Page 19

(Present)

Anya steps off the elevator like she owns the place. B raised her so she comes off cocky and full of herself at all times, like him. She’s a fourteen-year-old spit fire, lifting her chin and swaying her hips with each stride.

Kai is the first person we see, although I can hear commotion from down the hall.

“Hey...”

He's looking at Anya, no doubt remembering her holding a knife to his junk.

She smiles sweetly, and I nod my greeting.

“Uh... Everyone’s down that way. Dinner will be ready soon. I'm err cooking. Or whatever.”

Just then a timer goes off and he dismisses us. Anya and I share a grin because the food smells like shit, but we aren’t picky.

When we step into the room, it's instant heaven.

There’s work out equipment everywhere you turn and a huge mat rests in the center of the room. We had something similar at the compound, but nothing near as fancy as this.

There are young children and adolescents spread out on the mat as they watch Shaide go through some defensive moves with Creek and Rain.

Blithe had told us all about Shaide and his shadows. He had saved a child from trafficking years back and never stopped. He offers them all the choice of learning to fight back, so they never feel powerless again. Blithe said Shaide has a building specifically for the kids with round the clock care. He helps them get degrees and ensures they move on to live comfortable lives. It's so fucking beautiful. The sight of all of these children being given a second chance to live, that I was never granted. That Cami was never granted.

When Shaide see’s us he offers a wave before instructing the kids to try the demonstration themselves.

He saunters over to us, Creek and Raine at his back. I think he greets us, but my ears have shut down and I only have eyes for one person in the room.

A tear falls down my cheek, but I'm too shocked to flick it away before anyone can see. Besides, Blithe said I can cry if I fucking want to and that my mother was just a bitch.

At the back left corner of the mat, a boy stands. I don’t like to judge age by appearance, but he's about Anya’s height. When his partner approaches, waving a mocking hand in his face, trying to gain his attention, I watch with fascination. The hand goes ignored. Although I kind of want to break it. Fuck that kid.

Deciding that that would be unacceptable behavior, I Ignore our hosts, side stepping them to head to the boy.

He doesn't look up when I approach, and I wasn’t expecting him to. I ensure my hands are within his line of sight before signing.

“That guys obviously never had his ass kicked.”

I motion to the asshole in question.

The boy freezes for at least a solid two minutes, but I've nothing but time. The food smelled awful anyways.

Finally, very slow and carefully, he responds. My heart batters as a new gleam of happiness spreads there.

“He’s just mad that he’s been stuck with an uncoordinated partner all these weeks. I have no idea what the teacher is saying, and I do not learn by watching someone else’s movements.”

He looks up then and I'm able to get a clear view of his face. He is young, but a dimness resides in his dark eyes. I know those eyes. I have those eyes.

Without further thought, I rip my shirt over my head and send a scowl to the little bullying asshole, to which he backs up. It's unbecoming of me, but I can't help but have a sore spot for a deaf kid surrounded by predators. I cannot fathom the amount of times that Cami was pushed around for simply not being able to hear. Like what the fuck is that?

“What are you doing?”

He signs slowly, watching me warily. I forget my body looks like it ran through a giant cheese grater and made it out alive.

Ignoring the question, I spell out my name for him and then show him the sign given to me by Cami when we were just tots. He cringes because it consists of the middle finger, and I laugh before explaining.

“My little sister was deaf. She got a kick out of my name sign. It made her happy, which in turn made me more so.”

I shrug. Cami thought she was funny.

She totally was.

“Was?”

“Was.”

I don’t offer more than that because the subject of my baby sister never fails to ruin me. Now is not the time or place for an episode of any sort.

“Now. Show me your fighting stance.”

He licks his lips looking more nervous than determined, but like I said; I've got time. Eventually he caves and does so. Probably deciding that I'll continue to stare at him if he doesn't. He decided right.

The stance is all wrong. I ask if I'm able to touch him before adjusting his body after he gives a hesitant nod. Standing back in front of him, I take on the same position.

“Now show me how you would punch me, if I were to stand right in front of you.”

“I wouldn’t...”

I smile as a memory works it's way to the surface from the back of my mind.

“You are good with a knife, but what will you do without one, hm?”

“Uh... run?”

I hesitate. I don’t fucking know. All I know is knifes.

Blithe chuckles at me, shaking his head in disapproval. “Wrong. Show me your fighting stance.”

My fighting what? He’d have better luck finding my birth father.

When I'm not quick enough for him, B does it for me. Adjusting my arms and legs. I look myself over in the mirror and memorize the position. Learning I can do. I fucking love learning. Granted it's the only thing I have ever been able to do for myself, but still.

“Now show me how you would punch me, if I were to stand right in front of you.”

“I wouldn’t!”

I could never do that. Blithe has been the kindest person in this hell hole. Always looking out for Cami and I whenever he can.

I hear his snort right before he shoves me. I stumble back because he's a big fucker but correct my footing and lift my arms quickly. He shoves me again and again until I have finally had enough.

“Stop it, dick!”

I punch his ass. My fist connects with his rock-solid chest, and white-hot pain shoots through my wrist. I clench my teeth.

He tells me I need to turn my wrist, or I'll end up breaking it.

We practice again and again, until I finally get it just right. I preen when he pats me on the head with a smile.

Clearing my throat, I blink the memory and emotion it brings me, away. “Do it anyways.”

It takes a bit of coaxing, but he relents eventually and I'm able to properly assess and form judgements.

He’s a speedy leaner and we move on from different punches to other areas extremely quickly. I learn his name and sign, which is Pillar. He’s endearing, a bit shy, but comical. Pillar is wicked fast, and I watch with unwavering attention as he strikes out at me in any way he can, and I swiftly dodge all of his incoming approaches.

Sweat drips down my back as I fight to keep my breathing even. Just a little more practice and I'm positive he will-

A brutal hit strikes me right in my injured shoulder causing me to stagger a bit. The gauze that lay over it was seeped in blood minutes ago. I'm certain my stitches have ripped open. The burning sensation the hit causes is nothing compared to the joy that radiates off of Pillar in waves. My softy heart warms. Throwing my hands up, I sign and scream in one go, a whooping “Fuck yeah”, before lifting him and spinning.

He's still grinning big when I put him down. “Oh my god, you are so fast. I thought it would never end.”

Wiggling my brows, my smile matches Pillars. “You should see me with my knifes.”

His eyes light up with interest and I pull a couple out from different areas on my person. I toss Lola into the air first. Followed by my second favorite blade, until I'm successfully juggling four different knifes.

The children slowly trickle over. Even the bully, who will have a run for his money the next time he practices with Pillar.

“Can you hit a moving target?”

Without taking my gaze away from my careful movements, I nod to whoever asked that.

Suddenly a ball flies in my peripheral. The blade in my right-hand immediately soars in the direction I believe it to be going after I calculate the flick of my wrist.

It's strange to hear the ooohs and ahhs as this process continues, until I run out of knifes.

“He’s showing off.”

Anya signs.

I'm not sure what he says because his back is to me, but she flushes red and I quirk a brow at her.

She’s stepping in here and there and I'm sure they will be fast friends. Anya is sweet, loving, and full of compassion for others when you are on her good side.

This room makes me like a tot in a candy shop. When Kai announces dinners ready I'm reluctant to leave.

“You'll have to teach me that.”

I send Pillar a smirk, but of course I will.

On the way out, I feel eyes on me and finally allow myself to look up. Creek watches me, like he always does. Like he has been this whole time. My eyes flick away immediately, dismissing him. The way that he dismissed me, after something so intimate.

I mean is that normal? To touch someone in all of those ways, and then walk away like it meant nothing? Like the feeling of his skin on mine, didn’t light him on fire the way it did me.

His body was solid, smooth, lean muscles, that molded perfectly against mine. He beheld me like I was beautiful glass and spoke to me like a man obsessed. I was obsessed. Or maybe I just imagined the whole thing.

I know that people casually fuck, I'm not a child with no sense in direction. It's just that, I do not casually do anything of the sort, so it all felt like more.

Just the thought of letting someone else explore my body with their sticky hands makes me want to gag and flay my skin. Only he can touch me. The why is unknown. Maybe it's the way that he is the only person to ever call me on my shit. Other than B, no one else would dare. Creek has seen me in two compromising situations thus far, and he still regards me as if I'm just a stick in his fancy shoe. Well consider me a rock because I am a man with a plan.

Knowing that Creeks reasoning for keeping distance is a moot point because I'm not the sneaky spy, or whatever he believes me to be. I've come up with a six-month plan to trap him in my devilish talons. Okay, so maybe Addy came up with this plan when I confessed all my sins in the sheets. Since Addy has considerably more experience with romance, I've allowed him to pitch some advice. Lord knows I could use it.

We wrote a list of ideas together. They are all perfectly within reason, but all the waiting I'll need to endure makes my fingers twitch, itching to carry out idea number six or ten.

#6: Beat sense into Creek.

#10: Kidnap Creek.

Addy had paled and flinched at that and said we should reserve those for last. He is the expert, so I just shrugged.

I tried thinking through the situation myself, and pulling from the stories Blithe told me about him and Ressyn over the years, to no avail. Ressyn is a softy as opposed to Creeks rough edges and scowls, so that won't do.

Taking a seat at the dinner table, I stick to idea number three for now.

#3: Ignore Creek.

It’s fucking preposterous, but Addy says he knows these things, and to trust the process. All I want to do, is grab Creek and throw him into the nearest wall before demanding he touch me again.

“Socially unacceptable.”

Addy cautioned.

SoCiAlLy UnAcCePtAbLe, my fucking dick.