Page 6

CHAPTER 6

ELI

Edin doesn’t hang around between his back-to-back shoots. He showers and leaves, returning ten minutes before the next is set to begin. I know because I’ve been filming him. Yes, even after I said I wasn’t going to do that again.

By the end of the second shoot, my dick is throbbing. I’m probably going to poke his eyes out when I shove my cock in his face. See what you do to me!

But the countdown has officially begun. Less than an hour and I’ll get this man to myself. Okay, myself, two cameramen, and then thousands of fans who subscribe to our channels. I wonder if they’re going to like how I turn the tables.

I sit in the office, munching on a sandwich as I wait. I’ve seen videos of Edin bottoming before. It hasn’t happened often. He’s almost exclusively the top. And he’s always in complete control. He’s also always lost in his head.

Part of the reason I chose to film his first two sessions today was to study him in person like the creepy stalker I’m turning into. The problem with videos is that your focus is only where the camera shoots. While we see a lot of Edin’s face, it’s not where the primary focus is.

Understandably. This is porn, after all. People want to see the dick action, regardless of what the dick is doing.

But I need to see his face. I need to watch him. Watch his body language. The way he interacts. Now more than ever, I’m convinced Edin isn’t into this at all. Not even a little bit.

Part of me wonders if he takes a supplement to help get him hard. It almost always takes some coaxing at the beginning of the shoots during foreplay. Only once he’s completely tuning out what he’s involved in does his dick fully respond.

Classic straight guy, if I had to guess. He’s truly not into men, but he’s here for the money. Which, let’s be honest, most porn stars are. Sure, they might enjoy the constant orgasms, but it kind of makes sex very one-note after a while. Thus why I stopped getting involved so much. I’m only twenty-three. I’d prefer it if sex hasn’t already lost its appeal when I have my entire life ahead of me.

Jesse pops his head in. “You really on the list to perform?” he asks.

I nod but don’t offer the fact I’ve been staring at this guy via the screen for a while now. “Yep.”

He grins. “Awesome. You gonna bottom?”

“Nope. He seems pretty amenable when the positions are reversed.”

Jesse laughs. “Yeah, we’ll see. This is gonna be good.”

He backs out, and I smile. Let’s hope it’s good. Either it’s going to break the illusion I’ve hung around him, or I may just become more enthralled with him. I’m not even sure which I’m hoping for. No one wants to be disappointed when it comes to sex, so I’m going to assume I want the latter more.

Though… that sounds exhausting.

I head into the room about fifteen minutes early and debate how I’ll do this. Do I tell him up front that I’m fucking him? That it’ll be him handing over the reins this time? Or do I let him just figure it out as we go along?

I’m still contemplating my plan of action when Edin walks into the room, followed by the cameramen, Toby and Jesse. My breath catches as I stare at him for a second too long.

Now that I’m the person he’s paired with, I wonder if he’ll look at me. Like, truly meet my eyes. Which is why I’m going to say I’m staring.

He doesn’t. Edin looks in my direction, but he’s already on his way out of this moment. His eyes are pointed in my direction, but his gaze is already looking through me. I narrow my eyes slightly before looking at Toby and Jesse.

“Do you remember Elijah?” Toby asks Edin.

Edin looks at me, but his gaze is no clearer than it had been when he acknowledged my presence a moment ago. He shakes his head.

"Different seeing him on this side of the camera," Jesse teases me, grinning. “Been a while.”

I’m watching Edin instead of giving either of them much of my attention. I don’t want to miss anything. Any subtle change in his demeanor. A hint of hesitation to suggest he’s uncomfortable. But there isn’t any. It’s as if he hadn’t heard Jesse at all.

Confessions might be a secret underground sex operation for DIK, but we’ve gone out of our way to protect ourselves and everyone who walks through those doors to perform. The contracts are thorough, stating that if they’re ever uncomfortable for any reason, they can stop. If they don’t request a stop—which isn’t on a safe word system, but any single word that means stop—then it’s a green light to continue.

There’s also an entire section of the contract on hard limits and soft limits. Partners for a scene are told what they are before entering the room if it applies. Edin doesn’t have any.

Still, I study Edin to see if there’s any sign at all that he’s uncomfortable. I've been his cameraman before. That I’ve been in the room with him before. But he’s just as blank-faced as usual.

“Ready?” Toby asks.

Edin nods and I mimic the action.

“Cameras rolling.” Toby pauses. “Want to introduce yourselves?”

“Finn,” Edin says.

I hesitate for a second. What the fuck is my screen name again? “Len,” I say, glancing at Toby. He silently chuckles, rolling his eyes.

“Have you met before?” Toby asks.

“No,” I answer as Edin shakes his head.

“What’s the first thing you notice about the other person?”

I wait for Edin to answer. He does after a beat when I leave the floor open for him. “Pretty eyes.”

He answers generically. That’s something I hadn’t picked up on until today. “I love your curls,” I answer and bring my hand up to his head. I run my fingers through the short buzz on the base of his head and up into his curls. They’re incredibly soft as I grab a handful of them.

His eyes widen slightly as I bring his face closer to mine, which means I can see his eyes more clearly. I thought they were blue because eyes that look light from a distance usually are. But they’re green and brown. Such a unique light color I end up staring for a minute.

“You also have beautiful eyes, Finn. I could stare at them all day.”

The corner of his mouth quirks up in a half smile.

“Look at me,” I say, lowering my voice. “Open your pretty eyes and look at me.” I tighten my hold on his hair, knowing that I’m gripping it to the point it’s going to be painful. As I hoped it would, that pain interrupts whatever spell he puts on himself. The glassy, faraway look in his eyes fades.

His eyebrows knit together as his eyes focus on me. I know the moment he really sees me. The moment he’s completely in my presence. I smirk. “That’s better. This is exactly where you’re staying. Understand?”

A shiver races through his body, and he swallows. He doesn’t answer my question, but he also doesn’t reject it. I bring his mouth to mine and kiss him. Edin’s body immediately tenses. His hands move to my chest, his grip hard. Strong. He tries to push me back, but I keep my mouth locked to his, refusing to give him the control he seeks.

“Not this time, gorgeous,” I murmur against his lips. “You’re mine tonight.”

I don’t miss the quiet, muffled whimper. But I give him just a moment to say ‘no’ before I take his mouth again. He doesn’t.

Sex in front of a camera can be far more physical than ‘in real life’ because you’re putting on a show. But as I lift Edin’s shirt over his head and then pull his body back to mine, I realize just how little he touches his partners.

His hands grip my shirt at my sides. Because I’m not shy about touching his sexy fucking muscles, the friction between us as I move us around to accommodate my exploration creates the illusion that his hands move on me. In reality, they’re not moving at all.

I push him back onto the bed and go for his pants. Edin doesn’t try to stop me or even slow me down. He doesn’t tell me to stop. But I can see he’s trying to exit the situation mentally. I wrap my hand around his throat. He inhales sharply, his eyes widening.

“Uh-uh. I told you. You’re not doing that today. Not with me. You’re right here with me the entire time. Am I clear?”

Edin swallows again. He doesn’t answer right away. Not until I flex my hand around his throat. He swallows and nods subtly. I wait to make sure it isn’t a coerced agreement. I have no desire to actually force him into anything except maintaining his lucid frame of mind. Honestly, it’s much healthier this way, anyway. Fucking someone with impaired thinking isn’t good for anyone involved, even if they do it to themselves.

“Good.”

I divest him of his clothing and then stare at his perfect cock. I’ve been waiting to touch him. Waiting to take him in my mouth. Looking up to make sure he’s here, I find him staring at the ceiling with his eyes wide. He looks… almost spooked.

His entire body jerks when I take his dick into my mouth. His legs immediately widen for me, as if it’s a reflex. His hands dig into the bed. Salty pre-cum coats my tongue as his cock hardens for me. With every revolution of my tongue around his crown, every time I take him to the back of my throat, every suction as I pull him out of my mouth, his dick hardens until it’s a solid work of art.

“Much better,” I hum as I kiss along his shaft.

I glance up again. This time, his eyes are squeezed closed. His entire body is tense as he grips the bed with desperation. His chest heaves as if I’ve already fucked him. Already, like this, he looks far more wrecked than he does after every scene I’ve seen him in.

And we’re just getting started.

As I take his left nut into my mouth, I stare at his face. He groans. It’s stifled and choked. His body arches and I swear, a quiet whimper meets my ears. I keep messing with his balls, enjoying the way his cock leaks. Loving the way he’s unraveling for me.

Hmm… Maybe I can multitask here.

I get up and reach for the condom and lube on the bedside table before crawling over him and planting my knees on either side of his head. His eyes move to mine and I see the quiet panic in them.

“I won’t hurt you,” I promise. “If it’s too much, if I’m in too deep, tap my thigh three times. Okay?”

Edin nods. Several shallow jerky nods of his head. What I’m appreciating is that his eyes are clear. He’s completely here, in this moment, with me. I stare at his face a minute longer, waiting for him to say anything indicating he wants this to stop. When he doesn’t, I continue.

“Open your mouth, Finn.”

After another swallow, Edin opens his mouth. I sink down, pressing my cock into him. His hands had still been death-gripping the bedding, but as soon as my cock slides past his teeth, his hands move to my hips to slow me down.

I don’t force him, or push him beyond his comfort zone too much. I don’t want to hurt him. That’s not my goal at all. Instead, I let the pressure he’s placing on my hips give me cues about how he’s feeling and adjust from there.

My eyes close as his mouth finally closes around me. Part of me thinks he’s going to tap out and retreat into his head while we’re like this and I can’t see his face. But for this very moment, I hang my head and close my eyes as I slowly pump my cock into his mouth.

Fuck, I’ve dreamed of this. His hot mouth wrapped around my dick. Slurping. The way his tongue moves against the bottom of my cock. Nervous, maybe. Unsure. He gives a light suck now and then, almost as if he’s testing the waters.

I know I’m dripping pre-cum because he swallows periodically, a move that secures my dick tightly for half a second and has my mind rolling. Sending heat rippling through my body.

For the first several minutes, I pay special attention to his hands. Not only letting them guide my progress in his mouth, but also to see if any way he touches me could be interpreted as him tapping my thigh. However, his hands remain on my hips. There as a guide, not a barrier.

Grabbing the lube, I bury my face in his crotch. Once again, his entire body jerks when he’s in my mouth and he grunts around my dick. His hands press on my hips again. But his reaction is delicious. Not just the surprise and pleasure he takes from me, but because his mouth, his suction, becomes far more intense.

It’s nearly impossible to keep myself focused enough to get his hole ready for me. I push a finger inside him, getting the lube in deep. As much as I’d love to mess with his hole a lot, I don’t have the patience for that right now. My need to be inside him is growing exponentially fast. Too fast. I refuse to let this end quickly.

I’m quite proud of both of us. Edin doesn’t tap out. He gets bolder and wilder the longer we go. His hands never leave where they’re pressing on my hips. He doesn’t explore my body at all. I’m not sure if he’s afraid I’ll deep-throat him if he removes his hands or if we’ve reached his level of comfort as far as touch is concerned.

However, I don’t have time to explore this or push him a little more. My dick aches, and I need to be in his body when I get off. Reluctantly, I pull out of his mouth. The air feels cold against my dick after having been in the hot, wet inferno that is Edin’s mouth. He’s gasping for breath, chest heaving.

His eyes move to mine immediately as I climb off him. He still has that spooked look as he licks his spit- and pre-cum-covered lips. Still, he doesn’t say anything. His dick is the only part of him that has me convinced he’s aroused at all. Our eyes remain locked until he hears the condom wrapper. Then his gaze locks on my hands, which are busy wrapping my dick.

The way his entire body tenses has me concerned he’s going to jump out of bed and run. He doesn’t. He grips the bed once more and his eyebrows move up a little. The way his mouth shapes, I can now see one thing in his expression. He’s afraid.

And yet, he doesn’t tell me to stop. He doesn’t say he doesn’t want to bottom. He says nothing. Nothing means we continue.

I finish wrapping my dick and coat myself with lube before adjusting him how I want him. His hips at an angle. His top leg over my shoulder. His shoulders more or less flat on the bed, giving me access to his mouth. So I can watch his face to make sure he’s okay and that he stays with me the entire time.

I’m going to make him come while he’s staring into my eyes.

Once again, I wrap my hand around his throat. Not tightly. Just to give myself leverage to keep his leg where I want it without it slipping down as I adjust myself to get my dick lined up. I do so blindly. I mean, I know where his hole is, so I guide myself to him and gently press inside.

Edin’s breath catches. His hands release the bed and grip me anywhere he can. One hand grabs my wrist, right above where my hand wraps around his neck. The other grips my opposite shoulder while I guide my cock where I want it.

I stare into his face as I push inside him. He’s clearly not a well-practiced bottom. He’s entirely far too tense. Every time he closes his eyes or tries to look away, I flex my fingers around his neck and his eyes snap back to mine.

That’s why I see the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. I hear the quiet whimper as I push my way into his uber-tight body. I drag my hand up the bed, wiping off as much of the lube as I can, and then tangle my hand gently in his hair as I push myself the rest of the way inside.

Staring at his face, I see every single emotion ripple across it. I’m not kissing him right now, so there’s nothing preventing him from telling me to stop. I may not have asked him if he’s okay or wants to continue, but I haven’t looked away long enough to miss him needing to tap out. I have to trust he’ll tell me if he wants to stop. He’s here voluntarily, after all. So I stare at his gorgeous face as it contorts into all sorts of sexy expressions.

His body arches, his eyes squeeze shut. The sound that leaves his mouth is a cross between a whine and a moan. My dick feels strangled, and a fresh heat wave moves over my entire body as I sink into him. He’s magic. He’s hot as fuck.

He’s all fucking mine!

“Look at me,” I demand.

Edin’s eyes open. I watch them as I start fucking him. Slowly at first. At the moment, I don’t care what the audience wants. I won’t hurt him; so I give him plenty of time to adjust. Lots of time to tell me he can’t do this. Extra time to get comfortable with a dick moving in and out of his body.

Again, I let his hands on me dictate how we move. When his grip relaxes, I know he’s ready for a little more. And I give it to him. I fuck him for a long time, listening to the sounds he makes. Getting high on the way his body feels around me.

When I’m about to lose my shit, I reach for his dick and jerk him with purpose. His hands on me tense once more, as if I’m pushing into him for the first time again. The look on his face is pained once again as well.

Is he fighting an orgasm? Does he prefer not to come? Nothing has changed except that I’m ready to get him off. He tries to close his eyes.

“No,” I growl and take his mouth with my own. He’s slow to kiss me in return, but I’m very proud of the way I’m able to convince him to participate. He kisses me hotly, though his grip on me doesn’t loosen. In fact, it gets more intense the closer he gets to orgasm.

His entire body reacts when he comes. It’s like I can taste his release through his mouth as he moans into me. His ass clenches around me tightly as he spills all over my hand and onto his stomach. Over and over.

I’m almost frantic by the time I fill the condom still buried in his ass. My body shakes with pleasure, and my eyesight momentarily goes dark.

As I hover over him, spent, my body sways. Intense. So. Fucking. Good. I blink several times until I can see straight.

“That was hot,” Jesse mutters behind us. His voice sounds far away.

Slowly, I back away. Gently pull my cock from his ass and move away from Edin to give him some space. He immediately curls in on himself, and I give him a minute as I dispose of the condom.

Jesse and Toby have already left the room, so it’s just the two of us. But when I turn back to Edin, he’s still in a tight fetal position. He’s shaking.

Fuck. Did I hurt him?

I crawl back on the bed and try to get a look at his face. He’s not letting me. “Did I hurt you?”

He manages to shake his head, but he makes no move to get up. I’m not sure he can. So I lay next to him and pull him into my arms. Edin resists at first, but when I make it clear this is another thing I won’t let him avoid, he stops fighting me and allows me to wrap around him.

His entire body trembles. He’s gasping for breath. Edin is having a breakdown, and I think I caused it. I grip him as tightly as I can and don’t let him go.