Page 29

CHAPTER 29

EDIN

Dak and I made an arrangement when I signed up for hockey that he’d take care of getting Mo where she needs to go and keeping her overnight when I have away games. It was a little difficult for me to accept, but having a second chance at making hockey my future and providing a life for Mo that she deserves was too big an opportunity to pass up.

It’s worked for the last year and a half. I’m grateful, and I make sure Dak and Sparrow know that as often as I can.

However, the idea of leaving Mo for three days, knowing my mother is around, was proving to be very difficult. Dak recognized my stress and offered to tag along and come to our games. They’d stay in the same hotel I was so I could share a room with my daughter, but they’d be there to take her when I had hockey commitments.

I try not to think about how much money they’re spending to do this. I understand they both have some money, but I don’t want to be the reason they’re spending big chunks of it. They’re perfectly capable of keeping Mo safe at home. They don’t need to come just to put me at ease.

The one consolation is that her teacher is being very accommodating. When I briefly explained the reason I didn’t want Mo to stay while I was away for hockey games, she promised that Mo could attend class remotely. She even sent along all the work they’d be doing. I’m thankful for her support and understanding. Even if it’s just my paranoia and Mo would be completely safe, I’m not willing to take that chance.

When I step out of the arena, my eyes immediately lock on Elijah. I try not to enjoy the way just the sight of him makes my heart race. The bus to take us to the airport in L.A. is right behind where he’s standing, leaning against the light post like he’d been the very first time he waited for me with boxes of pizza in his hands.

His smile is sexy. Fuck it. Everything about the way he’s leaning against the pole and watching me is sexy. For just a second, as I walk by him to load my bag into the bottom of the bus, I muse how I never thought I’d think that about any man. It’s a very weird sensation, and yet it feels entirely natural at the same time.

Like I was meant to be here.

Walking back, I stand in front of him. He’s so damn casual when he places his hand on my hip and pulls me against him. I close my eyes, burying my face against his collarbone and enjoying the way his arms wrap around me.

My chest aches. We’ve been apart because of hockey before; it’s not anything new. But with this cloud hanging over my head right now, I’m seriously dreading being away from him.

“You going to be okay?” Elijah asks.

“I don’t have a choice,” I remark. “The real question is whether I’m going to be able to concentrate on hockey and not worry about whether my mother is snooping around campus.”

“Even if she is, neither you nor Mo will be here. So you don’t have to think about it at all. Mo will be there in the stands watching you. In the hotel with you. She’ll be trailing you every mile you go.”

I wince. “Yeah…”

Elijah chuckles. “It’s going to be okay.”

I want to believe him, I really do. I’m trying to.

“You know what’s going to be the suckiest part of this trip?” Elijah asks.

“What?”

“Not having you in my arms all night,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to my head.

I grin and wrap my arms around him. My need to get as close to him as possible is strong. He’s right. Mo is safe. She’ll be close the entire time. Being away from Elijah is what’s going to suck.

“Think you can skip school for a few days?” I ask. “Stow away under the bus and I’ll sneak you into the hotel room.”

Elijah hums. “While sneaking around sounds hot, I’m not sure we could get away with that. But I promise, I’ll be right here waiting for you when you get back. We can text and call and video chat as often as possible.”

“I don’t want to interrupt?—”

“Shut up, Edin. I’m going to hate being away from you as much as you are.”

I spend the next several minutes just breathing him in. Memorizing the scent of his skin, his shampoo, his cologne.

Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot of time. Already, I’m the last on the bus. I don’t feel like socializing, so I take the first seat and squish myself against the window, staring out at Elijah until we pull away.

Seriously, what’s become of me? I feel like a lovesick puppy. It’s disgusting and a little perplexing.

My teammates are talking animatedly in the back of the bus. I let their noise and chatter become a soothing background noise as I stare absently out the window. I wonder where Dak is right now. Did they leave ahead of us or are they literally behind the bus? What’s Elijah doing right now? Is he still thinking about me?

I lose track of time while these questions remain on repeat in my mind. It isn’t until I feel another presence sit in the seat beside me that I look up. I’m a little surprised to find Coach sitting beside me.

“How’re you doing, Edin?” Coach Tavis asks.

“Good. I think my injuries have all healed. Unless I get slammed into the boards at a very specific angle, my hip is all good too.”

Coach nods. “Good to hear, but I’m not talking about your injuries. I trust that you’re being responsible regarding your physical health.”

I nod. I’m not surprised he’s asking about the newest drama in my life. Silas Day, one of my teammates, promised he’d keep a lookout for my mother the day after she was on campus. When I asked how he knew, he said Denton asked the team to send out an alarm if anyone spots her.

It was sweet and a little overwhelming.

So yeah, the info reaching Coach is not surprising at all.

“She hasn’t been back,” I say, not bothering to ask what he’s talking about. “But I have this feeling I can’t shake that she’s not actually gone. Like the boogeyman, I keep expecting her to jump out of the shadows and grab Mo.”

“Why didn’t you bring her with us?”

My eyebrows knit together. “I didn’t think that was an option.”

“I’d make an exception under the circumstances.”

“Thank you,” I say and pause, giving myself a minute to let the relief that floods me at his words settle. “She’ll actually be with us most of the time. My best friend and his husband are tailing us with my daughter because I was too nervous to be away from her for three days when my mother could be running around.”

“Have you filed a restraining order?” he asks.

“Not exactly. But campus security knows and they’ve made a bulletin or whatever.”

“Why haven’t you filed for a restraining order?”

Good question. I shake my head as I try to find an answer. “Honestly? I didn’t think she’d ever show up. I’m on the opposite side of the country. We’ve been gone for three years. I’m twenty-three years old, so in no way at all does she have any jurisdiction over me. I guess… I thought we were safe.”

“And since she’s shown up?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’ll help. She’s going to do what she wants, regardless of how illegal or morally wrong it is. No piece of paper is going to convince her otherwise. My mother is convinced she needs to get her way on this and no one and nothing will stop her from enforcing it. I guess a part of me thinks it’s a waste of time. It’s not like a cop will be tailing Mo to make sure she doesn’t come around. They’ll show up after the fact, when it’s too late. What good is that going to do us?”

Coach doesn’t answer as he studies me. For several minutes, he considers what I said, and I can only imagine how stupid I sound. But honestly, it does sound like a waste of time. So we have this hypothetical restraining order in place. It’s not like it produces this force field or invisible barrier around my daughter. It’s not going to stop her.

“I suppose I see your point,” Coach concedes. “It’s probably still better to have the police informed that you’re concerned for your child’s safety. No, they’re not going to form a perimeter around her, but they’ll be aware of the situation at least and can be on alert.”

“I was under the impression campus security worked with the local police.”

He chuckles. “They do. But they can’t create restraining orders. That’s not within their power. That needs to come from the police department. You’re right there’s not a guarantee that it’ll keep either of you safe. But it’s still putting on record that you’re concerned for your child’s safety from someone who might try to take her. That’s your concern, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I nod. “The thing is… if she succeeds, either place my daughter ends up will be awful. Lydia, her mother, doesn’t want her. She’s the reason I took Mo when I left. So when— if —my mother finally figures that out, she’ll try to keep Mo.”

Nine years ago, I’d never have thought I could hate my parents. They were good parents. They indulged me and provided for me. My whole life until that point, they loved me and cared about me. They spent a lot of money making sure I could play hockey, and they came to every single game.

My therapist said one of the reasons my situation hit me as hard as it did was because my parents were suddenly unrecognizable to me. Their harshness, the way they turned a blind eye to how absolutely and dangerously miserable I was and how unhealthy the situation my child was in subconsciously shook me hard.

They never reverted to the parents I’d known. Their anger and disappointment in my actions consumed them and their sole focus regarding me was teaching me a lesson.

A lesson which would have ended with me dead had I not found the courage to leave. To this day, I know the only reason I managed to not take my life was because a part of me knew Mo would still be there. She’d live her entire life surrounded by one toxic situation after another.

The only one innocent in this is my daughter. I couldn’t let her stay in that life. Bringing her to Dak was the last ounce of strength I had in me. Knowing she was safe allowed me the freedom to just… end it.

Except Dak wouldn’t let me… And I'll forever be thankful for his interference.

Coach rests his hand on my forearm. “When we get back, you need to talk to the police. Okay?”

I sigh. “Yeah. Okay.”

“I understand why you think it’s a waste of time. I can see your point and I don’t even think you’re wrong, necessarily. But it’s still better to make them aware of the situation, Edin. They’re on your side. Especially with a child involved, they’ll give it extra attention.”

“Okay,” I repeat. “When we get back.”

Coach nods. “In the future, she’s welcome to travel with us on away games. I’ll make sure she’s accommodated. It’s not a big deal. Besides, she’s a fun addition, and the team loves her.”

A grin spreads across my face. “Thanks. She’ll love it, too.”

“I’m going to get her a jersey of her own and a clipboard. At this point, I’m pretty confident she could coach a game and we’d win.”

I laugh. “You’re probably right. I’ve never seen Amadeo hustle quite as much as when Mo’s yelling at him.”

Coach smiles. “Right? No one wants to be on the receiving end of Mo’s wrath.”

I’m fortunate. I know how fortunate I am. Turning my attention out the window, I can’t help but wonder for the hundredth time what Elijah’s doing right now. He’s one of the reasons I feel fortunate right now.

It feels like my life is on the cusp of turning out okay. Like karma sees the shit hand it dealt me and is working on getting my life back on the trajectory I’d been on.

So what cosmic deity has thrown the speed bump that is my mother back at me? Who did I piss off in a previous life? What do I need to do to make it right?