Page 39 of Wish Upon a K-Star

B ack in Seoul, I’m determined not to focus on what happened during the trip.

I heard the hotel ended up comping our rooms, an apology for not having better safety precautions. I feel bad; I saw the sign and went into the pool area anyway.

But it’s not the accident that weighs on me as much as those moments with Minseok by the pool afterward. When I felt like maybe, finally, he was going to kiss me.

I tell myself I was probably just delirious from oxygen deprivation, adrenaline, and my residual confusion after the overly romantic dinner shoot.

From now on, it’s probably best to treat everything involving Minseok with detached professionalism. This is a job. It’s no different from being asked to do romance scenes in a drama. He is just really good at acting like he likes someone. Except, who would he have been acting for at the pool?

Every time I think about what happened, questions like that trip me up. So, instead, I’m in full avoidance mode. The last two days since returning home, I’ve holed up and focused solely on organizing my new apartment.

It’s a three-bedroom that’s clearly meant for a group instead of someone living alone. But Hongjoo did say it was temporary. Which is good. I don’t think I can handle living across the hall from Minseok for long.

Sighing, I fall onto my couch even though I have a handful of towels in my arms that need to be folded. Why can’t I stop thinking about him?

“Because we almost kissed,” I reply to myself. “And I have to know if he’s thinking about it as much as I am.”

I stand up with purpose, letting the towels drop back into the laundry basket. “I’ll just ask him. I’m not a kid anymore. I can just have a mature conversation.”

Then I fall back on the couch, the nerves making my whole being squirm as I cover my face in a towel and let out a muffled scream.

“No, I can do this.” I stand up again, and before I can overthink it again, I march across the hallway.

After I ring the bell, I have immediate regrets. This is a bad idea. What if the other members are home? I should wait for later.

But before I can dash back into my apartment, the door opens, letting out a blast of music.

I retreat a step as Robbie grins at me. “Noona, you actually came.”

“Huh?”

“Come in.” Robbie grabs my arm and pulls me inside before I can protest. I barely have time to toe off my shoes before I’m yanked into their living room. The lights are low, with what looks like a strobe light going in the corner. The TV is playing lyrics to a song. An old rock anthem from before Robbie was even born. And Jaehyung is singing on a Bluetooth karaoke microphone. Despite being younger than me, Jaehyung has always had such an old soul. I’m a little shocked to see Jisung, the maknae of Hyejun’s group, belting it out alongside him.

He looms over Jaehyung as the tallest person in the room. But he’s also the youngest. He’s like a golden retriever, always so happy-go-lucky.

“What is this?” I ask Robbie, lifting my voice above the booming music.

“Didn’t you get my text?” he asks.

I shake my head, not wanting to hurt my throat from shouting more.

“It’s my birthday party,” Robbie explains. “I invited you.”

Oh yeah, I did see a text from him about this, but I’d been so caught up with everything that I’d only skimmed it and forgot to reply. Which was going to be a polite brush-off, but now I guess it’s too late.

“Come on, sit down,” Robbie says. “The party just started.”

I do a cursory sweep of the room and don’t see Minseok. Disappointment and relief war inside me.

Jun offers me a bottle of water. I take it with a grateful smile. At least now I have something to do with my hands.

“You’re lucky.” He has to lean down to whisper-shout in my ear over the music. “We actually cleaned for this.”

I laugh, looking at the bags of chips and snacks strewn across the coffee table. Bottles of water litter both the table and the floor. What suspiciously looks like laundry is piled in the far corner. And three laptops are set up on the kitchen table, making it clear that space is used more for gaming than eating. I wonder how messy it normally is if this is clean.

There’s a girl who looks vaguely familiar sitting on the couch, nursing a can of Chilsung Cider. Robbie has made a beeline for her, nestling in next to her and throwing his arm over her shoulder.

She settles comfortably into his side, like they’ve done this a hundred times. It’s a shocking sight, but no one else seem surprised by it.

“Too bad we couldn’t go to a real noraebang,” she says.

“I like this more. I can do this here.” Robbie nuzzles his nose into her neck like a puppy dog and she giggles as she tries to push him away.

“Don’t be gross.” She laughs.

“Too late,” says a boy perched on the adjacent couch. He’s tall and cute but a stranger to me. I wonder what agency he’s with.

The girl sticks her tongue out at the boy, and I finally place her. Robbie’s childhood friend that the gossip sites keep saying he’s in a relationship with. And it seems that this time they’re right.

Robbie smiles as he lets his head settle on top of hers lightly. They look so content. Like they’re not in the middle of a noisy party but in their own private space. I feel a twinge of envy at the sight. It’s not something I ever thought was possible for people like us.

The girl looks up and catches my eyes. Hers widen. “It’s you!”

She jumps to her feet and I instinctively step back, ready for the attack or accusation. But she lets out a joyful giggle before covering her mouth. “I’m sorry, I just—I’m a huge fan.”

Robbie laughs. “That’s a huge compliment, Noona. It’s hard to get Lani to admit she’s a fan of someone.”

“That is not true.” The girl smacks Robbie on the shoulder. Then turns back to me with a grin. “He’s just bitter because I refused to admit I was a fan of his when we first reconnected.”

“Oh, I see,” I say. “Well, nice to meet you…Lani?”

“Elena,” she says with a belated bow of greeting. “Sorry, I’m so rude. I just really loved you in Youthful Exchange . I watched the whole drama with my como.”

“Oh my god, yes! You were the mean girl!” The cute boy stands up and walks over, looking me up and down.

“Uh, yes.” I take a step back.

“Can you throw water in someone’s face?” he asks with a grin that makes me wonder if he’s actually joking.

“Stop being embarrassing, Ethan.” Elena pulls on the boy’s arm and smacks him upside the back of the head. “I apologize for my twin; he never learned how to be a real human being.”

I see the family resemblance now, even though Ethan is a good six or seven inches taller than Elena.

“He didn’t mean anything by it, right, Ethan?” Robbie steps forward and slings an arm over the other boy’s shoulder.

“Exactly, I was just trying to break the ice and be friendly.” Ethan returns the gesture until the boys are half hugging each other.

Elena rolls her eyes. She leans toward me and mock whispers, “They’ve somehow bonded this summer and now they gang up on me like this all the time. It’s infuriating.”

I blink awkwardly at the overly friendly nature of the interaction. I’m not used to new people warming up to me like this. Including me in inside jokes or gossip so easily.

“Oh, um, well, Robbie has always liked…being liked.…” I trail off, not sure if that was the right thing to say.

But Elena lets out a laugh. “Robbie was right, you’re really funny.”

“What?” I laugh out the question because I’m sure I must have misheard. No one ever calls me funny.

“Come on, let’s pick a song,” Elena says, sitting on the couch again and scooting over to make space for me.

I sit down just as Jisung comes over to plop down on the other side of me.

“Hyeri-ssi, I can’t believe you’re actually here.” He grins.

“I can barely believe it either,” I admit.

Robbie lets out a laugh. “I guilted her into coming.”

“Great job.” Jisung lifts his hand for a high five. I want to be annoyed, but it’s almost impossible to get mad at Jisung. He’s like the embodiment of sunshine. “Is Hyejun-hyeong on his way?”

“You’re asking me? You live with him.”

Jisung’s grin turns sheepish. “Well, he wasn’t home when I left. I thought maybe he texted you.”

I wonder if that’s bad. So often I’m reminded that I have no idea what’s going on with my own older brother.

A new song starts up, and Robbie joins Jaehyung to sing a vigorous version of hit trot single “Love Battery.” Jaehyung sounds amazing. I’ve always loved his voice. So smooth and sweet but still fits into the EDM and dance tracks WDB debuted with.

The door bursts open. Minseok and Hyejun enter the room, holding on to each other and laughing at some previously shared joke.

Their entry energizes the entire room. Jaehyung and Robbie let out loud whoops. Jisung jumps off the couch to greet them.

I’m sitting stiffly, unnaturally straight-backed, gripping the water bottle I’m still holding.

Minseok greets Elena with a one-armed hug and lifts a hand to high-five Ethan. And then his eyes finally find me.

His brow lifts. “You’re here.”

“I-I was invited,” I stammer, squeezing my water bottle so hard it spills over onto my lap. I jump up in surprise.

“Here, let’s get you a towel,” Jun says, pulling me into the kitchen.

I turn back to see Minseok throwing an arm around Robbie’s shoulders. “Let’s rock, woori maknae!” He takes the mic from Jaehyung and joins the song. Hyejun grabs a tambourine, jumping around and banging it into his head.

I was invited? Why did I say that? It makes it sound like I have to justify being in his apartment. Like I’m invading his space. But I don’t have to explain myself. I’m not here to see him. Except, aren’t I?

I return to the couch, using the kitchen towel Jun fetched me to wipe the damp cushion before sitting again.

The song has become less trot and more metal as the boys scream the end together. The song finishes and the screen announces that they somehow, impossibly, got a score of 92 despite the out-of-tune screaming.

Minseok lifts his fist in triumph. “Professional idols right here!”

“Fourth-gen kings!” Hyejun declares.

Robbie is rolling his eyes, but he’s smiling.

“That was our gift to you, birthday boy,” Minseok says into the microphone.

“ That’s your gift?” Elena asks. My eyes whip to her, but despite her shocked tone she’s smiling. I realize suddenly that she’s spent time with this group. She seems to already understand and enjoy the dynamic of them.

Robbie Choi really has a girlfriend. I can’t stop myself from laughing at the idea of it.

“What’s funny?” Elena turns to me.

“Oh, nothing. I mean, it’s not funny so much as nice,” I admit. I feel some of my jaded shields come down a little to just enjoy that idea. “I’m really happy for you and Robbie.”

Elena blinks at me in surprise. “Wait, what?”

“Aren’t you dating?” I wonder if I read it wrong.

But when Elena blushes, lowering her head to hide a smile, I know I’m right.

“Yeah, we are, but we’ve never officially confirmed it. Everyone still assumes, though, but Robbie says it’s about making the choice ourselves about what we share.”

“It can be a lot,” I say, and see her smile drop a little. I feel bad for being the one to cause it.

“Yeah, I’m definitely not used to complete strangers having opinions about me and my life. But when it’s just me and Robbie, we can ignore it.” Her smile brightens again as she looks over at him.

Now Minseok has Robbie in a headlock as he demands a duet together. Robbie is laughing like a loon. Not even trying to free himself. Jun and Jaehyung have joined in, grabbing both boys in half-hug, half-wrestle moves. I’m not even sure if they’re trying to separate the two or help one of them win. And if it’s the latter, I’m not sure which side they’re on.

“I’m glad Robbie found someone who likes him enough to deal with all the extra that comes with our lives.” And I really mean it. I’ve often felt like it’s virtually impossible to make true relationships outside of our bubbles. And even among ourselves, it’s hard to know what the other person actually wants from you. I resist the urge to steal a glance at Minseok.

The music swells and the boys are really butchering an overly dramatic version of “Candy in my Ears” by Baek Jiyong-sunbae and Taecyeon-sunbae.

Minseok and Hyejun try to do the sexy dance with each other, which makes me cringe and avert my eyes. I do not need to see my older brother’s hips shaking like that. Of course, they overdo it and they fall over each other. I barely catch Minseok before he bangs his head on the coffee table.

His weight is sprawled across my lap. This close, I can smell soju on him and see how red his cheeks are. He must have been drinking with my brother before coming here.

“Well,” he says, lifting a hand to cup my cheek. “Haven’t we been here before?”

I roll my eyes and release him. He drops to the ground with a grunt and a thud. He bumps into the coffee table and drink bottles scatter across the floor.

Just then, the door opens and Jongdae steps in. Behind him is Sooyeon, holding a cake box.

I start to stand. Sooyeon-sunbae is one of my favorite artists. I didn’t know she’d be here tonight. I check my shirt and hair to make sure it doesn’t look messy from the collision with Minseok.

But before anyone can greet them, Jongdae snaps out, “What the hell is going on here?”

The room quiets down.

“What do you mean?” Minseok asks lazily, not bothering to get up. Instead, he lounges across the floor like he’s in a sexy photoshoot. “It’s a party, we’re partying.”

“Are you drunk?”

Minseok scoffs, pushing himself up, brushing off invisible dust from his pants. “We just got a couple drinks before coming.”

The way Jongdae is staring Minseok down, I’m worried he’s about to explode.

“How could you do this with everything going on?” Jongdae demands. He takes a jerky step forward, leaning heavily on his crutch.

“Hyeong, it’s fine,” Robbie says.

“Don’t get involved,” Jongdae growls, clearly getting angrier by the second.

“Don’t talk to him like that,” Minseok says, his eyes hardening despite the drunk flush still on his cheeks. “And I don’t really think you have a leg to stand on here.” He lifts a brow and gestures at the crutch. “Literally and figuratively.”

Jongdae leans toward Minseok and lowers his voice, but I can still hear him.

“This isn’t the time to have this conversation.”

“I thought you’ve been wanting to talk,” Minseok says tauntingly.

An angry vein appears in Jongdae’s temple. “You know we’re trying to keep a low profile these days.”

Minseok’s jaw tenses, the first sign that he’s not as unaffected as he’s pretending. “No, you are keeping a low profile while I smooth things over so people forget your mistakes.”

The room is now too quiet. I shift awkwardly in my seat, and I can hear the sound of the cushions squishing beneath me.

Sooyeon clears her throat. “I think maybe we all need to cool off. We’re here to celebrate Robbie.”

“Yeah, let’s order food,” Jaehyung suggests, pulling his phone out.

Robbie looks a little annoyed, but he just nods. “Yeah, who’s next to sing? Jongdae-hyeong? You want a turn?”

JD still looks pissed until Sooyeon pats his shoulder gently. Her touch seems to relax him. He finally relaxes a fraction. “Yeah, let’s look at the song list.”

He moves to the couch with Sooeyon’s help.

Everyone’s shifting to make room for him, naturally catering to JD due to his injury.

But I’m still watching Minseok, so I see when he walks to the foyer and steps into his shoes. Should I stop him? Ask if he’s okay? While I’m worrying over it, he slips out of the apartment.