. Peeling paint covers the wooden exterior, broken windows stand next to the double doors, and weeds swallow the steps while lining the property. It’s been two years since I left, but nothing changes in this town.

As I park next to Wren’s old car, I notice the other two cars beside hers. It makes me nervous, especially since I don’t see a speck of light out here or see a single person anywhere in sight.

I step out of the truck with a sigh, ready to find her and figure out what the hell is going on. Just as I pull my phone from my pocket to call her, I hear gravel crunching behind me. Before I can turn around, familiar arms wrap around my waist.

“You came!” she whispers excitedly, hugging me tight. She’s always been the hugging type—not something we have in common.

“Wren, what ? —”

“Shh!” she hushes, holding a finger to my lips. “We’re playin’ hide and seek. You’re my partner. Come on!”

Grabbing my hand, she pulls me toward the building in a hurry.

“Hide and seek? What are we, twelve?” I huff as I follow beside her.

“Hey.” She halts in place and pins me with a serious stare. “I’m havin’ fun on my last night of high school. It won’t kill you to loosen up and have a little fun yourself.” She pokes my chest. “Besides, there are worse things I could be doin’ tonight.”

After my week from hell finishing up culinary school, I realize she’s right. I could use some fun. Even if it’s playing fucking hide and seek with a bunch of high school kids at an old church in the middle of the night. Sure beats sitting in that run-down hotel.

Seeming satisfied with my slight nod, she grabs my hand again, leading me behind the church. Her soft fingers in mine are distracting, and I need to let them go. But I can’t.

“Who’s all here?” I ask in a hushed voice, redirecting my thoughts as I follow her down the underground stairwell at the back of the building, leading to the church basement door.

When she reaches the bottom of the stairs, she releases my hand and tucks the blonde hair back from her face.

Even in the darkness, I can still see her icy blue eyes when she looks at me.

“Just some girls from my class. Marybeth, Hannah, Tabby, and her boyfriend Kevin. I doubt you remember any of them.” She chuckles.

“There’s a guy out here with y’all?” My brows furrow.

“Of course that’s all you heard.” Wren smiles and shakes her head. “Don’t worry, he’s madly in love with Tabby , and he’s a really nice guy.”

Nice guy my ass. This town is just full of nice guys.

Nice guys that want to get their asses whooped.

Out here running around with four girls.

Probably called his friends to let them know about this situation as well.

One thing’s for sure: if I’m expected to trust this guy, I need to meet him first.

“Wren, I don’t ? —”

Before I can get the rest of the words out, Wren quickly shushes me before grabbing my shoulders and pulling me in close against her.

She backs us into the corner of the stairwell where the light from the moon doesn’t quite shine.

We become completely coated in darkness, her lavender scent hitting me hard, causing the hairs on my arms to stand on end.

My pulse jumps to life being this close to her.

Above us, I hear feet trudging through the weeds and whispers of voices I don’t recognize, both female from the sounds of it. They quickly fade away, never peeking into our secret hiding place.

As we stand frozen with our bodies pressed together, Wren’s chest rises and falls faster against mine. Her warm breath ghosts over my chest.

She’s always been tiny—hence the nickname Tink. To me, she has always been this cute, blonde-haired, blue-eyed pixie with a spark of attitude when the moment calls for it. It doesn’t come out often because it takes a lot to piss this woman off, but lucky me, I’ve managed to do that a time or two.

But there’s something different now. She’s not the same girl I used to see trailing her brothers around. She’s a woman now. A damn beautiful one.

When I gaze down into her eyes as she grips my arms, her lips part, and it takes every fiber of my being not to give in and finally taste the lips I’ve wondered about for too long.

Wren’s eyes nervously flick to my mouth, clearly thinking about the same thing that I am.

They don’t stay there long before they go back down to my chest. I desperately want to reach out and lift her chin back up to me so I can study her perfect face longer.

It’s hard to believe how long I’ve gone without seeing her.

Since I became fast friends with her older brother, Wren and I have always spent a lot of time together.

Not intentionally, but her family is close, and she was just always around when I was there.

These last two years away at school have been some of the loneliest I’ve ever experienced, not being around the Becketts nearly every day like I used to.

I’ve always told myself that she was off-limits, though.

That Wren Beckett would never be mine. She’s a sweet girl who deserves the very best. Something I am not, nor will I ever be.

She deserves someone who can provide her with a good life and a family.

She deserves to chase her dreams without anything holding her back.

Wren’s a beautiful woman; no one can deny that.

Her brothers have always told me about the guys who chase after her like lost puppies.

However, from what I’ve seen and heard, she’s never been interested in any of them, always keeping her head down in her schoolwork and spending her free time with her family.

As I’m lost in thought, staring into her crystal blue eyes, Wren’s face starts to inch closer to mine. For one terrifying second, she starts to rise on her tiptoes. Before I know what’s happening, her lips are just a breath away from my own.

“Wren,” I murmur, stepping back from her and placing my hands on her shoulders.

She freezes, burying her face in her hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

Probably the same damn thing that’s been clawing at me for years.

When she looks back up at me, there’s uncertainty and embarrassment in her eyes. “I just thought… I don’t know.” She shakes her head, stepping away.

“Thought what?”

She places her hands in her back pockets and shrugs as she rolls her lips between her teeth. “That…maybe since I wasn’t a kid anymore… maybe you...” She lets out a sigh and looks to the ground between us. “I just thought that you and I ? —”

“Wren.” I stop her before she has a chance to finish the thought out loud. “I don’t want to hurt you. But this… It’s never gonna happen.” The words sting as they leave my mouth, made worse by the hurt on her face.

I’ve dreaded this day for a long time. Knowing that she’s always felt this pull, too, and that I’ll have to do everything I can to keep it from going there, fucking sucks.

She deserves better. And I know that if I ever told her the truth, if I admitted I feel the same way, she’d never give up. She’d fight me on it until she was blue in the face.

That’s the thing about Wren; she’s patient and a fighter.

On top of my own shortcomings, I don’t want her to give up on her dreams of becoming a nurse and going to school while she waits for something to happen with me that isn’t in the cards for us.

She can go off to bigger and better things. Better people.

There’s determination in her eyes when she looks back up at me. Her posture straightens—she’s not giving up that easily. “Carse, I’m not a little girl. I know ? —”

“You’re like a sister to me, Wren and I care about you, but that’s where it ends.”

It’s the biggest fucking lie I’ve ever told and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

She flinches, and it hits me like a fist to the gut.

“Oh.” She breathes out, toeing the pebble next to her shoe.

The disappointment in her face as she steps more into the moonlight, still worrying that lip, makes me want to put a fist into my own damn face.

“Please don’t be upset, Tink.”

She gives me that practiced smile of hers. “No big deal. Just…graduation nerves making me act crazy. Forget that ever happened…please,” she nervously laughs.

I give her a reassuring smile and drape one arm over her shoulder for a quick hug. Not something I normally do, but I know she needs it to relieve some of the uneasiness she feels.

“Come on,” I say, walking us toward the stairs. “ Let’s get outta here and find somethin’ to eat.”

She nods, still giving me that practiced smile.

This night will go down in history as both the worst and the best night of my life.

Best because I almost had her.

Worst because I know I never will.